Tell Me Why I Should Not Homeschool

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bwsmith

Puritan Board Freshman
That’s the question I asked when I considered homeschooling almost 2 decades ago, and the answer is still what I tell moms who wonder if homeschooling might be an alternative in their homes. “Don’t yank the kids out of school unless you are ready to reconstruct your day-timer!”

If you are intrigued with homeschooling but intimidated about signing on for 24/7 of kids, clutter, and craziness, you should think carefully –

First: What are you reading in Scripture that is stirring you up to homeschool?
Got a verse that just constricts your heart with conviction? I didn't — but I had this uneasy feeling that my time with our kids was spinning out of my hands — that others got to enjoy their company — and I was "worried" about academics.

Not very spiritual, huh? However, I began asking those women, who had formerly been the butt of some of my jokes, why I should not homeschool — Don't tell me why I should; tell me I shouldn't. To a woman, about ten women said: "Don't homeschool if you are unwilling to lose control of your time."

Now I gotta tell you — I had just gotten my youngest into full-time school and I was getting "a LIFE." — ladies' Bible studies, ladies' lunches, uncomplicated strolls through the grocery store aisles — even one or two uninterrupted conversations with my husband. I also have to confess: I am not “domestic!” I am not nuts about the confusion that comes with children. I don't play games, dress-up or like little league. I battle self-centeredness and an overwhelming urge for my own space, and peace. "Mother of the year" is never a title someone would associate with my name!

But the dearness of these little ones that God gave me seemed to be evaporating into the Christian School schedule! In 1984 – yes, I think that was the year I first heard about homeschooling – I thought those women were . . . well, nuts. Now, I never looked at September as my month of liberation – quite the contrary – I dreaded it – I like summers and their craziness – so when my son started off for second grade that crisp fall morning, a sharp pain went through mu heart – he was not coming back. About that time, my friend Diane Tecklenberg said she’s taken her kids out – I did not restrain my tongue – but I went with her to hear Gary Cox –

My eldest child was and is a handful — intellectually, spiritually. Then I found out my precious youngest was equipped with unique challenges: totally different — but just as dangerous! And those dear saints at the school were trying to teach dozens just like them. ThenN I read in some hs guru's treatise on the joys of homeschooling — all of which attracted me, like a moth is to a flame — that on the average, our children experience about 1 ½ minutes of the classroom teacher's personal attention. 1 ½ minutes?

Even I could give the kids more than that!

But I prayed — my husband prayed — for almost six months and God only kept fanning the desire to be with them — to be with them — to be with these precious children. And no, I did not have a clue what I was doing. (I thought I did but I didn't. This is a true statement for 99 & 99 /100% of my life, too!)

The first couple of years were tough. I will spare you the gory details. But I will tell you what my friend — an older sister in Christ, though she was younger than I — said when I wondered if I should chuck homeschooling. She reminded me that I would always be responsible for the training of their characters, no matter where I placed my children — always. That is what I would give an account of before Christ: not algebra or fine arts — but did I tell them what I know about God?

So — where should you keep or bring your kids to learn reading, writing and arithmetic? Maybe figure out where you can best train them to fear and serve the Lord — for that is what God will ask you what you did. Homeschooling is not necessarily the only place to do this — so, NO guilt trips if God has called you to choose another education tool, like traditional schooling!

Wrestle with how you are doing what God requires of parents. Where's the best place to do that? *IF* HE calls you home to educate your kids in the ABC's — He will redeem your time, strengthen your marriage — and even tell you it is time to log -off this great board because you got stuff to do!

Now consider praying through this and tell God you — and your husband — are willing to do whatever HE tells you. Then get busy with the very next thing on your to-do list!

Another old hand at homeschooling – the proud mother of ten children, and asked her for her advice, since she is STILL in the thick of the battle. She reflected a moment and said:
1. Figure out what your goals are for your family – that means talking with your husband – not nagging him. If he says, “No. “.. Do not badger him until he gives up in desperation. You never want he principal of your homeschool to say I told you so when problems creep up!
2. Pay attention to your child – prayer journal . . . Ask God to show you HOW you are to train the child.

In conclusion, then:
Review, remember and test all education tools by Deuteronomy 6:1-9.

Whatever plan you choose – do not jump around – every plan will have its downside – there is NO easy way to train children – if there were Dr, Dobson et al would not be so successful.
 

