Advice on Dating as a Single Pastoral Intern

[Adam GB]

Hey all, looking for some helpful brotherly advice.

I am 23 years old, and a pastoral intern at a fairly large church. I am single, and desirous to pursue marriage, however, I have found doing so while in pastoral ministry somewhat difficult. I do not believe it is wise to pursue a relationship with a woman at my church since I am on the pastoral team, and it is hard to regularly engage with other Christian communities, since I am quite busy between school and church work.

I'm looking for some advice on how to pursue marriage while in my situation. Is it appropriate/wise for someone in pastoral ministry to use a Christian dating app? Has someone in my situation before dated within his own church, and if so, how did that pan out? How should one go about pastoral ministry while single?

I expect to enter into full-time pastoral ministry in the near future, and I am worried to do this as a single man, as single pastors are a rarity and are often looked upon with suspicion or judgment (in my experience). Is this the case in your experiences? I've also found that many girls aren't interested in dating pastors - permanently being in your church's public eye, enduring poor finances, and having an overworked spouse aren't appealing to most. Sorry if I sound a bit doom and gloom! But this has been a discouraging season.

Any advice you have is appreciated, and if anyone has entered into pastoral ministry while single and then married later on, I'd love to hear your testimony.

Thanks all and God bless!

 

[Sovereign Grace]

Pray, pray, pray. I’d be leery of dating sites as ppl can say they’re christian when they are not.

 

[Polanus1561]

Regional conferences.

 

[CovenantPatriot87]

Pray, pray, pray. I’d be leery of dating sites as ppl can say they’re christian when they are not.

That's anywhere really.

 

[Edward]

I’d be leery of dating sites as ppl can say they’re christian when they are not.

Well, that can happen at church as well.

First place to look would be to see if wives of classmates could set you up with their still single friends. That way each of you would at least have references. I would expect things might be more difficult there than they would be in the Bible belt.

 

[ZackF]

You are off to a good start by *not* asking about dating as a married pastoral intern.

Congratulations on your call to the ministry.

 

[jwithnell]

I attended the wedding of a lovely, godly couple in September. They had met on a dating site and are both now members at my church. (I've known the groom since he was two.)

Long enough ago that it was pretty weird, my husband and I met online. I was in Alaska. My beau was a widower in Virginia. There's no way we'd have run into each other.

Yes, you have to be careful, we both had a lot at stake, but this way of meeting has advantages. I recall it could take a while trying to figure out if a person of interest was even single, was solid in his faith, even looking for a relationship, could possibly be interested in me ... At least you are passed many of these questuons on a dating site. In reformed circles we have a bit of an advantage because anybody can spout off general "spiritual" phrases. It's harder trying to pretend you have a genuine interest in the Westminster Confession.

May God bless you in your search, but please don't let youthfulness or marital status dissuade you from ministry.