Jonathan95
Puritan Board Sophomore
I understand that it can be difficult for Christians to remain faithful in today's society.
I was baptized in 2016, and though I have learned a great deal since then, there are still some areas of my life where I doubt.
For example, I still allow myself to be exposed to darkness and depravity through the music, shows, and people I associate with on a daily basis. While part of me feels conflicted about this behavior, it is not enough for me to make any radical changes. Additionally, it can be hard to break away from long-held beliefs
- something that has become increasingly apparent to me as time goes on. I am a terrible Christian because I do not always follow Christ's teachings. I often find myself sinning and not living up to His standards. You might think that I struggle with my faith and doubt God's existence. This is not true. I've never been more sure of the fact that the Bible is true as the Word of God.
Overall, I am just not a very good follower of Christ. This isn't for lack of trying, but interiorly, something seems to be working against me- scripturally speaking, this would be called "the flesh". In Paul's writing on Romans 7:1-25 .
He speaks about this inner conflict in detail..and it really resonates with me. I have sinned in ways that would call for death biblically. I am currently under church
censure and facing ex-communication.
This means that I will likely lose my family and end up in Hell. May the Lord have mercy on me. I don't know how to change my beliefs or my behavior.
Perhaps all this time I thought that God would be doing that from the inside out with me, but it appears I was wrong. I really do think I'm just not cut out for this lifestyle.
I was baptized in 2016, and though I have learned a great deal since then, there are still some areas of my life where I doubt.
For example, I still allow myself to be exposed to darkness and depravity through the music, shows, and people I associate with on a daily basis. While part of me feels conflicted about this behavior, it is not enough for me to make any radical changes. Additionally, it can be hard to break away from long-held beliefs
- something that has become increasingly apparent to me as time goes on. I am a terrible Christian because I do not always follow Christ's teachings. I often find myself sinning and not living up to His standards. You might think that I struggle with my faith and doubt God's existence. This is not true. I've never been more sure of the fact that the Bible is true as the Word of God.
Overall, I am just not a very good follower of Christ. This isn't for lack of trying, but interiorly, something seems to be working against me- scripturally speaking, this would be called "the flesh". In Paul's writing on Romans 7:1-25 .
He speaks about this inner conflict in detail..and it really resonates with me. I have sinned in ways that would call for death biblically. I am currently under church
censure and facing ex-communication.
This means that I will likely lose my family and end up in Hell. May the Lord have mercy on me. I don't know how to change my beliefs or my behavior.
Perhaps all this time I thought that God would be doing that from the inside out with me, but it appears I was wrong. I really do think I'm just not cut out for this lifestyle.