The Arminian Prayer

[Me Died Blue]

The Arminian Prayer by Joe Garnett
Joe Garnett
Jun 30, 2002

The Arminian Prayer
by Joe Garnett

It appears to me that those who adhere to Arminianism pray Calvinistic prayers. This is most assuredly not proper. Thus I have constructed a prayer for Arminians that is in line with their theology. It is most important that one give thanks unto him that is due thanksgiving.

God, I thank you that You provided salvation for every person and that everyone has the equal opportunity to that salvation. And I thank You for my salvation. Actually, I thank me some for my salvation because You gave us all the freedom to choose. Yes, God, every man You gave the freedom to choose or reject You. I chose You and I'm sure You're happy that I did.

After You provided salvation for everybody it is good that somebody responds to it. I responded to it and I thank You. Well, really, it was my choice so I don't thank You for my response. I'm sure You're grateful to me that I responded. If I and some others had not chosen to respond You would not have any children and that would be too bad. So I know that You're delighted with those of us that had the good sense to do what is right, to love You and choose You.

Everybody could have chosen You, but I'm the one who did. It is just too bad that those other people were not as clever as I am. God, I'm sure You're disappointed in them. But don't take it too hard. You still have us that had the brains to appropriate Your salvation. God, I'm obliged for Your part in my salvation. And though You have never said so, I'm sure You are appreciative to me for my part as well. There is no doubt that when I get to heaven You will let me know how grateful You are. We've worked this out together for our mutual benefit. I thank You and You thank me. How nice.

We are a real team.

And God, I especially thank You that I am not like those self-righteous Calvinist. Well, actually, You didn't have anything to do with that so I don't thank You. It was my choice to believe what I believe so I'm sure You are happy with me. Imagine me thinking that You were so egotistical as to do all the choosing Yourself. How unfair! Those Calvinist are so self-righteous to think that You would just save them while they do nothing but sin. But I'm not like that. I know I made the right decision when I chose You, God, and You can take great joy in it.

To God be all the glory... Well, a little of it anyway.

Amen.

Originally taken from http://injesus.com/Groups/ViewMessage.cfm?MessageId=7A006JJA&UCD=sdp

 

[ReformedWretch]

Great stuff!

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

What's wrong with this prayer? Isn't God our "co-Pilot?" I believe I read that on a bumper sticker somewhere.

(Tongue in cheek.)

 

[RamistThomist]

Nice

 

[ReformedWretch]

I put this up at another message board and it got deleted in a few hours!

 

[Me Died Blue]

Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot
What's wrong with this prayer? Isn't God our "co-Pilot?" I believe I read that on a bumper sticker somewhere.

(Tongue in cheek.)

Yeah, I've seen that! An actual bumper-sticker that simply reads, "God is my co-pilot." Can they be serious?

Originally posted by houseparent
I put this up at another message board and it got deleted in a few hours!

Well, what can you say - I guess the truth just hurts too much.

 

[Scot]

I put this up at another message board and it got deleted in a few hours!

I did the same thing and mine was deleted also!

 

[Reformed1]

Originally posted by VirginiaHuguenot
What's wrong with this prayer? Isn't God our "co-Pilot?" I believe I read that on a bumper sticker somewhere.

(Tongue in cheek.)

Yeah, I saw one that read, "Give Jesus a chance. He died for one."

I literally gagged when I saw it. I thought, "So Jesus died for an abstract chance?!?! No longer did He die for sinners, He died for a chance!" Arminianism has cleverly "christianized" blasphemy.

 

[Scot]

Posted the "Arminian Prayer" on an arminian forum and got this response:

The Calvinist Prayer


I have constructed a prayer for Calvinists that is in line with their theology. It is most important that one live out the conclusions of their faith.

