Suffering with Depression

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Mathias321

Mathias321

Puritan Board Freshman
Depression still seems to be very misunderstood in most circles. It is a clinical illness which is many times overlooked by others, and those with it suffer alone.

As someone diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder, I was wondering what everyone’s thoughts were on how to help brothers and sisters who suffer with it walk the walk strong. I find very few people are able to actually sympathize with me because they don’t understand it. Because of that, lately my spiritual walk has been quite bumpy...

What can the bride of Christ do to help those suffering with this serious condition?
 
Matthew, I recommend getting a blood test to determine Vitamin D level, and get it raised if low. Read up on Omega 3 and it's importance for alleviating depression and anxiety.

Will add more later.

I promise to pray in the mean time.
 
I suffered from severe depression and anxiety for many years until one day God healed me. Literally over night God healed me. I was unable to take any meds bc they made me so sick. So i was blessed he healed me. I think one way to help those with depression is to hold them accountable in doing things with you....don't let them change their mind. I did that all the time and no one held me accountable which would have helped me. Also let them know you are praying for them and you're there for them.
 
OPC'n said:
I suffered from severe depression and anxiety for many years until one day God healed me. Literally over night God healed me. I was unable to take any meds bc they made me so sick. So i was blessed he healed me. I think one way to help those with depression is to hold them accountable in doing things with you....don't let them change their mind. I did that all the time and no one held me accountable which would have helped me. Also let them know you are praying for them and you're there for them.
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That is just the issue... I don't really have an accountability partner.
 
Cedarbay said:
Matthew, I recommend getting a blood test to determine Vitamin D level, and get it raised if low. Read up on Omega 3 and it's importance for alleviating depression and anxiety.

Will add more later.

I promise to pray in the mean time.
Click to expand...

Thank you! God bless you.
 
Nothing will substitute for the means of grace which you get in your local church. This is how God heals us of depression. However, understanding depression can be a great help. So I would recommend Ed Welsh's book on depression, not because I think it will cure you, but because it will help to see the dimensions of the issue. You need the Word, sacraments, prayer, and fellowship with other believers. Also, you need to make sure you have found a way to serve in the local church, since occasionally depression has as one of its many possible causes a self-worshipping narcissism. I am not saying you have that, mind you, but it is always a possibility with depression. When depression is coupled with narcissism, it is exceedingly hard to overcome, because the narcissist only looks for solutions inside himself, and finds his value inside himself.
 
The church should walk alongside you and hold you up as it would if you had a more visible physical, ailment. Yes, the means of grace are vital to the believer, but we are in a fallen world, and sometimes life is really, really tough. Keep in mind, you are not "graded" on the quality or quantity of your personal devotions, though they are important. Jesus sits at God's right hand and prays for you and begs your case regardless of how you might feel at the moment. Seeking counsel is wise, but I am seriously coming to question the modern model of sitting in a room by yourself talking to someone, especially a stranger. Get help, if you can, within your church and involve other family members if you are so blessed.
 
greenbaggins said:
Nothing will substitute for the means of grace which you get in your local church. This is how God heals us of depression. However, understanding depression can be a great help. So I would recommend Ed Welsh's book on depression, not because I think it will cure you, but because it will help to see the dimensions of the issue. You need the Word, sacraments, prayer, and fellowship with other believers. Also, you need to make sure you have found a way to serve in the local church, since occasionally depression has as one of its many possible causes a self-worshipping narcissism. I am not saying you have that, mind you, but it is always a possibility with depression. When depression is coupled with narcissism, it is exceedingly hard to overcome, because the narcissist only looks for solutions inside himself, and finds his value inside himself.
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Hello Pastor,

I have lingered and learned here for a few years and recently gained approval to post. Might I ask how much time you are able to spend with those given a diagnosis of a more serious and chronic depression, such as Matthew's?

Regards,
Anne
 
Matthew,
I concur with, Rev. Lane, about the Ed Walsh books, as I have both of his written about depression and anxiety. They are easy to read and full of encouragement.
You are not alone. A favorite verse of my sibling, who has managed disabling depression over the years is:

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:

18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

19 The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.
 
As a person who has suffered with Bipolar Depression and Anxiety his whole life: The best thing the church ever did for me was listen to me and let me cry as we talked about my upbringing or sometimes cried together in silence. They also suggested I go see a doctor to get help with the medical side. I hope this helps. I know this to be a touchy subject all too well. I met many of Job's friends when I opened up about this issue.

Ps: this was encouraging for me:
 
Cedarbay said:
Hello Pastor,

I have lingered and learned here for a few years and recently gained approval to post. Might I ask how much time you are able to spend with those given a diagnosis of a more serious and chronic depression, such as Matthew's?

Regards,
Anne
Click to expand...

