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"If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that."
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
"If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny."
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."
"I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute TO THE PLANE ITSELF! Is anyone listening to me?!"