Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road ?

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by BlackCalvinist, Oct 7, 2005.

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  1. Peter

    Peter Puritan Board Junior

    Great thread Kerry.
  2. PuritanCovenanter

    PuritanCovenanter Moderator Staff Member

  3. Average Joey

    Average Joey Puritan Board Junior

    :ditto: This was great!
  4. Me Died Blue

    Me Died Blue Puritan Board Post-Graduate

  5. gwine

    gwine Puritan Board Sophomore

    Actually if it doesn't put forth enough effort (since God can't do it all) it might not get across. :lol:

    Which one is it gonna be? Whiiiiich one?
  6. Me Died Blue

    Me Died Blue Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    Southern Baptist: So it could be fried for the potluck!
  7. BlackCalvinist

    BlackCalvinist Puritan Board Senior

    Hey, I just started it. You guys have added all the funny ones. :banana:

    You know this is going to be a blog entry, right ?
  8. Anton Bruckner

    Anton Bruckner Puritan Board Professor

    The above is genius HAHAHAHHAHEHEHEHALOL:lol::lol: Ross Perot's voice is ringing in my ears saying the above HAHHHEHEHA
  9. Average Joey

    Average Joey Puritan Board Junior

  10. turmeric

    turmeric Megerator

    Bill Clinton; It all depends on what you mean by "chicken" "cross" and "road".
  11. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    John Kerry: To get his medal of honor for his service in Vietnam!
  12. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    Jean Chretien: Dat is de, uh, collect the GST chicken?
  13. Me Died Blue

    Me Died Blue Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    I think even more relevant is the question of what you mean by "the."
  14. Poimen

    Poimen Puritan Board Post-Graduate

    Don King: The chicken had the multitude of infinitude in all Republican righteousness to pursue the punctiliaristic purchasing of a higher life!
  15. turmeric

    turmeric Megerator

    That's true - and since I was trying to parody R.C. Sproul earlier, could someone please correct my Latin? I don't know it and spent WAY too much time on the net yesterday trying to figure out how to say it. Barbarian language issues!
  16. gwine

    gwine Puritan Board Sophomore

    Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

    To get to the same side. (credit: Tom Gregg)

    ooooooookaaaaay How about this one?

    When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle. Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident. "I really can't remember," the snail replied. "You see, it all happened so fast."

    I'll stop.
  17. Anton Bruckner

    Anton Bruckner Puritan Board Professor

    :D:bigsmile::lol: you should have added, " and tune in tonight on pay per view, only $49.95 to see the chicken cross the road :cool:


    [Edited on 10-9-2005 by Slippery]
  18. turmeric

    turmeric Megerator

    Who is Don King?
  19. alwaysreforming

    alwaysreforming Puritan Board Sophomore

    Thanks for your discernment, my brother! I was hoping to get a few kudos but you're the only one who came through for me. I guess the others just weren't doing the voice right!

  20. Anton Bruckner

    Anton Bruckner Puritan Board Professor

    you can't be serious hehehehe. Don King is a boxing promoter known for his outlandish verbose statements, lawsuits, eccentric personality and vindictive business dealings.

    He nearly bankrupted Zaire hosting the Ali-Foreman fight, and is said to have swindled Mike Tyson and other boxers out of millions.

    Surely didn't you see him stumping for Bush on CNN during last year's election? :D He claims to be a Republicrat :D

    Don King
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
    Don King.
    Don King.

    Don King (born December 9, 1932), is a flamboyant American boxing promoter.

    He gained fame in 1974 by sponsoring the boxing match between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman in Zaire, popularly known as "The Rumble in the Jungle." He consolidated his position as an influential promoter the next year by sponsoring a third match for Ali against Joe Frazier in Manila, the capital of the Philippines, which King named the "Thrilla In Manila."

    Prior to entering the world of boxing, King was a numbers racketeer in Cleveland, Ohio. In 1954, King shot and killed a man attempting to rob one of his gambling houses; the death was ruled a "justifiable homicide," despite the fact that King had shot him in the back. In 1966, King was convicted of stomping to death an employee who owed him six hundred dollars. Although he then embarked on a campaign of hush money payments and witness intimidation, he was convicted of second degree murder and given a life sentence. The judge reduced the conviction to nonnegligent manslaughter. Some found this ruling suspicious, as it was made during a private meeting with King's attorney in the judge's chambers, without the presence of the prosecutor or a court stenographer. King has been investigated for possible connections with organized crime. During a 1992 Senate investigation King took the Fifth Amendment when questioned about his connection to mobster John Gotti. He has responded to these acts by calling them racist.