God, I haven´t the slightest inkling of your decree. Whether you provided salvation for one or a million men no one knows. No one has any opportunity whatsoever for salvation because it is all of fate. No opportunity at all. It really doesn´t matter if I give you any praise, for if I´m elect I´ll be forced to bow to your glory in heaven, and if I´m reprobate I´ll be forced to bow in front of you before you send me to hell for the very sin which you decreed that I do. Your decree is final and irrevocable, no one can resist your will or do anything other than that which is decreed and predestined. You are so just for damning those you determined could do nothing other than what You decreed. You are so just for blaming sinners for their actions when You ensured that they could do no other. They could do nothing other than perfectly obey Your will so sin. Surely, You are a God of love. How could those Arminians miss it?

If I´m elect, I can tell you to take a flying leap into hell and you have no way of refusing me into heaven. I thank you that I can sin all I want and still be as sure for heaven as Jesus Christ to whom I possess His righteousness. You can´t see my sin! Nah-nah-na-na-na!

I have no use for your worthless word, the Bible. You give commands to holiness and righteousness in which you purpose that no man lives up to them anyway. You bid us to preach the Gospel to "œwhosoever will" when you have no intention of saving anyone that you have not already determined will be saved. So, belief and the Gospel are a waste of time. It is your glorious decree of fate that determines who will be saved. The lucky lotto of the fickle fate of your love has saved those you have determined who will be saved before or without faith or belief. Oh, in this glorious fate I rest in full assurance! Not that I can have the slightest idea by your word or experience whether I am elect or not, but the assurance that I have been given that belief and faith in the teaching of John Calvin that shows me proof that I am one of the elect. Blessed assurance, Calvin is mine!

And God, I especially thank You that I am not like those self-righteous Arminians who have the audacity to believe the Bible instead of the Calvinized "œdoctrines of grace" as their source for truth. How foolish they are to believe that you actually love anyone but us Calvinists! One can´t possibly be elect without believing as we do, nor can anyone that believes as us fail to be elect! Stifle their lies oh Lord! Silence them when they spew untruths that your Son is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the whole world! We are so weary of their haunting preaching and distortions that You are not willing that ANY should perish, but that All should come to repentance! Silence these arguments of these pathetic reprobates Oh Lord!

I am so proud to know that You will save me while I do nothing but sin. Your ways Oh God are not their ways! Your thoughts are mysterious and beyond comprehension, no man can understand your mysterious decrees! (Except us all-knowing Calvinists!)

Well, Glory to God"¦ or maybe not! Depending on the direction the wind-cock blew the day You handed out Your love!

Amen

 

[RamistThomist]

Wow, this guy's original. He ought to write a book.

 

[daveb]

No, that's not what a straw man looks like...not at all!

 

[Reformed1]

Who is this prayer directed towards? It's certainly not Calvinists. I'm willing to bet that he has never read ONE true Calvinistic book. If he has, his complete misrepresentations show him to be ignorant.

 

[Calvin Cormier]

Spurgeon\'s arminian prayer

I recently saw a post on a discussion board (?) of "An Arminian Prayer" by Charles Spurgeon .. about one paragraph in length.

Can someone post it here, or recall where it might be found?

thanks calvin

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Originally posted by Calvin Cormier
I recently saw a post on a discussion board (?) of "An Arminian Prayer" by Charles Spurgeon .. about one paragraph in length.

Can someone post it here, or recall where it might be found?

thanks calvin

"Lord, I thank thee I am not like those poor presumptuous Calvinists. Lord, I was born with a glorious free-will; I was born with power by which I can turn to thee of myself; I have improved my grace. If everybody had done the same with their grace that I have, they might all have been saved. Lord, I know thou dost not make us willing if we are not willing ourselves. Thou givest grace to everybody; some do not improve it, but I do. There are many that will go to hell as much bought with the blood of Christ as I was; they had as much of the Holy Ghost given to them; they had as good a chance, and were as much blessed as I am. It was not thy grace that made us to differ; I know it did a great deal, still I turned the point; I made use of what was given me, and others did not"”that is the difference between me and them."

-- An Arminian Prayer by CH Spurgeon

 

[Ivan]

Originally posted by Me Died Blue

The Arminian Prayer by Joe Garnett
Joe Garnett
Jun 30, 2002

The Arminian Prayer
by Joe Garnett

It appears to me that those who adhere to Arminianism pray Calvinistic prayers. This is most assuredly not proper. Thus I have constructed a prayer for Arminians that is in line with their theology. It is most important that one give thanks unto him that is due thanksgiving.

