Ridding ourselves of mistaken beliefs about forgiveness

[SolaScriptura]

In today's blogpost, part 3 in my series on forgiveness, I talk about the things forgiveness is NOT. I list and briefly discuss the 6 most frequent misconceptions I have encountered during my time in the ministry. If you think of more, feel free to discuss them in the comments!

Blog post: Clearing the clutter... Ridding ourselves of mistaken beliefs about forgiveness.

Let the good times roll!

 

[Leslie]

This is helpful. I never have understood forgiveness. What if the offender never apologizes? I don't think one can forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven. If offensive behavior continues and the offender does not consider it wrong, where, if anywhere, does forgiveness come in?

 

[SolaScriptura]

This is helpful. I never have understood forgiveness. What if the offender never apologizes? I don't think one can forgive someone who doesn't want to be forgiven. If offensive behavior continues and the offender does not consider it wrong, where, if anywhere, does forgiveness come in?

Those are super questions, Mary. I've had those questions asked a number of times.

I don't intend to be evasive or self-promoting, but they're going to be addressed in my next (and final) post on the subject.

I'm also going to address the tendency of some offenders to demand forgiveness.

 

[Shawn Mathis]

Ben,

Have you ever read Adams' From Forgiven to Forgiving? Good book.

 

[SolaScriptura]

Ben,

Have you ever read Adams' From Forgiven to Forgiving? Good book.

I read it a long time ago, but I don't own the book. I recall disagreeing with him on a number of points. For example, I recall his attempt at explaining Jesus' prayer "forgive them, for they know not what they do" to be very odd. And I certainly disagreed with his idea of conditionality. (!)

 

[Unoriginalname]

I have to say that was very convicting because after looking at the true definition of forgiven I can see how contrary it is to my nature.

 

[SolaScriptura]

I have to say that was very convicting because after looking at the true definition of forgiven I can see how contrary it is to my nature.

Mine too. I want justice and I want it now!

 

[jwithnell]

As such, you let go of future appeals to this particular offense in subsequent matters or dealings with the offender as if they are still in moral debt to you for it.

Not doing so is one of the biggest relationship-breakers out there. When my husband and I were counseled before getting married, we were advised to "keep the balance sheet short." Strange thing is, I find this easier on what some might consider the bigger offenses, but let myself fume on the little day-to-day offenses. Neither is healthy.

 

[SolaScriptura]

Strange thing is, I find this easier on what some might consider the bigger offenses, but let myself fume on the little day-to-day offenses.

I share your opinion that it seems strange that we let the little things pile up and we fume over them.

We like to think that it is the "big things" that break us. But as you've discovered it really is the little things piled up that break us.

When my wife and I got married we didn't have premarital counseling. It would have saved a lot of frustration had we done it.