Potty Training

[Michael]

Anyone care to share some creative ideas here? I'm afraid that we missed the best opportunity with our youngest who is now about to turn 3 and still in training pants. He was very interested in the potty some months ago but it was a bad time simply because we were moving a lot. Now he is not being very receptive. He may go once or even twice a day in the potty but mostly he just uses his training pants without communicating anything.

One question I have in particular is how best to handle it when he wets or poops himself. Is it profitable to tell him that that is wrong, or should all the focus be positive?

 

[Herald]

The reward system worked well with our daughter. A small treat and praise for each time she did well.

 

[Kevin]

Rewards work best. in my opinion

Make a schedule of "potty time" and follow it. That has worked for a lot of people.

Don't sweat it. People develop on their own time tables.

 

[JBaldwin]

Wow, potty training children. That was ages ago. It seems to me we used a reward system with our children, and it worked very well. We had them potty trained in very little time.

 

[Herald]

btw rat brains are not a good reward.

 

[Michael]

btw rat brains are not a good reward.

You don't know how glad I am that you shared this. It seems you've saved me a lot of explaining with the missus.

 

[BertMulder]

Our 3 year old boy (4 in december) struggled the same one for a long time. All the sudden he caught on, both day and night, in less than a couple days. Try not to pressure to much.

 

[Sonoftheday]

We just potty trained my 2 1/2 year old girl about a month ago. We just took her outta training pants and put her in her big girl undies and took her to the potty every chance we could. Took a few days of messy accidents but she got the hang of it pretty quick. Did a little bit of bribing with the reward system but mostly just talking to her about how she needs to go in the potty and tell us helped more than that. We often think that our children wont understand us when we talk to them at such a young age but they are often much smarter than we give them credit for. She had a cousin who was potty training at the same time and that helped as well.

 

[PuritanCovenanter]

I was lucky. I just dropped them off at my Dad's house. He made them sit on the trainer till they used it. It worked. Go figure.

 

[Ivan]

Randy! LOL

Yes, reward system, but I wouldn't act pleased with accidents.

 

[Tripel]

We are in the middle of potty-training our oldest and have done a similar approach as Bryan.

We picked a day, put in on the calendar, and made certain my wife was free to be in the home all day for a few days. On that day we stopped using diapers and pull-ups for daily use and put her only in big girl underwear. After several messes and tears she got it through her head that the potty was the best way to avoid the unpleasantness. We also set timers for 20 minutes after anything she ate or drank, and when that beep when off we'd get all excited about "potty time!" and run to the bathroom.

It went much better than anticipated...that is in regards to "#1". We are still fighting the battle with "#2", which she still is often doing in her underwear. So now we're doing high-fiber meals to make the unpleasantness a factor again.

 

[kceaster]

Pick a day to fight the battle! And fight it all day long.

We didn't do any kind of reward. And although this may seem harsh, we made the boys clean their soiled clothes if they were obstinate and didn't tell us when they needed to go.

Mom was a trooper! Or a drill instructor... (Well, I was in the Marines during that time.)

It always helps to have an older sibling of the same sex. Our first was difficult, but the second learned alot from his big brother.

When I think about it, getting them to brush their teeth was harder...


Blessings,

KC

 

[Honor]

this is what we did for our boys
we started about a week before, we made a BIG FAT HUGE deal when daddy went to the potty. when he went he would annouce that he had to go and I would drop whaever I was doing and get VERY exited. then we would stand around and watch how the "big boys do it" and after he flushed we would clap and dance around. at the store a few days later we would let the boys pick out their own "Big Boy Underwear" what ever they liked. but we wouldn't let them wear it for a few days. (built up the anticipation) then when the BIG BOY DAY came I let them pick which pair to wear, then I just let them wear a t-shirt and underroos. every little while I would ask if they had to go.... the first two days, every time they went we gave them a matchbox car (they were really into matchbox cars and they were really cheap) and we would clap and dance around. we made a HUGE deal of it. then after two days they would only get a car if they were dry for a whole day. and that lasted the rest of that week and then we did it when they could go a whole week with out an accident. we had VERY VERY few accidents. like maybe 2 per boy the whole time. Seems crazy but it really worked. it was stress free and there was no tears involved.

 

[Backwoods Presbyterian]

With my oldest we bought two training potties and took one in whatever room she was in and left one in the living room. We then let her run around naked (with a shirt on) and she figured it out pretty quick.

 

[JennyG]

According to our experience,- the longer they stay in nappies (diapers) and the less uptight you get about it, the faster and more matter-of-course the transition will be when it does happen.
Good luck!

 

[dr_parsley]

If he's nearly 3 and seems not interested, I'm guessing you've tried all the advice given so far. Our daughter was 3 and a quarter and we'd tried everything too. Not even her 7 month younger brother being fully potty trained for months could encourage her. She had no problem with being dirty - she'd bounce on her bum on the trampoline with a dirty nappy and never tell us she'd done anything. She also quite enjoyed the attention she got with nappy changes. The whole thing was very comfortable for her. She enjoyed the attention she got in training, whether positive or negative or neutral it didn't matter.

Anyway, one day we were sick of it and just said to her, "OK, when this bag of nappies is finished, that's it. We're not buying any more and you'll just have to do it." We weren't bluffing - we were prepared to have her run round naked for as long as it took! When those nappies were finished she just started using the potty and she didn't need any help at night or anything.

 

[moselle]

In general, we try to avoid systems of rewards (I have "issues" with things that look like behavior modification), but with my youngest son, it was the thing that worked; he was 4 when it finally happened. For him, it was Pringles. Mmmmm. Love those Pringles.

Our response to accidents was generally "Oh dear, an accident. Let's go sit on the potty." He also had to go naked because he didn't care if he was a mess, as long as there was something there to "catch" it, which also made it difficult to get him to go in the potty. He'd hold it for half a day sometimes.

For what it's worth, it took about a day and a half and once he finally "got it, that was the end of training. Very quick, no accidents since.

 

[CatherineL]

I second getting rid of the diapers - especially disposables, they're so comfy that kids don't always realize they're wet. I liked using cloth training pants. Kids can feel when they're wet, and are uncomfortable, but it doesn't usually go all over the floor like with big kid underwear. We used something like these:
Bummis Training Pants - Potty Training - Cotton Babies Cloth Diaper Store

Also, we used little rewards like 1 m&m per sucessful potty trip. I know some people don't like the idea of rewards, but I use them because its very helpful for keeping potty-going on the brain. My kids almost never get sweet treats, so it was a huge incentive - it kept them waiting to "hear" from their bodies. We would wean them off the rewards after they were going everytime by switching to, say 2 candies at lunch if there were no accidents in the morning.

It also helps to get all the siblings in on the action, cheering, encouraging. My oldest daughter's job was to help open the door and turn on the light for her little sister if mom was busy with baby brother when the urge hit.

 

[Michael]

Thank you to everyone for your input! I will be sharing some of your thoughts with my wife later this evening.