Am I a jerk for not being willing to help my kids financially with college?

[SolaScriptura]

I have a question--are children our responsibility until they are married? I think this would play into this discussion.

I agree that this plays into the discussion. If they ARE our responsibility until they're married then there would definitely seem to be some ramifications for the given topic.

I don't think they are. Adulthood is a culturally contingent designation. Our culture seems to award "adult" status in stages, but at the age of 18 they are given autonomous decisionmaking status. At that point you can't MAKE them do anything. I'm not responsible for something - or someone - I can't control.

 

[Wannabee]

Obey your parents until you're 18 and it will go well with you???

 

[SolaScriptura]

Obey your parents until you're 18 and it will go well with you???

What's that supposed to imply?

The duty of a "child" to honor his/her parents is not related to the same period of time in which the parents have the duty to be responsible for providing the material support for that "child."

So what's your point?

 

[Wannabee]

It was a piggy back on your last paragraph and a rebuttal to the cultural idea that "at the age of 18 they are given autonomous decisionmaking status." It was more tongue-in-cheek than anything else - but the cultural influence on family is clearly seen when 18 year olds think they are no longer accountable to their parents. This flies in the face of biblical principle. Nowhere do we ever see a man not accountable to his father in Scripture, regardless of age. The only biblical exception is "in the Lord."

As for "providing for that child," I'm not sure Scripture is clear on that. I would put that in the "personal conviction" category, but, God help me, I would never leave my children without their basic needs, if I could help it, regardless of their age.