I'm not one to get into long disputes about words as long as, conceptually, the ideas are preserved so we're good to go. I fully agree that there are erroneous views of even how synergism works in our sanctification as if it's a "We do our part and then God will do His." In fact, this is the Purpose Driven Life model of sanctification. It implies that a blessing yet awaits a Christian if he will merely perform the deeds that please God. It seems to start out OK emphasizing that we're saved by Grace but, in fact, it ends up undermining the Gospel because it undermines the fact that our works flow from our vital union with Christ. Union with Christ is not achieved by the works but rather the other way around and is an electing grace. Surely, we work with fear and trembling but the reason we even fear and tremble is a work of grace itself. Thus, I agree with your general idea but still maintaining that it's appropriate to call it synergism because, categorically, we normally reserve the idea of monergism to initial birth as our capacity prior to that new birth makes our cooperation with God impossible.
As for your second interaction with Stephen, I think Paul's admonition to us is that those who are in Christ are, in point of fact, freed from bondage to sin. We do not have to sin. He qualifies to point out in Romans 7 that we still do sin because of this war in our members but that a Christian who has been made a slave of Christ is being consistent with his new nature when he obeys and inconsistent with his status as a Christian when he sins. Thus, the call to the Christian when he sins from Paul is not "You've fallen away and now pick yourself back up so that you can become a Christian again..." like some Arminian notions that agree with the RCC that our sins somehow kill infused grace. No. Paul is saying that You're still a Christian when you sin but, remember, you're God's son, you are united to Christ, you are being inconsistent with your nature. You do not have to sin.
This is an important category to remember because it's sort of like Paul is reminding us the same way we'd be reminded in a normal family. It's not as if I tell my son when he disobeys: "You've fallen away now from being my son. Perform acts of contrition and then when you've earned your way back into my favor I'll call you a son again."
Heaven forbid!
Instead, I remind my boy that L.'s don't act that way. You are my son. You are being inconsistent with what it means to be a L.. Time for some discipline but, after we're through, the hands that loved you enough to discipline you for your disobedience are the same arms that embrace you by the man that will always be your father. How much more profound is it, then, that our heavenly Father loves us with an everlasting love?!
To summarize the error of the modern evangelical view, I'll quote a portion of my teaching on 1 Peter where I actually referred to the Romans 7 passage to make a point. You can find the full text here: A Ready Hope (1 Peter 3:13-17) | SoliDeoGloria.com
As for your second interaction with Stephen, I think Paul's admonition to us is that those who are in Christ are, in point of fact, freed from bondage to sin. We do not have to sin. He qualifies to point out in Romans 7 that we still do sin because of this war in our members but that a Christian who has been made a slave of Christ is being consistent with his new nature when he obeys and inconsistent with his status as a Christian when he sins. Thus, the call to the Christian when he sins from Paul is not "You've fallen away and now pick yourself back up so that you can become a Christian again..." like some Arminian notions that agree with the RCC that our sins somehow kill infused grace. No. Paul is saying that You're still a Christian when you sin but, remember, you're God's son, you are united to Christ, you are being inconsistent with your nature. You do not have to sin.
This is an important category to remember because it's sort of like Paul is reminding us the same way we'd be reminded in a normal family. It's not as if I tell my son when he disobeys: "You've fallen away now from being my son. Perform acts of contrition and then when you've earned your way back into my favor I'll call you a son again."
Heaven forbid!
Instead, I remind my boy that L.'s don't act that way. You are my son. You are being inconsistent with what it means to be a L.. Time for some discipline but, after we're through, the hands that loved you enough to discipline you for your disobedience are the same arms that embrace you by the man that will always be your father. How much more profound is it, then, that our heavenly Father loves us with an everlasting love?!
To summarize the error of the modern evangelical view, I'll quote a portion of my teaching on 1 Peter where I actually referred to the Romans 7 passage to make a point. You can find the full text here: A Ready Hope (1 Peter 3:13-17) | SoliDeoGloria.com
Beloved, our hope is not that we have hope. Our hope is not that we have faith. Our hope is not that we once we were sad but now we’re glad. Our hope is much more meaningful. The hope that we’re commanded to share points to something beyond ourselves. Our hope makes a claim on men’s lives that they have to pay attention to. If Christianity is just something that made my life nice then that’s good for Rich but what difference does that make to Steve Jones? Works for Rich, he might say. But, what if our hope was not in ourselves but was fixed upon something else?
But wait, Rich, this is what we’ve grown up with. You can’t be serious. I mean, come on, who doesn’t love stories of men who were heroin addicts and they prayed to God for deliverance and, Presto!, they never craved the drug again? What about the alcoholic that prayed to God and, Glory!, they instantly hated alcohol and never craved a drink again in their lives? We love those stories. We want to parade them out as our Gospel “superstars”. Look how powerful the Gospel is because they’re happy now and delivered from sin and misery!
What about those stories, though? What about the thousands of others that have prayed to God for instant delivery from addiction after becoming a Christian and the delivery isn’t instant? What about the man that struggles with the same sin regularly and cannot conquer it and cries out to God that he doesn’t want to sin that way anymore? I thought the Gospel was supposed to be about how happy I am so why isn’t this working for me?! Why do I still struggle with my sin? But the majority of Christians have left such men in their misery and passed them by and run to these “superstars” and say: “This is the Gospel. Happiness. Health. Victory.”
But, oh, what about the poor sinner? Nobody goes to the Scriptures any more and hears Paul crying out in agony:
Romans 7:18-24
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Paul had a Gospel answer to that question. Paul had a hope that didn’t point to himself. Paul didn’t answer that question by thinking of Peter or Elijah or some other hero who lived a good life and got good things that came. Paul, one of the greatest evangelists that ever lived, knew that his hope was fixed on something more firm. Remember, beloved, that Paul prayed three times to be delivered from an affliction of the flesh and the answer from the Lord was “my grace is sufficient for you.” Do we have a hope that can trust in that answer?
Years ago there was a prominent man that was brought to all the typical large Evangelical meetings. His testimony was all about how perfect his life was now. He had once been a practicing homosexual. He was miserable in that life but, one day, he “found Christ” and prayed that he would be delivered from his sin. Now he was a happy man with a beautiful wife and children. As usual, he was brought around like a display of what Christianity offers.
The only problem is that men make for bad objects of faith. Because they’re not God, they end up disappointing those that place their trust in their lives. The man ended up falling greatly, left his wife, and went back into his homosexual lifestyle. The Evangelical community didn’t have much use for him then. Their object of hope had failed so they had to find another superstar to place on a pedestal.
Why is it we need to hear from sports figures or from the Power Team how happy Christ makes them? Maybe, just maybe, some of that will rub off on us and we can be super-successful too. Maybe our hope is that we’ll get everything good in life.
But, beloved, this is not the hope that Peter is talking about. Life is not going to give you everything you want and when you go placing your hope in how you or others have been changed then you will always be disappointed and you will never have any real testimony to share.