Top Fifteen Signs Your Sermon Isn't Going Well

Status
Not open for further replies.

Andres

Puritan Board Doctor
From the blog, "Don't Stop Believing", Mike Wittmer lists the Top Fifteen Signs Your Sermon Isn’t Going Well:

15. Your associate pastor is warming up in the bullpen.

14. The praise band begins playing you off the stage.

13. You are using PowerPoint.

12. When asked to read from the King James Version, you involuntarily blush every time you say the word “ass.”

11. The congregation is filling in the blanks of your outline before you get there.
10. You think the lyrics to a bluegrass song are really connecting with your audience.

9. When you pause for dramatic effect, several people giggle.

8. Your cell phone starts ringing, and you answer it.

7. The person signing for the deaf just pulled on mittens.

6. When the children are dismissed to junior church, most of their parents go, too.

5. Your sermon took shape over a glass of wine and volume three of Left Behind.

4. Your interpreter just rolled his eyes and put your last statement in quotation marks.

3. Desperate mothers are pinching their babies.

2. The ushers are handing out refunds.

1. You began your sermon with “Top 10 signs your sermon isn’t going well.”
 
I can just see some of the mothers at my old church doing 3. :lol:
 
Last edited:
4 is pretty funny too, when you've actually seen it happen before! :p When I was learning ASL at my old arminian baptist church, I knew that if I ever ended up interpreting, I would probably have to sign my own sermon - The pastor would never have known! :lol:
 
When you say to your congregation, "I may not be the best speaker..." and before you can finish, a volley of AMENS meet your statement.
 
#11! HA! Because if you have ever sat through a 'Purpose Driven' sermon you know it's true.

Jesus Christ is the _______ of God.

God so loved the __________ He gave His only begotten Son.

God has a ________________ for your life.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top