Are we to forgive others conditionally or unconditionally?

[SolaScriptura]

When someone wrongs us are we to withhold forgiveness until such time as they repent? Or are we to simply forgive them regardless of their attitude and actions? In short, are Christians to forgive people of their sins only after repentance has been made and forgiveness has been sought?

Building on the true definition of forgiveness, I attempt to answer this question in my blog post for today: Forgiving unconditionally.

 

[Unoriginalname]

I have really enjoyed and profited from this series. They were truly a blessing to me.

 

[SolaScriptura]

Josh,

Thanks for the comment. I address some of this in the part of my post that I didn't place online (because it was already longer than I prefer for my site), but I think it is important to keep in mind the distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. Yes, typically speaking reconciliation is the goal of forgiveness, but just as "justification" and "adoption" and "sanctification" are all aspects of the same salvation they are nonetheless distinct ideas. If we necessarily connect forgiveness and reconciliation then we will be drawn to see repentance as prerequisite. I do not believe that the vocabulary of forgiveness, lexically speaking, allows an inherent relationship of necessity between the two concepts. In my post I provide the biblical rationale for why I believe the teaching of the New Testament leans toward unconditional forgiveness. Additionally, as I try to explain in my post, I believe the "if he repents" of Luke 17:3-4 is is over-used and mis-applied by proponents of conditional forgiveness.
I appreciate that you bring out the difference and distinction between Creator and creature. It is precisely because of this distinction that I don't believe the exact conditions for God's forgiveness of us can rightly be applied as conditions for our forgiveness of others.

 

[SolaScriptura]

I appreciate that you bring out the difference and distinction between Creator and creature. It is precisely because of this distinction that I don't believe the exact conditions for God's forgiveness of us can rightly be applied as conditions for our forgiveness of others.

Much agreed. My only point was to show -and I think you agree- that forgiveness has a range of understanding, and insofar as we are able, while we may not affect reconciliation, our forgiveness ought to be open and free and as full as it can possibly be. This means no holding of said offense over the head of the offender, praying for the offender, making proper use of their offense against us by reminding ourselves of our own egregious offenses against God, etc. As noted, I think much of the disagreement between well-meaning Christians is one of semantics. The Creator/creature distinction has large ramifications as to what we are to do as God's creatures by His commandments, and those same ramifications do not apply to God Himself, as the very Commander of such things.

Very true.

 

[SolaScriptura]

I have really enjoyed and profited from this series. They were truly a blessing to me.

I'm glad you found it helpful!

 

[Rong]

Yes we are supposed to forgive someone unconditionally despite their total inability or unwillingness to recognize their wrongful attitudes and actions. Matt 18:21-22

And I say this because of a particular wrong done to me 20 years ago. As a fallen man it wouldn't have mattered to me how many times or in what degree the person who trespassed against me were to repent, I would never be able to forgive them. It is only through my (albeit weak comprehension) of the forgiveness of God through Christ - for me - that I recognize my absolute need to forgive this person unconditionally. It is not my responsibility or right to hold onto this trespass.

It is however my duty to rest in the promises of God knowing that in the end he will meet out a perfect justice.

 

[Pergamum]

Great work, Chaplain. I posted the following in a different place where you post has been highlighted, but thought I would also post here. While there are a lot of people who I think are simply trying to find a way to keep holding a grudge, some folks disagree on mere semantics. Thanks for the post. Here are a few quotations that I like pertaining to this subject:

Samuel Rutherford:

The private forgiving is a duty of charity commanded in the Law of Nature to all, even out of Church-state, and obligeth the Excommunicate, who, though they be case out of the Church, are not exempted from the Law, that bindeth all, Mat. 6.12, 14, 15; Mat. 4:44.46. but the Church-forgiving is an act of obedience to a positive Church-Law of Christ, 2. private Christians are to forgive their Enemies whether they repent, or not, even as Christ forgave those who crucified Him, Col. 3.13. Luk. 23.34. and when the party repenteth not, this forgiveness is not ratified in Heaven, yet are we obliged to forgive, and to commit vengeance to God; but the authoritative forgiveness is a thing that the Church, is not obliged unto, absolutely; nor may they, or can they forgive, except the Offender repent: and if they see that he repenteth not, they cannot lawfully forgive; but, being in God's room, must take vengeance on all disobedience, and their retaining of sin and forgiving, is valid in Heaven, because they are in God's place. Now any forgiving or retaining of sin but these two, together with God's forgiving and retaining, we know not. But Peter's forgiving his offending brother seventy times seven times, is common to all private Christians, even out of Church-state, and so the instance given is not to the purpose, 6. To these only are the Keys given, who having Paul's pastoral spirit, may convene and deliver to Satan, but the Church of believers without Officers, not having Paul's pastoral spirit which is a spirit official, and authoritative to preach, excommunicate, and administrate the seals of the Covenant, may not convene and do this.
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John Angell James:

2. Are we to forgive a person—if he will not confess his fault?

Forgiveness has various degrees, and in the fullest and most complete sense of the term it is not required of us, until confession is made. God does not forgive us unless we acknowledge our sins. "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Christ makes the duty of forgiveness dependent upon the repentance of the offender. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." But still there are certain duties to be performed towards him even in this obdurate and unrelenting state of mind. We should in the exercise of meekness and gentleness endeavor to convince him of his wrong-doing in the manner laid down in the former essay. We are not, on discovering his impenitence and obduracy, at once to turn away from him in anger and disgust, and leave him to himself, and thus allow sin to lie upon him. And even after all suitable expostulations have been used, and he still remains stubbornly bent upon making no concession, we are not to allow ourselves to cherish enmity and malice towards him; we must harbor no ill-will towards him; we must pray for him—and be willing to do any good to him. Kindness shown to an impenitent offender, in a way that will not seem to connive at his sin, or encourage a repetition of it—may melt his hard heart. This is what the apostle calls heaping coals of fire on his head, and by the agony of a guilty conscience, rendered more susceptible by your forgiveness, melting down the cold, hard substance of his iron heart.

Here we act like God, who though he does not receive impenitent offenders to his favor, or bestow upon them the blessings of his children, still continues to them many providential comforts. And for what purpose? The apostle declares this, when he says, "Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience—not recognizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" This is extraordinarily beautiful—the goodness of God, instead of turning its back upon the unrepenting sinner and retiring from him in wrath and disgust, turns towards him its lovely countenance, and even takes hold of his hand to lead him to repentance. Here is our pattern. We cannot receive the offender to our favor until he has confessed his fault; but we can be kind to him, and like our Heavenly Father take him by the hand and lead him to a better state of mind. He is not even in his sullen obduracy, to be an object of our hatred and revenge.
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So there is a sense in which we cannot experience/give full forgiveness which includes reconciliation of some sort unless a person acknowledges that need of forgiveness and repents. On the other hand, we must keep in mind the Creator/Creature distinctions between us and God and realize we have no right to withhold forgiveness in the same manner God does, because we're guilty of sins ourselves and God is not. He's God, we are creatures. He is free to hate His enemies because He does so in complete holiness and perfection. We are commanded to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, etc. God may take the life of whomsoever He pleases, we may not. When He does it, it's just. When we do it, it's murder. God may take anything from anyone, because it's already His. When we take things from others, it's stealing. etc.

Great quotes.