KMK

Administrator
Staff member
If you don't send your children to public school, where do you expect them to learn the 'F' word and evolution? :lol:
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Junior high stinks, elementry is fun, high school lets you get the unregenerate immaturity out of your system and then look back in college and see what you were saved from.

College is the time to step out of your parents shadow for better or worse and be a believing adult.

Post college is real world hard.

All part of a methodical sanctification.
 

LadyFlynt

Puritan Board Doctor
There is a difference between being friends with heathens and sending your children to be train and raised by them...
 

bwsmith

Puritan Board Freshman
Actually the church youth group -- as well as the local homeschool group, introduced my kids to some amazing things -- I am sad to say.

However the most painful lessons they learned was from me.
My daughter even wrote a poem:

I love my mom and dad so much,
the are so good to me.
But when my mommy loses it . . .
She's quite a sight to see!
Holly Smith, age 8
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
There is a difference between being friends with heathens and sending your children to be train and raised by them...
Do you intend to send your children to college?

Is not one of the most sharpening of tools being able to understand how the opposition thinks and engaging their arguments at their very foundations?

A heathen can teach me English, math, art, physics, biology, astronomy, secular histories, language, business, mechanics, administration, recipes, athletics, loyalty, government, military tactics.

I can approach my world view from a different lense than he or she but these basics of the world we live in could be afforded to me and by grace I could admire their benefits within creation even though the heathen does not.

We are surrounded by a corrupt culture, that fact that it slips into aspects of education is but a symptom of the greater disease.

We may be pilgrims in an unholy land but we are called to be here.
 

MrMerlin777

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
If you don't send your children to public school, where do you expect them to learn the 'F' word and evolution? :lol:
In some of the "Christian" schools I've seen they'd still be able to learn those things just fine.;) :) Wait, that's not really funny is it.:think:
 

bwsmith

Puritan Board Freshman
My husband's view of Homeschooling:
HAND IN HAND, by Doug Smith

July 21, 2000

An image I remember vividly is walking down a tree-shaded trail at mid-morning one school day, hand in hand with my fourteen year old son. I knew that holding the hand of an almost-grown child was a unique privilege. I enjoyed every second of it.

Not only is that walk a valued memory, but it represents something God accomplished in my family while we were homeschooling.

Many times before and after the walk my son and I stood nose to nose in hot disputes. Yet God blessed us with a loving companionable relationship. How did this come about?

I believe the Lord taught our family through Scripture to reconcile disputes quickly and not let them linger. This accounts for the family relationships that exist today when my son is 23 (now almost 30!) and my daughter 19 years of age. (She is now almost 26 & a wife and mom herself) (I won’t comment on my age or my wife’s.)

Scripture says "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27) God taught us to try obeying this injunction. If we had not tried, the continual close contacts of homeschooling would have become flashpoints for the release of anger and would have destroyed relationships as well as our “school.” This was especially true because I maintained a business in the home.

Christ also says "if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15) When we obeyed this command, and listened to each other, we gained stronger, purer family relationships.

The frustration and joy of living and learning together never stopped, but learning to reconcile reduced the sting of frustration and heightened the joy of our family life. I believe that learning reconciliation at home also has made it easier to maintain good relationships with people outside the home.

Of course God trained our minds while He trained our characters. The children grew skilled in academics. Both have gone to college and one has graduated so far. Barbara and I also learned a lot. For example, I read the book Uncle Tom’s Cabin (by Harriet Beecher Stowe) and the pre-civil war Dred Scott decision of the U.S. Supreme Court (the decision which declared African Americans to be less than fully human). I read them so I could discuss them with a group of homeschoolers. I might never have read either of these foundational American writings if we had not taught our children at home.

Still, I believe the main thing we learned is that God knows what He is talking about in the Bible. Scripture teaches accurately what God is like, what man is like, and how to live life with Christ as a companion and guide. Much education today does not place much value on a true understanding of God and man, and yet what good is education without it?

Let me also say something about my daughter. It has been a tradition for my daughter and me to watch fireworks together on July Fourth at the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis. When the family moved out of Annapolis to our current home in a northern suburb, we missed a few years of fireworks. This year my daughter and I resumed the tradition. It happened this way.

