Thoughts on this situation (esp. pastors/leaders)

[ReformedWretch]

Lets say you're a pastor of a church and a new member begins to attend. You've met with him and you're convinced he is a born again believer. As you've gotten to know him you've seen what a great father he is, how he attends every service and participates, you've seen how attentive he is to other members giving them advice, direction, opinions, etc. all soundly biblically based as well. He's isn't rude or ignorant, but he isn't afraid to address the touchy subjects or to lovingly approach a brother in error. He often comes to you for advice and opinions in regard to his life, life style, choices, etc. He has a passion to do things the right, biblical way. He asks you to point out areas he can improve upon and shuns praise giving all credit to the Lord.

You've had this fella as a member for two years now and all of these traits have continued. You've learned that a few members of the church don't like this guy because "He thinks he knows everything" or "He's not perfect!" and other such statements. When you've pressed these members to further elaborate on why they do not like this man, all they have are uncomfortable looks and rolling their eyes act as if your just stupid if you don't know why they don't like him.

A leadership position within the Church suddenly becomes open. You believe this man would fill the void nicely and are prepared to ask him. Before you do, you want to address the few members who have "issues" with him.

What do you tell him? Do you expect him to do anything or show you anything in regard to those few who are annoyed by him for no good reason? You have some men in the Church who've been there for 20 years or more but they've never shown interest in leadership or if they have they refuse to make any life style changes to properly reflect Church leadership.

If you ask this new member (of 2 years) to consider the leadership role (Elder maybe for example) you know you're going to anger those who do not like him and they may sway a few others to their side.

So, what do you do? What should the man being considered for leadership do?

 

[Pergamum]

There is obviously reasons for even a few people not to like him.

Don't brush off the critics.

I have known folks that can wow some people for a short time but when people have to work closely with them, the good first impressions or external game fades fast...


Hypocrisy is often smiffed out and avoided better than being explained.



Or, you just have a few cranky folks in your midsts...

 

[Staphlobob]

A leadership position within the Church suddenly becomes open. You believe this man would fill the void nicely and are prepared to ask him. Before you do, you want to address the few members who have "issues" with him.

There's your answer. Speak directly with those who have these issues and find out - with particular instances and concrete evidence - what their problems are with the other man. What has he specifically done? Can they name times and places? Can they produce evidence? This is not a time for generalized "feelings."

If they can be detailed and concrete, then it's time to have them sit down, with you and the other man, and addressthe issues. Otherwise it would seem to be more of a personality conflict. (In which case you're facing another problem altogether.)

Just my

 

[fredtgreco]

There are a couple of principles:

1. The absolute worst thing that a church can do is to hastily lay hands on a man for the eldership. It can kill a church if it does the wrong thing.

2. A man is called to be an elder over a congregation of people not in the abstract. If the people will not have him, then he should not serve there.

Now that does not mean that a small minority can bar a man from serving, but I would begin to inquire discretely with others what they thought of the man, perhaps by asking others in the congregation whose opinion I trusted "who do you think would make a good elder?"

I would also say that 2 years is a VERY short time to be brought into leadership. I (generally) would not do that - even with no criticisms - unless the man had proven himself in prior service elsewhere. And by that I mean having served as an elder somewhere. We are always in a hurry, and especially to get people involved and in leadership. A HUGE mistake in my opinion.

 

[BJClark]

Adam,

A few things...I see in your post that should be considered.

1. Is he being asked to give his advice/direction/opinions or is he just taking it upon himself to go and offer advice/direction/ and his opinion?

2. If others don't take his advice/direction/opinions how does he respond?

3. He may not be rude or ignorant, but does he come across as arrogant?
meaning is he pushy towards others to do things the way he thinks are right?

he isn't afraid to address the touchy subjects or to lovingly approach a brother in error.

4. Does he feel obligated to address everyone on touchy subjects of approach every brother in error?

You've learned that a few members of the church don't like this guy because "He thinks he knows everything" or "He's not perfect!" and other such statements. When you've pressed these members to further elaborate on why they do not like this man, all they have are uncomfortable looks and rolling their eyes act as if your just stupid if you don't know why they don't like him.

Have they been asked to address these issues with this brother himself?

What do you tell him?

The bible clearly teaches if a brother has sinned against us, we are to go to them, but it also teaches IF we know a brother has ought against US we are to leave our gift at the alter and go to them...so, if the brother (and the pastor) knows these people have a problem with has the pastor advised him to go to these people and address the issues and try to work them out?

If this brother sincerely desires to do the right thing, he should be willing to humble himself and go to them and hear what they have to say.

Do you expect him to do anything or show you anything in regard to those few who are annoyed by him for no good reason?

No good reason in whose opinion? The man's? The Pastors? Those who are offended by him?

Someone either in a leadership position or being looked at for a leadership position, should not be so arrogant as to ignore the opinions and concerns of others, especially if he is being looked at to LEAD them. Because if they have issues with this man's arrogance, they will not want to follow this man's lead, no matter how Biblically sound he may be.

Have they attempted to address this man themselves, and He blew them off, not even realizing it, because of his own pride of knowing more than they do?

So, what do you do? What should the man being considered for leadership do?

I think he should pray, asking God to seach his own heart and show him how he may have offended these brothers, then go to them and address the issues, without getting defensive when they tell him, and thank them for being honest so that he can address those things before God.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Wonderful points all, now, let's say it's NOT a church but a company. How many of your opinions/advice change? Any of them? Just a few? Can I ask you to look at your advice/opinions again and answer that question as best you can.

God bless you all for your efforts and time in this.

 

[Machaira]

Wonderful points all, now, let's say it's NOT a church but a company. How many of your opinions/advice change? Any of them? Just a few? Can I ask you to look at your advice/opinions again and answer that question as best you can.

God bless you all for your efforts and time in this.

Hi Adam,

I don't pretend to know how a company would handle a similar situation, but the BCO should be put to good use. Provided that this man's nomination has been accepted by the session and provided that those who seem to have something against him refuse to bring specific charges that would disqualify him, then his election should be put to a congregational vote. At this time the congregation will be asked,

Do you, the members of this church, acknowledge and
receive this brother as a ruling elder (or deacon), and do you
promise to yield him all that honor, encouragement and
obedience in the Lord to which his office, according to the Word
of God and the Constitution of this Church, entitles him? (BCO, Form of Government, 24-5).

If the answer is no, then all you can do at that time is vote "no."

 

[BJClark]

houseparent;

Wonderful points all, now, let's say it's NOT a church but a company. How many of your opinions/advice change? Any of them? Just a few? Can I ask you to look at your advice/opinions again and answer that question as best you can.

God bless you all for your efforts and time in this.

It would depend, are they Christians or do they claim to be followers of Christ?

If so, then as Christians, they should be setting the example of Christ.

If not, then I wouldn't think they would/could really apply Godly expectations on others. However, if they want to have a peaceful work environment, you would think...they would WANT to address the issues, so that all employees would/could work peaceably amongst each other...for a better run work environment.