Each case is completely different, and requires (first of all) a good deal of patient listening to find out what the root cause(s) are. There are no silver bullet solutions to depression, something that Welsh points out in his book. Some people are also more honest than others, and thus the root cause(s) can sometimes come out sooner in some cases than others. I am able to spend as much time as is necessary usually. At the moment, since my church is currently rather small, I have a bit more time for counseling than I might have otherwise. Were you asking for me to talk to Matthew?
 
greenbaggins said:
Each case is completely different, and requires (first of all) a good deal of patient listening to find out what the root cause(s) are. There are no silver bullet solutions to depression, something that Welsh points out in his book. Some people are also more honest than others, and thus the root cause(s) can sometimes come out sooner in some cases than others. I am able to spend as much time as is necessary usually. At the moment, since my church is currently rather small, I have a bit more time for counseling than I might have otherwise. Were you asking for me to talk to Matthew?
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I am quite grateful to read this, as I've not asked a pastor this before today. I hope there are many like you, able to come along side those who need this kind of help. I only mentioned Matthew due to his diagnosis, and your belief that the local church is the greatest means of grace in our afflictions.
 
greenbaggins said:
Each case is completely different, and requires (first of all) a good deal of patient listening to find out what the root cause(s) are. There are no silver bullet solutions to depression, something that Welsh points out in his book. Some people are also more honest than others, and thus the root cause(s) can sometimes come out sooner in some cases than others. I am able to spend as much time as is necessary usually. At the moment, since my church is currently rather small, I have a bit more time for counseling than I might have otherwise. Were you asking for me to talk to Matthew?
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If you’re willing sometime to talk to me, sure! My elders and pastor know about it too so I can go to them.
 
greenbaggins said:
You need the Word, sacraments, prayer, and fellowship with other believers.
Click to expand...

Also: consultation with a doctor with prescribed medication. Remember, he is talking about clinical depression, not spiritual depression. These are two different things. My late wife suffered from Bipolar Depression for many years, but was able to function normally with medication.
 
Amen to most of what was said above. I usually struggle from the same ailments, though I've been getting better at coping with it. Here is my advice.

Medicine is not evil, but it should perhaps be a last resort. I took Lexapro for some time. While it helped short term, I found that my symptoms began to escalate. Moreover, my tolerance for the drug continued to increase and I saw where that would lead. So, I quit. The withdraw was pretty bad, but I recovered.

Make sure you are eating healthy, exercising regularly, being social to a certain extent, meditating, taking intermittent naps to relax (especially when you're very anxious), and living an otherwise health lifestyle. People always want doctors to push them pills and continue to live the crappy livestyle they're living, and this never solves anything. In fact, it usually makes it worse.

Supplement recommendations. One of the biggest helps for me as of late has been taking mega-doses of vitamin D and fish oil, especially the former. I take like 4000-5000iu of vitamin D a day, and it makes me feel great!

Hope that was of help.
 
Justified said:
Amen to most of what was said above. I usually struggle from the same ailments, though I've been getting better at coping with it. Here is my advice.

Medicine is not evil, but it should perhaps be a last resort. I took Lexapro for some time. While it helped short term, I found that my symptoms began to escalate. Moreover, my tolerance for the drug continued to increase and I saw where that would lead. So, I quit. The withdraw was pretty bad, but I recovered.

Make sure you are eating healthy, exercising regularly, being social to a certain extent, meditating, taking intermittent naps to relax (especially when you're very anxious), and living an otherwise health lifestyle. People always want doctors to push them pills and continue to live the crappy livestyle they're living, and this never solves anything. In fact, it usually makes it worse.

Supplement recommendations. One of the biggest helps for me as of late has been taking mega-doses of vitamin D and fish oil, especially the former. I take like 4000-5000iu of vitamin D a day, and it makes me feel great!

Hope that was of help.
Click to expand...

Couldn't say it better myself! Well said brother!
 
As everybody mentions above its something that the local church could help with since we bear each others burdens. Biblical Counselors would say the same but would also focus on your activities, your responsibilities, diet and daily activity level. All of those things can impact your mood. CCEF and ACBC have great resources that couuld help you and they have practical application to help lift the depression. Medication would be the absolute last resort and you should have an accountability partner.
 
I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression almost all my life. My first feelings of anxiety came when my mother and father decided to enroll my brothers and I in private school in the 5th grade. I did not want to leave my friends, I hated the dress code, and I remember feeling a sense of dread on the car ride to my new school. A few years later the anxiety took on a new form: OCD. I would count my steps, hesitate, double check everything, and overall constantly worry. This anxiety/OCD hybrid would consume my days, and my teenage years were plagued with the question “What if?” My anxiety would think of the most horrible scenario possible (What if I die? What if I kill someone? What if God doesn’t exist? What if this all is a sham?) and then my OCD would reinforce those feelings “if you don’t do this, you might end up doing this”. My teenage years were miserable. I would self-medicate by obsessively playing video games or watching p0rn; anything to keep my mind off my worries.

