D
Deleted member 11889
Guest
Prior to salvation my life was full of all manner of shocking sin. By God's grace I am saved and rescued from immense bondage, but find myself struggling with a curious phenomenon.
On paper, my sins in themselves and by reason of several diminutions are surely less heinous in the sight of God than formerly. Yet it seems that, if anything, they are much more offensive than the worst deeds of my prior life. As an unbeliever, I was simply acting according to nature; what else would one expect? Now, though, I have lived under his grace and experienced the blessings of salvation. Each sin, whether out of habit, ignorance, or just plain rebellion, is a wilful spurning of that grace, and with each passing year it would seem even the smallest sins become incomparably greater in magnitude by virtue of the magnitude of the grace which must be momentarily discarded in favor of sin.
I would be most interested in hearing how others handle this, if indeed anyone is able to relate to such a thought process.
On paper, my sins in themselves and by reason of several diminutions are surely less heinous in the sight of God than formerly. Yet it seems that, if anything, they are much more offensive than the worst deeds of my prior life. As an unbeliever, I was simply acting according to nature; what else would one expect? Now, though, I have lived under his grace and experienced the blessings of salvation. Each sin, whether out of habit, ignorance, or just plain rebellion, is a wilful spurning of that grace, and with each passing year it would seem even the smallest sins become incomparably greater in magnitude by virtue of the magnitude of the grace which must be momentarily discarded in favor of sin.
I would be most interested in hearing how others handle this, if indeed anyone is able to relate to such a thought process.