The Christlike Husband

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Puritan Board Freshman
I am 29 days away from my wedding day. My bride and I met while teaching missionary children in Kyiv, Ukraine. Though raised Southern Baptist, I was convinced of the reformed standards while in college in 2009 and have been part of the URCNA ever since. My bride is a Southern Baptist but I have had the distinct joy of leading her through the Heidelberg catechism during our meals on the Lord's Day. (We had the baptism discussion early on and she is on board with covenant baptism.)

In preparation for our marriage, I am rereading Gouge's The Christlike Husband and journaling my reflections on the material in order to present her a completed book on the eve of our wedding.

My pastor worked through Brian Chapell's Each for the Other in our premarital. We have had a lot of really marvelous conversations about our hopes, fears, struggles, and strengths leading up to our marriage. We have committed to pulling back from our extracurricular activities at school to devote that time to each other and our marriage.

So, men and women of the board, I have two things to ask of you:
  1. If you have read Gouge's work, what elements of his work have proven most challenging for you in lovingly leading your wife?
  2. What patterns or habits did you set in your first year of marriage that continue to serve you and your spouse well as the years pass by?

Jack K

Puritan Board Professor
A regular date night. After attending church, it's the first thing that gets put on the calendar. It might get canceled or changed on occasion, when other activities or commitments come up, but in general we avoid making other commitments on date night because we already have something on the schedule.


Puritan Board Graduate
This summer will be 40 years for us.

What I think matters to me the most is praying together. You need to take the initiative to pray with her during her struggles or your own struggles. It is easy to talk and vent and discuss things without actually taking them to the Lord together.

Interestingly, Bethan Lloyd- Jones said during her widowhood that what she missed the most was the prayer times with Martyn.

May the Lord greatly bless your marriage!
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