Staying away from the appearance of evil

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Weston Stoler

Puritan Board Sophomore
My parents are liberal IFB's (if their is such a thing?) and they believe that all drinking is a sin. To the point that they do not buy medicine with alcohol in them. My position is, whenever I turn 21 I am planning on having a glass of wine on a regular basis. Would this be a sin considering my parents would adamantly forbid it (even if I was not living with them) and see me as good as an unbeliever?
 
Do not do it in front of them. I love a glass of merlot daily, but my ex roommate was when he first came here by convinction against alcohol becuase his uncle was killed by a drunk driver, and he was uncomfortable with the social drinking here in québecois culture. Now he is ok with it, but I wouldn't drink when he was around. If you live with them than don't drink, you are under their authority, but if you live on your own then what you do privately as long as it is not sinful, is not their buisness. And if you have them over don't serve them wine.
 
Knowing how to respect parents is often a tricky matter that depends some on the particular relationship between parent and son. But in most cases like this, I would think healthy respect includes two things:

1. Don't flaunt your drinking around them. For sure, abide by their rules in their house. And generally go out of your way not to embarrass them or cause them undue anxiety.

2. Still, though, you need to go ahead and live your life based on your understanding of the Scriptures and your relationship with God. A fake Christian life that doesn't flow from your own faith but rather just mimics theirs isn't really respectful either, because you'd be hiding your true self from them. So when topics such as drinking come up, you do need to be honest about your views and practices and not hiding your behavior from them. Be prepared to respectfully explain how your behavior fits your faith, and also to share openly about your faith and struggles regarding every aspect of your Christian walk... NOT (this is important!) just the things you disagree with them over. Parents are often the most awkward people to share personal matters of faith with. If you can learn to get beyond that awkwardness be a man who shares openly with them about all matters of his personal faith, that will be a huge sign of both maturity and respect.
 
We are at liberty in the Lord to drink alcohol, but we still have to be aware of how our actions affect others.
1 Corinthians 10:23, "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."
Apart from being an ambassador of Jesus. why would you want to run the risk of becoming an Alcoholic.
Depending on your reaction to alcohol, it can be a few or many glasses before you step over that red line.
I talk from bitter experience and can only suggest that you do a personal study on the effects of alcohol in our society, before you decide on that one glass a day, that slowly becomes 2, then 3, ..........
Why not have a "heart to heart" with your parents

Derek
 
We are at liberty in the Lord to drink alcohol, but we still have to be aware of how our actions affect others.
1 Corinthians 10:23, "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."
Apart from being an ambassador of Jesus. why would you want to run the risk of becoming an Alcoholic.
Depending on your reaction to alcohol, it can be a few or many glasses before you step over that red line.
I talk from bitter experience and can only suggest that you do a personal study on the effects of alcohol in our society, before you decide on that one glass a day, that slowly becomes 2, then 3, ..........
Why not have a "heart to heart" with your parents

Derek

I have a great base of Godly men that would stop this from happening. Not saying I couldn't become addicted (because I am a flawed sinful human) I am just saying that because of the Godly men that I have as friends they would stop me before I made such a mistake. 1 glass of wine is healthy for the heart. Paul said to timothy to drink wine. I have talked to them about the issue and they are keen set on saying that Jesus made water into grape juice and that the lords supper consisted of crackers and grape juice. cult like IFB's (not all are cults but some are) don't let you think for yourself. It is the main reason I left.

---------- Post added at 07:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:43 PM ----------

I dare say they almost disowned me for becoming a Presbyterian.
 
Reformed theology has the Scriptures right in saying that alcohol in and of itself is not evil. It is something that can be good if received with thanks, not idolatrized, etc.

Having said that, I don't drink and don't recommend it.

There are many biblical qualifications to drinking, including not causing others to stumble by your doing it in their awareness. Like it or not, right or wrong, many people will judge you by whether you drink- not only some Christians, but in a lot of conservative cultures as well. This greatly affects your witness, and your access. There are so many biblical qualifications, in fact, I can't honestly separate them out so I abstain- and I won't permit it in my house or under my control either.

It's amazing how God has used that witness, and opened the door to a group of people in the Moslem religion, initiated convicting conversations with other believers, it's also been used to isolate me in some social settings but later, bring some very meaningful (and surprising) relationships and access to people.

In addition, my own experience (which is not biblical imperative) has seen tremendous misuse of alcohol, including the stepped down forms of drunkeness "buzz," etc. that are often rationalized. I've seen it put more men in the gutter than anything, by far- and I don't choose to support the liquor industry.

In your case, if you are under your parents' authority, e.g. in their house, you must abide their rules, biblically.

If you are emancipated, your conscience is before God in this matter, but all the obligations- avoiding the appearance of evil, not causing a weaker brother to stumble, etc. apply.

And, there are many of those.:)
 
In your case, if you are under your parents' authority, e.g. in their house, you must abide their rules, biblically.

If you are emancipated, your conscience is before God in this matter, but all the obligations- avoiding the appearance of evil, not causing a weaker brother to stumble, etc. apply.

And, there are many of those.:)
:up:
As a young man whose family is somewhat similar to yours Weston, I would suggest the best course of action is to honor you parents while in their house. Do not let your liberty become unloving. I know having teetotaler parents can be a pain but alcohol is a needless fight.
 
1 Thessalonians 5:22 "abstain from all appearance of evil" is a misunderstanding from the KJV. See ESV/NKJV/NASB/HCSB "every form of evil," NIV/NLT "every kind of evil."
 
Such a simple matter really. Why stumble your parents? Abstain in their presence, abstain or partake otherwise.
 
Be courteous, respectful, humble, and honest.

Even though they are wrong on the issue of alcohol, you need to be courteous and not flaunt your drinking. It's not that big of a sacrifice to avoid drinking in front of you parents.

That said, when you reach the point where you are out of their home and supporting yourself, you are no longer under their authority. Yes, you should always respect and honor your parents, but you don't have to obey all of their wishes as an adult.

Also, when you are living on your own and drinking, be honest with your parents. That is part of being respectful and courteous. Don't fall into the trap trying to keep your drinking a secret from your parents. It's a burden. Don't hide the alcohol in your home when they come over. Just be honest and humble about it. They are free to disaprove, and hopefully over the years you can be a witness to the responsible enjoyment of alcohol.
 
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