Two young men invited her to watch fireworks with them this July Fourth. I would have expected her to snap this up. She did, but she answered that she and her Daddy always watched fireworks together, and they were welcome to join us. The four of us went together and had a great time.

I know my daughter’s priorities will change when God brings her the man of His choice for a husband, should He so choose. But I can live with that. What God has already done in our family while we homeschooled, assures me that even better things are coming.
 

kvanlaan

Puritan Board Doctor
Do you intend to send your children to college?

Is not one of the most sharpening of tools being able to understand how the opposition thinks and engaging their arguments at their very foundations?

A heathen can teach me English, math, art, physics, biology, astronomy, secular histories, language, business, mechanics, administration, recipes, athletics, loyalty, government, military tactics.

I can approach my world view from a different lense than he or she but these basics of the world we live in could be afforded to me and by grace I could admire their benefits within creation even though the heathen does not.

We are surrounded by a corrupt culture, that fact that it slips into aspects of education is but a symptom of the greater disease.

We may be pilgrims in an unholy land but we are called to be here.
Travis, I understand your intent, but I don't follow the logic all the way through. I would assume that by the time a child is ready for university, he/she is mature in the faith. If they're not, they don't go. Gain a degree and lose your soul? It's just not worth it.

Little kids are not, in my opinion, up to sharpening iron on iron for the most part (there may be exceptions, but I don't see it as a general rule). In school, they are usually in the position of being in subjection to an adult (who they've been taught at home to respect) and that adult, in public schools today, may be telling them why "alternative" lifestyles are just that, an alternative, and not wrong. They will indoctrinate my child into the new animism of environmentalism, from Gaia theory to why some people injure others to save whales and chimps and why that is just a relative value, and can't be considered completely wrong. Etc, etc, etc.

They've taken 8 hours of my child's 12 hour day and given me just 4 to unlearn all of these things. Not to mention peer pressure, drugs, premarital sex, and on and on and on ad infinitum.

For us, homeschooling is a hill we'll die on. If we were to move to Canada from China and Canada outlaws homeschooling, we would leave the country. The only career path that matters to me is that my children are raised in the fear of the Lord and go on to lead godly families. That is best accomplished (if my wife and I are responsible) by training them ourselves, in my opinion. This is not to level condemnation on others that do send children to public school, but it is something of which we've been convicted, and don't dare shrug off.
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Travis, I understand your intent, but I don't follow the logic all the way through. I would assume that by the time a child is ready for university, he/she is mature in the faith. If they're not, they don't go. Gain a degree and lose your soul? It's just not worth it.

Little kids are not, in my opinion, up to sharpening iron on iron for the most part (there may be exceptions, but I don't see it as a general rule). In school, they are usually in the position of being in subjection to an adult (who they've been taught at home to respect) and that adult, in public schools today, may be telling them why "alternative" lifestyles are just that, an alternative, and not wrong. They will indoctrinate my child into the new animism of environmentalism, from Gaia theory to why some people injure others to save whales and chimps and why that is just a relative value, and can't be considered completely wrong. Etc, etc, etc.

They've taken 8 hours of my child's 12 hour day and given me just 4 to unlearn all of these things. Not to mention peer pressure, drugs, premarital sex, and on and on and on ad infinitum.

For us, homeschooling is a hill we'll die on. If we were to move to Canada from China and Canada outlaws homeschooling, we would leave the country. The only career path that matters to me is that my children are raised in the fear of the Lord and go on to lead godly families. That is best accomplished (if my wife and I are responsible) by training them ourselves, in my opinion. This is not to level condemnation on others that do send children to public school, but it is something of which we've been convicted, and don't dare shrug off.
Indoctrinated only if they have not been advised on what is truthful before hand or at least discussed with at home. Age has nothing to do with spiritual maturity and you can't shield the world away from the child forever.

I'm not against home schooling but the child is going to have to understand what the world believes and thinks and pressures itself into eventually.

Earning a degree is going to take away someone's soul? You give institutions far too much credit and power.

It is God who regenerates, sanctifies and perseveres.

If your child comes home with such objectionable teachings you have reason to confront them and the school and remove the student if need be but the wickedness of the world is not going lto eave us alone because we quit going to public schools and state universities.
 

