LadyFlynt
Puritan Board Doctor
Okay, I know everyone is thinking, oh no...here she goes on another tangent. I don't want this to be one. I don't want it to be a debate of other defending what they do. I just need some help here.
A friend of ours called last night to ask my hubby some questions. He has known us for years and all those years I have worn dresses/skirts and covered my head.
He is in seminary. Ever since he mentions things in his life to his professors and whatever they say is gospel. Sometimes he works through it and comes out on one side or the other...but at times it is blind insistance.
Well, the subject was on dress. I wasn't on the phone and therefore wasn't allowed to respond for myself...though he says he wants to get together with his wife and myself included.
Anyhow the conversation basically ended up being that he accused my hubby of not defending his stand properly (which is not true and neither did he defend his position well...sounded more accusatory than normal for him), that he and his wife were influenced by us-but because of us have decided not to do as we do (we never asked them, never brought it up, I don't ever push this on someone). He says we are inconsistant....the ONLY inconsistancy he could find though is that though we don't typically swim...we have allowed the children swim lessons at the Y and to swim a couple of times in a close friend's pool in a private backyard. No adults and the children are very young (ie not developed). The reason for the swim lessons were because I was raised that it is a very important skill to be able to swim for safety reasons and sorry but there are no more private Little House on the Prairie creeks to swim in...nor can I afford the expensive neck to ankle plus skirt swimsuits some ultra conservative groups make for their daughters (and sorry, but swimming in coulottes is impractical and can be just as immodest).
My husband never criticized this friend's wife...stating that she does actually dress modest even when not in skirts, but that this is the standard he has set for our family. Also is the issue of men's clothing being different from women's...again a standard we have set (long time ago) for our own family. We have not criticized anyone else for doing differently. In fact, at our last church there were some girls who would come to me to talk (knowing full well that I don't agree with them on the clothing issue) because I was the only one who DIDN'T have some nasty remark to make about their clothing (they'd had anonymous letters...but I was taking into consideration where I was at at their ages and that their doctrine was sound and trusting that the Lord will draw them in that area in his time). Hello, I was a teen too...in blue jeans...and I know what guys thought when I was younger. I just don't want to be a stumbling block and this is what I have chosen.
Don't I have the "Christian Liberty" to do this without being accuse of "legalism"? Legalism is doing something as a means of attaining or maintaing salvation...or taking things to the extreme...I don't dress amish (anymore)...if you were to see me you would just think I was a nicely dressed lady (on a dressy day) or a teacher/homeschool mom in a typical jumper (on a casual day). I wear earrings and sometimes a little makeup (I even sell makeup!). And isn't our "Christian Liberty" the Liberty to do what HE would have us to...not to intentionally do otherwise?
Okay...thanks for letting me vent (I'm just a little bit hurt over this)...feel free to help out in how to handle this and where ever he may be coming from.
[Edited on 6-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]
[Edited on 6-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]
A friend of ours called last night to ask my hubby some questions. He has known us for years and all those years I have worn dresses/skirts and covered my head.
He is in seminary. Ever since he mentions things in his life to his professors and whatever they say is gospel. Sometimes he works through it and comes out on one side or the other...but at times it is blind insistance.
Well, the subject was on dress. I wasn't on the phone and therefore wasn't allowed to respond for myself...though he says he wants to get together with his wife and myself included.
Anyhow the conversation basically ended up being that he accused my hubby of not defending his stand properly (which is not true and neither did he defend his position well...sounded more accusatory than normal for him), that he and his wife were influenced by us-but because of us have decided not to do as we do (we never asked them, never brought it up, I don't ever push this on someone). He says we are inconsistant....the ONLY inconsistancy he could find though is that though we don't typically swim...we have allowed the children swim lessons at the Y and to swim a couple of times in a close friend's pool in a private backyard. No adults and the children are very young (ie not developed). The reason for the swim lessons were because I was raised that it is a very important skill to be able to swim for safety reasons and sorry but there are no more private Little House on the Prairie creeks to swim in...nor can I afford the expensive neck to ankle plus skirt swimsuits some ultra conservative groups make for their daughters (and sorry, but swimming in coulottes is impractical and can be just as immodest).
My husband never criticized this friend's wife...stating that she does actually dress modest even when not in skirts, but that this is the standard he has set for our family. Also is the issue of men's clothing being different from women's...again a standard we have set (long time ago) for our own family. We have not criticized anyone else for doing differently. In fact, at our last church there were some girls who would come to me to talk (knowing full well that I don't agree with them on the clothing issue) because I was the only one who DIDN'T have some nasty remark to make about their clothing (they'd had anonymous letters...but I was taking into consideration where I was at at their ages and that their doctrine was sound and trusting that the Lord will draw them in that area in his time). Hello, I was a teen too...in blue jeans...and I know what guys thought when I was younger. I just don't want to be a stumbling block and this is what I have chosen.
Don't I have the "Christian Liberty" to do this without being accuse of "legalism"? Legalism is doing something as a means of attaining or maintaing salvation...or taking things to the extreme...I don't dress amish (anymore)...if you were to see me you would just think I was a nicely dressed lady (on a dressy day) or a teacher/homeschool mom in a typical jumper (on a casual day). I wear earrings and sometimes a little makeup (I even sell makeup!). And isn't our "Christian Liberty" the Liberty to do what HE would have us to...not to intentionally do otherwise?
Okay...thanks for letting me vent (I'm just a little bit hurt over this)...feel free to help out in how to handle this and where ever he may be coming from.
[Edited on 6-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]
[Edited on 6-2-2005 by LadyFlynt]