I'm the Worst Sinner I Know

[Randy in Tulsa]

Having been in the position of the Dad in the OP scenario, I can testify that it is very difficult for some family members and church family members to ever believe that someone who has been exposed for living in a particular sin can repent and truly change. When I confessed my sins to my wife, all of my children, the spouses of my married children, my elders, etc., I knew that God's power had healed and changed me. However, it was clear from things that I heard months later that others didn't believe. And it was not just a matter of more time passing. In a conversation with an elder's wife nearly a year after my "being exposed," I was reminded that another man in church, who had sinned greatly decades earlier, "was a fool then and is still a fool," despite the fact he had repented long ago and had faithfully stayed in the church all those years. There is a great need in the lives of Christians who must deal with the sins of other Christians, including the daughter in the OP and the elder's wife I just mentioned. Jesus not only forgives the “recently unregenerated” sinners; he forgives the “long regenerated” sinners as well. Moreover, Jesus can and does heal and fill penitent sinners with his power to walk in new obedience. The duty of the sinner is to continue in repentance unto life, faith towards Christ, and diligently pursue the means of grace. The duty of the ones "sinned against" or standing on the periphery of the exposed sinner's experience is to do exactly the same things - repent, exercise faith and diligently pursue the means of grace in their own lives. If I were counseling the daughter, I would remind her that true Christians can fall into sin, even a pattern of sin, for a season (see the WCF, 17.3) ; that Christ will always pursue his own; that Christ has the power to forgive and heal and change and enable the sinner to truly repent and walk in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ (WCF 13.3); that we all have sinned (the one point stressed by the counselor); that we all must repent of our sins, continue to express faith in Christ and diligently pursue the means of grace. When we not only acknowledge our sins, but confess and repent them, act in faith towards Christ and pursue the means of grace in our own lives, we will find it easier – no, natural – to truly forgive and love others as Christ intended.

 

[Jerusalem Blade]

Edward, it is true what you say, that much evil has been done by a counsel which blames the victim – no denying that at all. But it also may be true that we do not have enough information on what was given in the OP to make the judgments of the counsellor which I have seen here rendered.

 

[Pergamum]

Having been in the position of the Dad in the OP scenario, I can testify that it is very difficult for some family members and church family members to ever believe that someone who has been exposed for living in a particular sin can repent and truly change. When I confessed my sins to my wife, all of my children, the spouses of my married children, my elders, etc., I knew that God's power had healed and changed me. However, it was clear from things that I heard months later that others didn't believe. And it was not just a matter of more time passing. In a conversation with an elder's wife nearly a year after my "being exposed," I was reminded that another man in church, who had sinned greatly decades earlier, "was a fool then and is still a fool," despite the fact he had repented long ago and had faithfully stayed in the church all those years. There is a great need in the lives of Christians who must deal with the sins of other Christians, including the daughter in the OP and the elder's wife I just mentioned. Jesus not only forgives the “recently unregenerated” sinners; he forgives the “long regenerated” sinners as well. Moreover, Jesus can and does heal and fill penitent sinners with his power to walk in new obedience. The duty of the sinner is to continue in repentance unto life, faith towards Christ, and diligently pursue the means of grace. The duty of the ones "sinned against" or standing on the periphery of the exposed sinner's experience is to do exactly the same things - repent, exercise faith and diligently pursue the means of grace in their own lives. If I were counseling the daughter, I would remind her that true Christians can fall into sin, even a pattern of sin, for a season (see the WCF, 17.3) ; that Christ will always pursue his own; that Christ has the power to forgive and heal and change and enable the sinner to truly repent and walk in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ (WCF 13.3); that we all have sinned (the one point stressed by the counselor); that we all must repent of our sins, continue to express faith in Christ and diligently pursue the means of grace. When we not only acknowledge our sins, but confess and repent them, act in faith towards Christ and pursue the means of grace in our own lives, we will find it easier – no, natural – to truly forgive and love others as Christ intended.

Very encouraging, thanks.

 

[Edward]

Edward, it is true what you say, that much evil has been done by a counsel which blames the victim – no denying that at all. But it also may be true that we do not have enough information on what was given in the OP to make the judgments of the counsellor which I have seen here rendered.

Unless she was an axe murderer, standing over a room full of bodies with blood dripping off the blade, the comment was inappropriate. So to the extent that we treat the absence of a recitation of those facts as a possibility that that might be the case, I'll concede your point that we don't have enough information.