ZackF
Puritan Board Professor
I appreciate what Jacob does with all of the reviews. It was time I give back.
I've been going through this situational awareness, conflict management, deescalation and self-defense kick lately. I came across, again, a 1997 book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker being positively reference by another book that I've been reading called "Can I See Your Hands" by Gavriel Schneider. Schneider's book will be reviewed at another time. I finally read 'The Gift of Fear' after having kicked around doing so for decades.
The book weaves a grisly narrative throughout the book of a women escaping a rapist after he had violated but not yet killed her (like other victims). De Becker uses several more cases to build a toolbox of strategies for preventing, stopping and escaping violence.
The taxonomy of offenses covered range from repeated unwanted attention all the way to murder. A large part of de Becker's contentions are that humans, particularly women, often have 'hunches' or 'hang-ups' early on in an encounter that later goes bad. People have PINs (Pre Incident Indicators). For example, a woman's intuition will tell her that a stranger is a bit off and she'll refuse his offer to help her upstairs with the groceries. However, she'll relent when he smiles and continues a bit of passive/aggressive tacky chivalry like 'don't be the type of woman who won't take any help. We all need it?' In the most tragic cases once the woman is isolated rape and/or murder occur.
In another case the victims were a business owning couple who had the misfortune of attracting a clingy, annoying and eventually threatening man. They had to have professional intervention to get him out of their life.
Other case studies were examined. Some ended horrifically with victim's deaths. Others not as bad.
This book is aging and needs to be fully revised but worth reading anyway. Even a recent Kindle (at this time free with KindleUnlimited) update has left the book with minimal information about social media. Also, much has been written in the area of emotional intelligence since the original. He has Goleman's 1995 book listed in the recommendations but there has been much published on the subject since then. It goes without saying many here will disapprove of some of the author's social analysis and recommendations on gun control.
I've been going through this situational awareness, conflict management, deescalation and self-defense kick lately. I came across, again, a 1997 book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker being positively reference by another book that I've been reading called "Can I See Your Hands" by Gavriel Schneider. Schneider's book will be reviewed at another time. I finally read 'The Gift of Fear' after having kicked around doing so for decades.
The book weaves a grisly narrative throughout the book of a women escaping a rapist after he had violated but not yet killed her (like other victims). De Becker uses several more cases to build a toolbox of strategies for preventing, stopping and escaping violence.
The taxonomy of offenses covered range from repeated unwanted attention all the way to murder. A large part of de Becker's contentions are that humans, particularly women, often have 'hunches' or 'hang-ups' early on in an encounter that later goes bad. People have PINs (Pre Incident Indicators). For example, a woman's intuition will tell her that a stranger is a bit off and she'll refuse his offer to help her upstairs with the groceries. However, she'll relent when he smiles and continues a bit of passive/aggressive tacky chivalry like 'don't be the type of woman who won't take any help. We all need it?' In the most tragic cases once the woman is isolated rape and/or murder occur.
In another case the victims were a business owning couple who had the misfortune of attracting a clingy, annoying and eventually threatening man. They had to have professional intervention to get him out of their life.
Other case studies were examined. Some ended horrifically with victim's deaths. Others not as bad.
This book is aging and needs to be fully revised but worth reading anyway. Even a recent Kindle (at this time free with KindleUnlimited) update has left the book with minimal information about social media. Also, much has been written in the area of emotional intelligence since the original. He has Goleman's 1995 book listed in the recommendations but there has been much published on the subject since then. It goes without saying many here will disapprove of some of the author's social analysis and recommendations on gun control.
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