Davidius

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Does God have his people in every tribe and every nation doing His will? Are Christians not at university? Do organizations such as RUF not attempt outreach? Does God's means not include putting people in situations to meet others?
Sorry, I didn't mean to include the part about universities in my quote of your post. That was supposed to be more about younger children. But really, do you think the character of the school has absolutely no effect? You mentioned pulling kids out at some point earlier. At what point would you pull your kids out?
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Sorry, I didn't mean to include the part about universities in my quote of your post. That was supposed to be more about younger children. But really, do you think the character of the school has absolutely no effect? You mentioned pulling kids out at some point earlier. At what point would you pull your kids out?
In such an instance God gives us our parently stewards, if they belong to Him they teach us Biblical wisdom, if we are elect it takes root.

God at times regenerates in the womb, lucky devils they are.
 

Davidius

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
In such an instance God gives us our parently stewards, if they belong to Him they teach us Biblical wisdom, if we are elect it takes root.

God at times regenerates in the womb, lucky devils they are.
It seems harder for the parents to have a real close relationship and teach their children in the way you're describing if the children are gone for 8 hours/day at school, then have after-school activities and homework on top of that.
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
It seems harder for the parents to have a real close relationship and teach their children in the way you're describing if the children are gone for 8 hours/day at school, then have after-school activities and homework on top of that.
If that is what the parents desire then pull them out of public schooling by all means but understand that public schools are not the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought.
They are but agents of it in certain instances.

Keep the child at home until grade school if you want, even through high school if you please but once they are on their own or in college they are going to have to confront and deal with life in a fallen world and age does not mean maturity.
 

Davidius

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
If that is what the parents desire then pull them out of public schooling by all means but understand that public schools are not the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought.
They are but agents of it in certain instances.

Keep the child at home until grade school if you want, even through high school if you please but once they are on their own or in college they are going to have to confront and deal with life in a fallen world and age does not mean maturity.
Regarding your first point, I never said that public schools are the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought. That may what others imply, but it's not my argument. I very much agree with you that we can learn much from non-Christians when it comes to non-redemptive things. I don't need a Christian to teach me Latin or German (my majors). I'm being tutored in Latin by a homosexual PhD student and we get along fine. Most of my German classes have had bad stuff from time to time that we've had to read or learn about. I took a New Testament class from a very well-known scholar of New Testament Criticism that was saturated with an anti-Christian agenda.

While I'm concerned with the negative element of public schooling, which you classified as an agent, I'm more concerned with the positive element of getting to be a real part of my childrens' lives while they are younger. I do have a responsibility to teach them in a godly manner and I do have a responsibility to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And I just want to share their lives. When college comes around I'll have to remember what you're saying, that salvation is of the Lord and that I'll have to entrust them to Him. But I want to provide every "means" I can for their growth and for the solidification of truth in their hearts before that moment when they leave.

And besides, statistics show that homeschooled kids are just smarter. :) Public school is a nursery to make sure that kids behave for 8 hours a day. Not a whole lot of real learning goes on there. This alone seems like a good reason to keep them at home.
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Regarding your first point, I never said that public schools are the source of human evil and appeasement of corrupt thought. That may what others imply, but it's not my argument. I very much agree with you that we can learn much from non-Christians when it comes to non-redemptive things. I don't need a Christian to teach me Latin or German (my majors). I'm being tutored in Latin by a homosexual PhD student and we get along fine. Most of my German classes have had bad stuff from time to time that we've had to read or learn about. I took a New Testament class from a very well-known scholar of New Testament Criticism that was saturated with an anti-Christian agenda.

While I'm concerned with the negative element of public schooling, which you classified as an agent, I'm more concerned with the positive element of getting to be a real part of my childrens' lives while they are younger. I do have a responsibility to teach them in a godly manner and I do have a responsibility to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And I just want to share their life. When college comes around I'll have to remember what you're saying, that salvation is of the Lord and that I'll have to entrust them to Him. But I want to provide every "means" I can for their growth and for the solidification of truth in their hearts before that moment when they leave.

And besides, statistics show that homeschooled kids are just smarter. :) Public school is a nursery to make sure that kids behave for 8 hours a day. Not a whole lot of real learning goes on there. This alone seems like a good reason to keep them at home.
I agree, I suppose part of the fall is that we now toil in hard labor instead of having all of our energies focused on our loved ones.

Truly we come home tired at the end of the day and what we need to be mindful in prayer for is patience, wisdom and goodtime management to spend with our families accordingly. Our marriages will be a covenant while our jobs will never be.