God, I thank you that You provided salvation for every person and that everyone has the equal opportunity to that salvation. And I thank You for my salvation. Actually, I thank me some for my salvation because You gave us all the freedom to choose. Yes, God, every man You gave the freedom to choose or reject You. I chose You and I'm sure You're happy that I did.

After You provided salvation for everybody it is good that somebody responds to it. I responded to it and I thank You. Well, really, it was my choice so I don't thank You for my response. I'm sure You're grateful to me that I responded. If I and some others had not chosen to respond You would not have any children and that would be too bad. So I know that You're delighted with those of us that had the good sense to do what is right, to love You and choose You.

Everybody could have chosen You, but I'm the one who did. It is just too bad that those other people were not as clever as I am. God, I'm sure You're disappointed in them. But don't take it too hard. You still have us that had the brains to appropriate Your salvation. God, I'm obliged for Your part in my salvation. And though You have never said so, I'm sure You are appreciative to me for my part as well. There is no doubt that when I get to heaven You will let me know how grateful You are. We've worked this out together for our mutual benefit. I thank You and You thank me. How nice.

We are a real team.

And God, I especially thank You that I am not like those self-righteous Calvinist. Well, actually, You didn't have anything to do with that so I don't thank You. It was my choice to believe what I believe so I'm sure You are happy with me. Imagine me thinking that You were so egotistical as to do all the choosing Yourself. How unfair! Those Calvinist are so self-righteous to think that You would just save them while they do nothing but sin. But I'm not like that. I know I made the right decision when I chose You, God, and You can take great joy in it.

To God be all the glory... Well, a little of it anyway.

Amen.

Originally taken from http://injesus.com/Groups/ViewMessage.cfm?MessageId=7A006JJA&UCD=sdp

I have known people who actually pray like this! Scary.

 

[Ivan]

Originally posted by houseparent
I put this up at another message board and it got deleted in a few hours!

Well, what can you say - I guess the truth just hurts too much. [/quote]

Yup, I've been to a number of boards that get all riled up when the truth is added to the mix. It's actually very interesting to watch!

 

[Puritanhead]

Sounds like a broader, more humorous version of Spurgeon's tongue-in-cheek prayer from Free Will, A Slave.... I got a laugh out of that being read on Amazing Grace DVD."...I have a glorious free will..."

http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0052.htm
---------------------
You have heard a great many Arminian sermons, I dare say; but you never heard an Arminian prayer"”for the saints in prayer appear as one in word, and deed and mind. An Arminian on his knees would pray desperately like a Calvinist. He cannot pray about free-will: there is no room for it. Fancy him praying, "Lord, I thank thee I am not like those poor presumptuous Calvinists. Lord, I was born with a glorious free-will; I was born with power by which I can turn to thee of myself; I have improved my grace. If everybody had done the same with their grace that I have, they might all have been saved. Lord, I know thou dost not make us willing if we are not willing ourselves. Thou givest grace to everybody; some do not improve it, but I do. There are many that will go to hell as much bought with the blood of Christ as I was; they had as much of the Holy Ghost given to them; they had as good a chance, and were as much blessed as I am. It was not thy grace that made us to differ; I know it did a great deal, still I turned the point; I made use of what was given me, and others did not"”that is the difference between me and them." That is a prayer for the devil, for nobody else would offer such a prayer as that. Ah! when they are preaching and talking very slowly, there may be wrong doctrine; but when they come to pray, the true thing slips out; they cannot help it.

 

[Calvin Cormier]

Spurgeon\'s \"prayer\"

Thanks Andrew,

My first post (question) and answered in minutes!


son of a carpenter, a smith
son of Mary David and Joseph
a firstfruit

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Originally posted by Calvin Cormier
Thanks Andrew,

My first post (question) and answered in minutes!


son of a carpenter, a smith
son of Mary David and Joseph
a firstfruit

You're welcome! And welcome to the Puritan Board!