Perhaps the worst part of it all was that I felt completely alone. I did not understand my feelings; in fact I did not even know how to label them. I felt like I was in the only person in the world with these feelings, and I was too afraid to admit my weakness to others. I remember going to college and avoiding the counseling department. My reasoning was that if I admitted my problems, they would be shocked and send me away (another worry!) After college I married my high school girlfriend, and I was forced to admit my weakness for the first time in my life.

When I was young, I could be anxious all day without any physical effects. But when I got older, I started having heart palpitations that would last 4-6 hours. The palps would nearly disable me; and I had to learn how to monitor my stress & eating/sleeping habits. I finally went to the doctor and they put me on 20mg of Prozac. The medicine worked like a charm, and for the first time in my life I felt finally free…until the past 6 months.

It’s been a difficult year for my family. We’ve seen a lot of death, combined with a tremendous amount of stress from work. My heart palps resurfaced and the Prozac apparently stopped working. I began feeling panicky; and those old feelings of dread began to set in. I’ve been struggling for the past 3 months.

But then I logged into this forum last night and saw this thread. I noticed OPC’n commented how God has miraculously healed him overnight from his anxiety/depression. I’m going to be honest, I scoffed at the comment. “I highly doubt God could heal a man from this” I thought to myself. I turned on my side and fell asleep on the couch.

I know this is going to sound strange, but I woke up 15 minutes later with this thought in my head “Is there any person God cannot heal?!” I don’t know how to describe this, but here it goes. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like a fog has lifted in my mind. My anxiety, OCD, stress, it all began to make sense. For the first time in my life I do not feel broken, and I am now convinced that I am entirely normal. These obsessive worries that have plagued my life are just that: worries. They are not reality. If I have to worry about worrying, I have nothing to worry about at all! I feel like I can see clearly now. I got off the couch and ran 2 miles last night praising God.

Even as I type this I am tempted to worry “what if this doesn’t last, what if, what if, what if?” But here’s the deal: I now know that my problem is the worry/what if, it’s not an actual problem. For some reason my mind is prone to fear, and for 20 years I have reinforced that habit by imprisoning myself. Instead of fear, I need to medicate my anxieties with faith and joy in God.

Matthew, thank you for this thread. And please know you’re not alone!
 
What is a good option if your pastor and Elders have been clearly made aware of a person’s struggle with depression and they won’t offer any spiritual help?
 
Matt:

Don't assume that fellow Christians don't sympathize because they don't express it in ways that are clear to you or that you find most helpful.

I don't mean that many Christians may, in fact, not understand or express sympathy as well with your situation as they would someone with cancer. And I agree, dear brother, that it's something that the body needs to work on. Indeed.

Yet don't let the awkwardness of fellow Christians, either in being unsympathetic or not knowing how best to show it in the case of depressive disorders, become the issue. The enemy will use that only further to drive a wedge between you and them.

It is common for persons with any affliction whatsoever to feel isolated and alone (even the cancer sufferers who seem to have everyone's sympathy). You only see them from the outside whereas you know your own suffering and loneliness from the inside.

I would urge you to talk to Dr. Troxel about this, including your desire for a accountability partner. In the meantime, let me encourage you that no one can or ever will sympathize with you like your Savior (Heb. 2:14-18, 4: 14-16). He truly was isolated (in a way that we mere humans never are though we feel as if we are, part of the devil's divide and conquer strategy): Hughes says in respect to Hebrews 12:3 that He endured as none other ever did, noting the "utter loneliness of Jesus on his earthly course." So much more can be said here (and you may want to listen to my sermon on Hebrews 12:1-3 on SA).

I think that ultimately it will not be most fruitful for you to focus on the body's lack of understanding or sympathy (as true as that may be in any given church), knowing that your feeling of a lack of such is subjective (and may be off) and that you do have One who perfectly understands, sympathizes, and unfailingly loves you.

We in the body always need better to understand and sympathize with each other. We all fail in this; the important thing is not to let that drive a wedge between us, but for us all to pray for more sympathy and to draw near to our Great High Priest who fully sympathizes with you in your deepest distress.

Peace,
Alan
 
The responses given are good though I may add many times looking for a "solution" within the confines of the institution of the church for all problems may be not needed for I personally do not know any person who does not feel down now and then. Yes there are degrees of depression and the more serious may need the professional help of your Pastor or the medical professional. A patient waiting for The Lord to bring comfort always comes for me, though my "downs" are short and mild. What I am saying is that the means of grace many times come from outside the confines of the institution of the ordained Pastors of our assembly. PS. It is nice to know the elders are there if you need them.
 
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