Finding a wife!

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Reformed Covenanter

Reformed Covenanter

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I hope this thread is appropriate, but I was wondering (on average) how difficult is it for a man to find a wife in American Reformed churches? Over here it is virtually impossible - I am 25 and have no hope of getting married in the near future.

:coffee:

:katherineluther:
 
Depending on how spiritually starved the region of the U.S. you are in is, I'd say fair to atrocious chances. In my region (North Texas), right in the heart of DTS-land and the Bible belt, there are a fair number of Presbyterian churches, but very few are strongly confessional. Most Christian women in this area are Arminian Baptist or non-denominational. Other regions may differ, but the Bible Belt isn't necessarily helpful at all.
 
Reformed Baptist Single Conferences are Great and across the country in different regions.....

That is how I met my wife...... ;)



:cheers2:
 
I outsourced, got a Baptist, and we got reformed together. My wife wasn't reformed at all when we met (well, neither was I really), but knew that the theology of our old Baptist church was a bit iffy. Maybe the best approach is to look out not for just reformed women, but women who have a thirst for good, Biblical knowledge.
 
I sometimes have difficulty finding my wife in our own home. I know she's around, but I can't find her. It happens when we're talking while we're each doing things, moving about the house. It's not a problem at church, because either she's got the keys to the car or I do, so neither of us is going anywhere without the other. If we can't find each other, we at least have the comfort of knowing that we can do no worse than be the last ones to leave.
 
One of these days I'm going to start a thread about arranged marriages. It was really interesting talking to a man at Rev. Winzer's Church with 6 beautiful daughters. One of his first questions was: "Do you know any Godly men." He wasn't joking. I also think his question was a legitimate one.
 
Arranged marriages would probably be better than the dating system. Moreover, its worked better than the system in the west, as such couples tend to stay together.

:chained:
 
Made in India!

How about having an Indian ? Where marrieges are mostly arranged. See the girl first in the family, talk to her, write her etc and then if both of you agree, then the family and Pastor okays.

Want to try brother?
 
Stay off the internet and put yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet a godly woman...don't know where that would be for you.

I met my wife in college (a Christian college).

One of our elders has had a Friday night bible study for about 30 years...there have been MANY marriages that came from that...and he met his wife that way as well.

If none of these thoughts spark anything, you can always woo them with talks of theology and your rock-hard abs.
 
You can always do what I did. I met my wife at a good dispensational bible college where most of the women were looking to become pastors wives. You can reform them later once you get hitched. ;)
 
Oh...how could I forget?! The CoB (Church of Bawb) has a matchmaking service. Life made simple. :D
 
Exagorazo said:
I outsourced, got a Baptist, and we got reformed together. My wife wasn't reformed at all when we met (well, neither was I really), but knew that the theology of our old Baptist church was a bit iffy. Maybe the best approach is to look out not for just reformed women, but women who have a thirst for good, Biblical knowledge.
Click to expand...

:ditto:
 
I became born again at 31 and I've been looking for a godly, reformed husband ever since. At my old PCA church we had a singles group and a number of marriages did come out of that but I was older than nearly all of the men and so nothing happened for me. I'm over 40 and I'm still looking, so it's not just men that have a hard time with this.
 
Daniel Ritchie;

Our church offers small group bible studies for singles, one for singles between 18 and 25, and another one for older singles. They meet once a week for the Bible study and then get together at other times for various activities.

Does your church offer anything like that? Or would they consider starting one?

Maybe explain to your pastor how difficult it is meeting women in your area who have the same beliefs as you do, and ask if they would consider starting a small group just for singles, something where not only the men could grow spiritually but the women as well..and it could be used as an outreach for inviting other singles into your congregation.
 
SemperFideles said:
One of these days I'm going to start a thread about arranged marriages. It was really interesting talking to a man at Rev. Winzer's Church with 6 beautiful daughters. One of his first questions was: "Do you know any Godly men." He wasn't joking. I also think his question was a legitimate one.
Click to expand...

What, you mean the Puritan Board doesn't already operate as a marriage arrangement service? I think I joined up on false pretenses.

On a more serious note, another board I post on has had several marriages of people who met on the board. One notable trend has been the number of couples who lived on different continents before they met online, then met IRL and were married. Of course that board has a far more even male:female ratio than this one.
 
Seriously, some of you guys reveal your rose-colored glasses with respect to the landscape assuming everywhere else must be just like where you're located.

America is the most Church nation among developed nation per capita. No other country comes even close. You're probably not catching for Daniel the fact that it is not very easy, where he is from, to find even a nice Baptist girl.

Thus, try to think of advice that can actually be executed on in his situation.

By the way, Daniel, there were two men in one my former congregations that, from the standpoint of the flesh, might never have gotten married because our Church was so small. God ended up providing them wives through two completely different directions but they were both cases where the fathers knew them and approached them from outside the congregation.
 
Daniel,

First of all I think this is an excellent question. I just got married about two months ago and I met my wife at a so called "reformed" mega-church. Some may disagree with this, but I went soley to meet people my age (the church I was a member of at the time had no other singles my age) and to meet a girl. I agree with Bill in that you can reform during and after courtship. My wife came from a Non-denom background with praise choruses and such and now is singing psalms with me and covering her head in worship. To God be all glory. To make it simple, marry "in the Lord" and slowly love them into being reformed...
 
Daniel Ritchie said:
I hope this thread is appropriate, but I was wondering (on average) how difficult is it for a man to find a wife in American Reformed churches? Over here it is virtually impossible - I am 25 and have no hope of getting married in the near future.

:coffee:

:katherineluther:
Click to expand...


You could just post a thread saying " 25yo Reformed male looking for Reformed helpmeet, desperate!"

But on a more serious note, talk to your pastor and see if he can speak to other pastors or elders in the region who may have available young women in their congregations. :2cents:
 
Raj said:
How about having an Indian ? Where marrieges are mostly arranged. See the girl first in the family, talk to her, write her etc and then if both of you agree, then the family and Pastor okays.

Want to try brother?
Click to expand...


Iam from the Netherlands, was 6 months in India, and through the parents of me wife i got in contact with my wife Reena. We got married in Rischikesh (N-India). Praise God for the wonderfull gift of sending me my wondering godfearing and loverly wife and disciple of Jesus Christ!!!!!

Dear Daniel, there are alot of reformed women here in the Netherlands!!!!
 
Daniel Ritchie;

We don't have enough single people to do that, but thanks for the idea.
Click to expand...

Not enough single people in your town at all that you could invite to a Bible study? Or just not in your congregation?

What about surrounding towns?
 
Bobbi

I am not sure an evangelistic Bible study for the purpose of finding a spouse is a good idea.

Ralph

I will have to visit the Netherlands.
 
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