Ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated?

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by Brother John, Mar 6, 2009.

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  1. Brother John

    Brother John Puritan Board Sophomore

    I am looking for suggestions on special things I can do for my wife to make her feel appreciated and loved. When we first married I always went out of my way to do little things that my wife appreciated. I will admit that I have slipped in my duties. Six years, two boys, work, etc... Men please let me know what yall have done and ladies let me know what your husbands have done for you. I would really like to here from the ladies. What can we husbands do for our wives that will show our love and appreciation?
  2. Marrow Man

    Marrow Man Drunk with Powder

    One I had to find out the hard way -- turn off the TV while she is talking to you! This is especially effective if sports are on!
  3. Brother John

    Brother John Puritan Board Sophomore

    That is true :lol:

    We don't have cable or satilite. But I have gotten some flack from reading and the PB.
  4. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    Ruben is kind and patient every day.

    For instance one evening recently I didn't do a very good job making dinner (readjusting to an electric stove from a gas skillet) and asked him about his meal (I knew it was an abomination). He smiled happily and said, "Well the chicken is burned, the peas are crunchy, and the potatoes are smushy. But here I sit, eating it all, because I love you."

    Maybe you can't always say something so perfectly charming, but that sort of happy gentleness and patience daily mean more than any special occasion thing to me.
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  5. Marrow Man

    Marrow Man Drunk with Powder

    I was a bachelor for 33 years, so I learned to cook and clean and all that long before I met her. But have you tried cooking a meal for her sometime? Also, set the table and clean up afterward. That would let her know you think she is special.

    And here's a suggestion (not one that I've followed personally though!); perhaps taking the time to write her a long love letter (and I mean hand write, not type) would be good. Godly men of old did that to their loves.

    Back when I was wooing her, I memorized poems and recited those to her. In particular, I memorized Bobby Burns' "O My Love Is Like a Red, Red Rose" (she's Scottish, remember!). Perhaps you can do that!
  6. Knoxienne

    Knoxienne Puritan Board Graduate

    Cleaning up the kitchen after dinner if she's too tired or not feeling well.

    Fixing things(or arranging them to get fixed) around the house

    Dates - even going out to for a hamburger or ice cream for an hour or so is nice.

    Buying little items she likes at the store without her asking (favorite cocoas, coffee, coffee creamers, fruit, cheese, snacks, candy bars, a book or video she's been wanting, etc)

    When we have guests, Bill will often make the main dish so that all I have to do is pick up the house a bit and throw a quick dessert together.

    Sometimes I'll be emptying the dishwasher and Bill will help me while we have a little conversation about our day.

    If a child or other family member is calling, "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM or whatever" and you're home and it's something you can take care of, tell them Mom is busy and take care of the problem.

    Tell your wife to invite some lady friends over for coffee and snacks and serve them the coffee and the snacks while they visit.

    Carry in the groceries or other storebought goods for her and help her put them away.

    Don't just tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only woman in the world.
  7. Jimmy the Greek

    Jimmy the Greek Puritan Board Senior

    I am worried that you have to ask...

    You know her better than we do. You said you "used to do little things". Do them again.

    All I can say after 43 years with my sweetheart, is it's not what you buy her that makes a difference.
  8. Kim G

    Kim G Puritan Board Junior

    My dear husband has been doing this all too often recently since I've been sick with our first pregnancy. He cooks dinner and cleans it up himself. It's such a blessing.