    Apart from Ali, Frazier and Foreman, he has promoted such boxers as Evander Holyfield, Félix Trinidad, Mike Tyson, Larry Holmes, Carlos De Leon, Wilfredo Benitez, Wilfredo Gomez, Roberto Duran, Julio Cesar Chavez, Juan Laporte, Edwin Rosario, Salvador Sanchez, John Ruiz, Hector Camacho, Christy Martin, Aaron Pryor, Alexis Arguello, Oscar de la Hoya, and many others.

    In May 2003, King was sued by Lennox Lewis, who wants 385 million dollars from the promoter, claiming King used threats to pull Tyson away from a rematch with Lewis. This is one of several lawsuits King has gone through.

    Don King is well-known for his eccentric behavior and outlandish style. His catchphrase is "Only in America!" He has a rather unusual hairstyle, and is fond of wearing loud, brightly colored clothing and lots of jewelry. He is also a very grandiose public speaker.

    In 2004, Don King became increasingly active in the re-election campaign of George W. Bush. Although a Democrat, King actively supported George W. Bush's re-election. He was at the 2004 Republican Convention and gave many media interviews.

    [Edited on 10-9-2005 by Slippery]
  21. Michael Butterfield

    Michael Butterfield Puritan Board Freshman

    Institutes 1.14.1 [p.1:160]
  22. PuritanCovenanter

    PuritanCovenanter Moderator Staff Member

    This is why the chicken crossed the road.

    Without a gun I would run.

    [Edited on 10-9-2005 by puritancovenanter]
  23. pastorway

    pastorway Puritan Board Senior

    If the teeth don't fit we must acquit.....

    (do chicken even have teeth??)
  24. pastorway

    pastorway Puritan Board Senior

    by the Way, a specific chicken named Mike was known to cross the road frequently looking for HIS HEAD!!


    Mike the Headless Chicken

    [Edited on 10-9-05 by pastorway]
  25. Ravens

    Ravens Puritan Board Sophomore

    John Kerry: The chicken was just changing positions. Sometimes its easier that way.

    George Bush: Well, heh, I could build a fence to keep all those chickens out, but chances are I'd lose the poultry vote.

    Bill Clinton: If its my kind of chicken, it's lookin' for a hefty Polish hen.

    Baseball Players Union: We're aware that the instances of underage road-crossing has been escalating in the avian population, and that's why we're proposing a hard-as-nails, tough, 57-Strikes and You're Out plan when it comes to road crossing. And after the 57th strike, the chicken gets a special hearing with the commissioner to see whether it really has to leave the barn.

    Terrell Owens: T.O. doesn't know about chickens, T.O. knows football. T.O. plays football. T.O. is football, and T.O. needs to be paid for football. I'm T.O. Have you noticed I'm T.O.? I'm Terrell Owens. I'm so lucky to be me. Don't you wish you were T.O.?

    Open Theist: Well I don't know, but my guess is as good as G**'s. (Couldn't figure out whether that was inappropriate or not, sorry if it was).

    Mormon: Oh it was just looking for the "other coup" that it mentioned while it was still with us? Here, read this book to find out all about it. Did we mention that we had strong family values, a good choir, and very shiny teeth?

    Ozzy Osbourne: Uh-uh-h, n-hun, na na, Sharon, S-s-sharon, uh, u-u-u-u-uh, mmmmm, ma na , chicken, uh, Sharon, ma-na-u-ma-mu-nah, uhhhhhh, uh, chicken."

    Ralph Nader:

    Oh sorry. I don't remember what he said. Does anyone ever really listen to him anyway?
  26. Ravens

    Ravens Puritan Board Sophomore

    ESPN College Gameday announcers: Well, we're not entirely sure, but I'm sure there's something about this scenario that will serve as a segue into us talking about USC and Notre Dame, to the exclusion of every other team, state, and topic, for the rest of the show. :mad:
  27. WrittenFromUtopia

    WrittenFromUtopia Puritan Board Graduate

    Is there anything more important this year in College Football history than the outcome of this game? No.
  28. Anton Bruckner

    Anton Bruckner Puritan Board Professor

  29. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    It's sad when a chicken thread can go on for 3 (+?) pages...

  30. PuritanCovenanter

    PuritanCovenanter Moderator Staff Member

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