We have to learn to sacrifice ambition and pleasure at times for the duty and simplicity of time with our family both instructional and recreational.

I cannot pretend to have it all figured out but it would appear that a great part of sanctification will be coming to the realization of one's selfishness in the context of marriage and learning to not be repulsed by your spouse and children's sin but instead to confront it with discipline and fatherly/ husbandly love.

A mouthful, a tall order, a task that will make we boys men.

What the world delights in God will show us how fleeting ambition is compared to the love of a woman and the children you've had the honor of having and raising with her.
 

kvanlaan

Puritan Board Doctor
Sorry, Travis my point about the "earn a degree and lose your soul" was not that going to college will cause you to fall away but it can if the child is not ready. If I as a father do not think my child is ready to handle what I know is coming in university, I would say that he needs to stay home and receive more training before he is sent off into the big bad world. This is my God-given responsibility and I take it very seriously.

Look at the SBC stats on students who go to college after attending church their whole lives to that point (and who participate in missions, etc.). I think the figure that I heard (perhaps it was on the White Horse Inn) was that 60% fall away once they go to university. Is this only because they're S. Baptist? Nope. It is the relentless hammering of secular humanism, of having a good time at school, of all the various and sundry temptations. Though I am CRC myself, I went to a conservative SBC university and saw enough dope, booze and immorality to last a long, long time. What would my children see at a state school? And these days, it's knee deep in the public high schools too. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that it is one heck of a risk.

When you're in the slippery places, all it takes is your own weight to cause you to fall.
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Sorry, Travis my point about the "earn a degree and lose your soul" was not that going to college will cause you to fall away but it can if the child is not ready. If I as a father do not think my child is ready to handle what I know is coming in university, I would say that he needs to stay home and receive more training before he is sent off into the big bad world. This is my God-given responsibility and I take it very seriously.

Look at the SBC stats on students who go to college after attending church their whole lives to that point (and who participate in missions, etc.). I think the figure that I heard (perhaps it was on the White Horse Inn) was that 60% fall away once they go to university. Is this only because they're S. Baptist? Nope. It is the relentless hammering of secular humanism, of having a good time at school, of all the various and sundry temptations. Though I am CRC myself, I went to a conservative SBC university and saw enough dope, booze and immorality to last a long, long time. What would my children see at a state school? And these days, it's knee deep in the public high schools too. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I am saying that it is one heck of a risk.

When you're in the slippery places, all it takes is your own weight to cause you to fall.
I agree to a degree, I was immature heading into college but in many cases holding off the real world actually prolongs maturity.

Regretably in the instances where SBC kids you cite turned away many of them were just pew filler.

I went to the largest Baptist univeristy on the planet, I've seen it all believe me.
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Did you go to Liberty? Is that where your PB handle comes from?
PB handle?

I went to Baylor, it is a private university in the Big 12. It has a horrible seminary in Truett and a blasphemous theology department in the university.

Truett is wher Olson is and with him the most outspoken proponents of Open Theism in the USA to my knowledge.

It is a liberal theological place full of churchianity.

The school is pretty much moderate politically because profs are libs and student body are conservative in comparison.

I'll say this much, the Baptists flushed me into the arms of the Presbyterian Church while I was there.

http://www.baylor.edu
 

Davidius

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
PB handle?
Sorry if the terminology was odd. I just meant your PB name. I was thinking of Liberty University and that maybe "No Longer a Libertine" meant you were no longer a student there or something.



No Longer A Libertine said:
I'll say this much, the Baptists flushed me into the arms of the Presbyterian Church while I was there.
Another reminder of what we said earlier in the thread...that God uses means to get things accomplished. :lol:
 

No Longer A Libertine

Puritan Board Senior
Sorry if the terminology was odd. I just meant your PB name. I was thinking of Liberty University and that maybe "No Longer a Libertine" meant you were no longer a student there or something.





Another reminder of what we said earlier in the thread...that God uses means to get things accomplished. :lol:
Nope libertine as in hedon, blasphemer, reprobate world lover, lustful beyond reproach, selfish as my flesh wants to be, unregenerate and many more heinous things.

I don't hate the Baptists, the ones at Baylor were overwhelimingly charismatic and worldly more than anything.
 
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