Jonathan Edwards on marriage according to nature

[Reformed Covenanter]

Now it is easy to everyone to know that when marriage is according to nature and God’s designation, when a woman is married to an husband she receives him as a guide, as a protector, a safeguard and defense, a shelter from harms and dangers, a reliever from distresses, a comforter in afflictions, a support in discouragements. God has so designed it, and therefore has made man of a more robust [nature], and strong in body and mind, with more wisdom strength and courage, fit to protect and defend; but he has made woman weaker, more soft and tender, more fearful, and more affectionate, as a fit object of generous protection and defense.

Hence it is, that it is natural in women to look most at valour and fortitude, wisdom, generosity and greatness of soul: these virtues do—or at least ought, according to nature—move most upon the affections of the woman. Hence also it is, that man naturally looks most at a soft and tender disposition of mind, and those virtues and affections which spring from it, such as humility, modesty, purity, chastity. And the affections which he most naturally looks at in her are a sweet and entire confidence and trust, submission and resignation; for when he receives a woman as wife, he receives her as an object of his guardianship and protection, and therefore looks at those qualifications and dispositions which exert themselves in trust and confidence.

Thus it’s against nature for a man to love a woman as wife that is rugged, daring and presumptuous, and trusts to herself, and thinks she is able to protect herself and needs none of her husband’s defense or guidance. And it is impossible a woman should love a man as an husband, except she can confide in him, and sweetly rest in him as a safeguard.

For the reference, see:

Jonathan Edwards on marriage according to nature

Now it is easy to everyone to know that when marriage is according to nature and God’s designation, when a woman is married to an husband she receives him as a guide, as a protector, a safegu…

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[jwithnell]

Do we know how old Jonathan Edwards was he wrote this? The scriptures never change but life can expand your wisdom on a topic. His own wife Sarah -- who had a reputation for great sweetness, charity and Godliness-- took care of virtually all of the practicalities of their household including managing the bit of property for livestock and vegetable growing they had been assigned as part of his compensation. They lived on the fringes of the frontier at Northampton and solidly in the realm of native attack when out at Stockbridge. I can far more easily see Mr. Edwards writing the quoted passage as a young man in a more urban environment; it doesn't ring true to what his life experiences became when a fainting woman would not have been a helpmeet to him.

The quoted passage absolutely has merit -- a huge problem with the "reinvention" of marriage has happened because our society refuses to acknowledge the differences between men and women and the very real dependance we have on each other in a family and society. My sons were barely walking before they started picking up sticks and making loud "bang" noises at the "bad guys." The Edwards would have had historical examples in the colonies like Anne Hutchinson to see the very real danger of women declaring their spiritual independence from the guidance of men in their home and church. There's plenty we can admire in this passage. I think, though, the larger context might be helpful too.

(And if someone shows this passage was written in 1750, I'll gladly put down my computer and pick up the needle for my broderie anglaise sewing for the rest of the evening.)