I've spent the last two months searching for all available books on the Perseverance of the Saints. I've found that every single historical work on the matter, that I could find, teaches that the regenerate can never lose faith. I will explain why this is a stumbling block for me if I wished to accept Reformed theology. Four years ago, I trusted in the imputed righteousness of Christ alone for my justification before God. However, one year ago I started to fall into heresy. I become a Unitarian for a month, started believing in a form of works based salvation, and even flirted with the idea that the virgin birth was unbiblical. I have since then repented, but have often struggled with heresy and my friends would consider me someone who is constantly tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. I do have OCD and Scrupulosity which, I think, makes the situation worse. I have read the historical Calvinist writers on the Perseverance of the Saints, and one of them outright said that it is impossible for a regenerate Christian to be decieved by the heresy of Unitarianism. So, according to the Perseverance of the Saints, I was never truly regenerate while I believed in Unitarianism, and I was never truly regenerate four years ago when I professed to have trusted in Christ alone for salvation. Some of you might say, "How is this a problem? Just accept it and move on." How can I accept something that so blatantly contradicts all experience? I know for a fact that I believed in the Gospel four years ago, but I also know that I was decieved by Unitarianism. In order to accept the Perseverance of the Saints (PoS), I would have to deny all of the time I spent in fellowship with God, and trusting in him. I would have to do all of this because PoS teaches that a regenerate Christian cannot be decieved by such heresies. Some modern Calvinists say that this is not what the PoS teaches, and they argue that they only believe in the Final Perseverance of the Saints, and that the elect can temporarily fall away. However, the Reformed taught both the Total and Final Perseverance of the saints. The Reformers found it necessary to teach that the elect could never fall into serious heresies, or lose faith, because of their view of justification. They believed that perseverance in faith was the means by which God kept them justified. So, if the elect were to lose faith temporarily, for the Reformers, this would amount to a loss of salvation, which they viewed as an absurdity. In their commentary on 1 Peter 1:5, Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown teach that the "effective means" of our being preserved in Christ, is our continual act of faith. They write that, "it is through faith that salvation is both received and kept." Not only does the Reformed doctrine of Perseverance of the Saints seem to contradict my expierience, it seems to contradict several places in scripture... However, my primary concern is reconciling the Perseverance of the Saints with my experience, since I know that the passages could always just be interpreted differently. Clarification: I come from a background of Primitive Baptist theology which teaches that a regenerate person can apostasize, yet have not lost their salvation.