American Christianity 101

[Backwoods Presbyterian]

From the "Religion" columnist in this mornings local paper:

‎"Jesus said, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20. Do you need a major breakthrough today? Could it be your health, financial, relationships, work, ministry, a favor? At the moment, it might seem there is no way you'll get your breakthrough. The large mountain standing in your way, keeping you from reaching your miracle is so big. The mountain/giant seems intimidating and scary...[tells the story of David and Goliath]...God has already equipped us with His power to win. He has already provided the stone lying on the ground for us to pickup and place in our sling. But it's up to us to choose or not to fight this mountain, speaking to it in faith in the name of Jesus....The stone is on the ground. Are you ready to pick it up and place it in your sling? Speak to that giant/mountain/obstacle in the name of Jesus! Today is your day to remove what has caused your life to be miserable!".

 

[chuckd]

Someone should have told Heman that all he had to do was pick up that stone and sling it in the name of Jesus!

Ps. 88
1 O lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee:
2 Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry;
3 For my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave.
4 I am counted with them that go down into the pit: I am as a man that hath no strength:
5 Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand.
6 Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps.
7 Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah.
8 Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me; thou hast made me an abomination unto them: I am shut up, and I cannot come forth.
9 Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.
10 Wilt thou shew wonders to the dead? shall the dead arise and praise thee? Selah.
11 Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?
12 Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?
13 But unto thee have I cried, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.
14 Lord, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?
15 I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up: while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted.
16 Thy fierce wrath goeth over me; thy terrors have cut me off.
17 They came round about me daily like water; they compassed me about together.
18 Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.

 

[Gforce9]

Pastor,
This will be your best life now!

 

[Alan D. Strange]

Today is your day to remove what has caused your life to be miserable!".

It's fascinating that we continue to think that what has caused our life to be miserable is suffering, instead of sin. Jesus our Lord suffered, and, unfathomably, learned obedience through the things that he suffered (Heb. 5:8). None of can comprehend this, but we know that if He had to learn obedience through suffering, how much more we!

As C.H. Spurgeon said, "God had but one Son without sin, and no sons without suffering." Let us all pray that the kind of drivel that Ben quotes for us will give way to true gospel preaching.

Peace,
Alan

 

[Andres]

Forget the fact that your local paper is spewing abhorrent theology, but that's blatant plagiarism if they won't give Mr. Osteen his due credit!

 

[AThornquist]

So instead of "God helps those who help themselves", it is "God has helped, so now you must help yourself"? That's still not good news.

 

[DMcFadden]

Forget the fact that your local paper is spewing abhorrent theology, but that's blatant plagiarism if they won't give Mr. Osteen his due credit!

 

[Rich Koster]

Actually this reeks more like Rod Parsley and the Word of Faith movement. Joel more of WoF lite.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Forget the fact that your local paper is spewing abhorrent theology, but that's blatant plagiarism if they won't give Mr. Osteen his due credit!

Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!