    May I recommend McDonalds? Yes, I know.:rolleyes: But I hadn't been to one in years, and the ones near us all look like a nice coffee house inside. We were the only ones in the restaurant and enjoyed dessert off the dollar menu. :drool:

    My husband always says I'm the most beautiful women in the universe, just in case there are any astronauts or aliens who aren't in the world at the moment. :lol:
  9. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    Maybe I'm an alien! --if R told me I was the most beautiful woman on earth I would wonder what was wrong with his eyes :). I know he prefers me, even way I look, to any woman on earth, and that matters far more to me. I think women probably do vary in this and other specifics: as Gomarus says, you know your own wife best.
  10. Scottish Lass

    Scottish Lass Puritan Board Doctor

    Any extra chore around the house is always appreciated. Tim brings me a treat if he's near a coffee house or sweet shop I like. Remind her how beautiful you think she is--actually tell her out loud (or on paper) that she's a good wife, mother, etc. This goes for both sides--often we think/assume the other person knows we feel that way, but we need to say it.
  11. lynnie

    lynnie Puritan Board Senior

    Ask her what will bless her most. It will probably the the last thing in the world you want to do or initiate.

    Dan Allender has a funny story about this. He mustered up the grace to ask his wife what change she most wanted to see, and mentally prepared himself for a whole list of things he thought she might say, and was prepared to do them all. So she says that what bothers her the most and what she really wants to see changed is for him to witness to their (regular contact) neighbors. It was the absolute last thing in the world he wanted to do, and here she was with this heavy burden for them, all alone.

    We've had some big conflict over the years where hub looked at all he does (and it is a lot, and very sacrificial) and felt like I was ungrateful, but I felt like the one thing I wanted most was more praying together, and him taking the lead in it at home, especially prayer for the kids (at the time he was just great at church, but alone with me he'd slack off). Its almost 30 years now and I am happy with things now, but it wasn't always so.

    So ask your wife what matters the most. And do it!
  12. Marrow Man

    Marrow Man Drunk with Powder

    But Heidi, you get to be married to The Batman!
  13. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    And I get to ride in the Batmobile. In case you were wondering, we've had it painted gold to blend with traffic and it has a sunroof and remote keyless entry.
  14. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    There is a little book that has pictures of a husband vacuuming the floor, doing dishes, buying flowers, cooking supper, changing the baby's diaper, etc....and this is so true. What chore is the one your wife feels the most buried under and that is where my husband would start for me.

    Bring her a treat. Something little, something she loves.

    And simply telling her regularly how much you both love and APPRECIATE her and everything she does. How you got the best when you got her ;)
  15. BG

    BG Puritan Board Junior

  16. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Good ideas. I should try them sometime...

    Yer the Purdiest of all the girls in the multiverse! (of course, there is only one girl, too.)

  17. Marrow Man

    Marrow Man Drunk with Powder

    But the most important question of all Heidi, is this: "Does he have Bruce Wayne's money?" ;)
  18. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    *waits around to see how long it takes Reuben to buy Heidi a chinchilla*

  19. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    hmmm . . . that is the corker.
  20. Knoxienne

    Knoxienne Puritan Board Graduate


  21. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

  22. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Good highlight- ya gotta know what she loves, of course. Hmmm... where can I find a box set of some sappy '80's sitcom DVD real quick...

  23. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    Give her the gift of Hulu.
  24. tdowns

    tdowns Puritan Board Junior

    Squeeze play.

    I always recommend, "A squeeze play a day."

    With kids, and life, days can be crazy, so, I tell people and myself, to at least once a day, go in for the squeeze play; a long hug, with eye contact, an "I love you" and kiss.

    Seems simple, but, I think many miss it and days go by without it.
  25. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Good call. Every day, when I get home from work, the first thing I do is give her a very long hug, which is finished when I sigh the word, 'HOME!'.

  26. tdowns

    tdowns Puritan Board Junior


  27. LadyFlynt

    LadyFlynt Puritan Board Doctor

    And my husband doesn't leave the house, ever, without kissing me goodbye. Little routines like that are very important. It's like a special language just for you two.
  28. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    Dear Marrow Man,

    I have gone through the lining of all the coat pockets and can't find Bruce Wayne's money. I did discover about seven dollars in quarters in a milk glass bowl. I think he left it for the laundry . . .
  29. Marrow Man

    Marrow Man Drunk with Powder

    I'm guessing someone's been robin you.
  30. a mere housewife

    a mere housewife Not your cup of tea

    You're such a joker.
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