Repentance and Restitution

[michael_topple]

Friends,

Having searched for a post on this subject, I couldn’t find anything that quite matched my question.

I’m conscious that, of the numerous sins that I have committed in my life, some have been directed against God and had little effect on those around me (disobedience to His commandments, ignorance of His Word, etc) while some (though still against God’s law) have been directed against other people. I have spoken ill of others, I have mistreated people, in my youth I used to pinch other people’s things, you get the idea. Most of these were the ignorant sins of youth, although my adult life is obviously far from perfect.

As a Reformed Christian, I know how my sins being forgiven happens not by me doing enough ‘right’ things, but only through God’s sovereign grace in Jesus Christ. Therefore I know that I can never earn myself forgiveness for my sins. Nor can I in any way ‘make up’ to God.

However, what I do struggle with from time to time is the lingering sense of guilt that comes from the effect my sinful actions had on other people. In many cases I’ve been able to speak frankly to the wronged party and seek their forgiveness. Sometimes, however, this is not possible: maybe I’ve either lost touch with them, or (in one extreme example) they refused to let me speak to them.

So, my question is, notwithstanding the fact that forgiveness is wholly in God’s hands and nothing to do with how much I try to make things right, how far do people think we should go with trying to make amends?

I feel it would be very easy to just take our sins to the Lord, seek His forgiveness, and forget about the wronged party. And yet I can’t shake off the Lord Jesus’ instruction that, if my brother and I have something between us, I should leave my gift at the altar and go to make peace with him. (Matt. 5. 24)

I’d be grateful for any thoughts that the community can offer. Thank you.

 

[MW]

If you have gone as far as you can the only thing left to do is to commit the matter to the Lord. The evil action always has an opposite good action. We can make conscience of doing good to others in the present. Also, remembrance of guilt often rises again because the root of it is still present in our actions in some way. So you can take cognisance of present actions to see where the sin has not been fully rooted out. There is fresh cause for repentance. As for the guilt of past sins, the promise of the covenant extends to this also; Ps. 25:7, "Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD."

 

[michael_topple]

If you have gone as far as you can the only thing left to do is to commit the matter to the Lord. The evil action always has an opposite good action. We can make conscience of doing good to others in the present. Also, remembrance of guilt often rises again because the root of it is still present in our actions in some way. So you can take cognisance of present actions to see where the sin has not been fully rooted out. There is fresh cause for repentance. As for the guilt of past sins, the promise of the covenant extends to this also; Ps. 25:7, "Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O LORD."

Thank you for this, Matthew. I will certainly look to examine myself and see where these sins have not been fully expunged.
God bless
Michael

 

[Ed Walsh]

And yet I can’t shake off the Lord Jesus’ instruction that, if my brother and I have something between us, I should leave my gift at the altar and go to make peace with him. (Matt. 5:24)

I agree entirely with what Matthew said but want to add and stress the importance of doing everything possible to keep peace between you and your brother. That includes unbelievers, too, but the stress that Jesus is making is for peace among brothers.

I quote the passage from Matthew, including verse 23, and paste it below because it is essential to be precise in what Jesus said.

But first, let me ask this question. What could be more important than the worship of God? Particularly at those appointed times of worship, such as on the Lord's Day worship service?

Matthew 5:23-24​

[23] Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; ​

[24] leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first, be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.​

I maintained that there is one thing that Jesus said is a higher priority than even the worship of God. And note that it has nothing to do with any wrongdoing or guilt or even a contribution you may have made toward the misunderstanding with your brother.

This very situation happened to me about a year ago during a worship service at my church. I had done nothing wrong. And today, if you ask the offended brother, he would say I now know that Ed had done nothing wrong. By the way, we have been good friends since then. But I said something that this person took the wrong way without it all being my intention. I tried before church to take him aside and try to work this out, but he refused. So what else could I do? I went to my pew very uncomfortable and decided to try again another day another way. But following the call to worship, I realized I could not worship in my present state. So, I got up, walked to the other side of the church and whispered to my brother, begging him to please step aside with me for a few minutes to discuss this issue. Again, he refused. And then I concluded I could do no more at that moment. So, after church, I asked the elders for help. They agreed and made the arrangements that you would meet the following week after worship. We did so, and wonderfully, the whole issue was cleared up, and we have since become close friends. So, according to Jesus, trying to make amends with somebody who has something against you is a higher priority than worship, even when you are 100% sure that even your attitude was good throughout it all.

Consider also the seven petitions in the Lord's Prayer. "Seven" is a significant number, is it not?

Here they are:

1. Hallowed by thy name.
2. Thy kingdom come.
3. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
4. Give us this day our daily bread.
5. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
6. Lead us not into temptation.
7. Deliver us from evil.

How can we rate the relative importance of the petitions?

After Jesus finished, He commented on only one petition. The fifth petition. And he only commented on one-half of that petition. Here's what he had to say:

Matthew 6:14-15​

[14] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:​

[15] but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.​

My point about all this should be obvious. This striving to live at peace with our fellow man and particularly our brothers and sisters in the Lord is super important to God. It's more important than, it seems, anything.

We could look at the interaction between Jesus and the chief publican Zacchias. Luke 19:5-9

It seems that when Jesus saw the exuberance with which he offered restitution to those he had harmed, it was enough for him to say the following:

Luke 19:9 KJV
[9] And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

I think we can all agree that this striving to live in peace with everyone, as much as life in us, is of extreme importance and can't be stressed enough.

Just this morning, I cried my heart out before the Lord while singing Psalm 133.

 

[michael_topple]

I agree entirely with what Matthew said but want to add and stress the importance of doing everything possible to keep peace between you and your brother. That includes unbelievers, too, but the stress that Jesus is making is for peace among brothers.

I quote the passage from Matthew, including verse 23, and paste it below because it is essential to be precise in what Jesus said.

But first, let me ask this question. What could be more important than the worship of God? Particularly at those appointed times of worship, such as on the Lord's Day worship service?

Matthew 5:23-24​

[23] Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; ​

[24] leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first, be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.​

I maintained that there is one thing that Jesus said is a higher priority than even the worship of God. And note that it has nothing to do with any wrongdoing or guilt or even a contribution you may have made toward the misunderstanding with your brother.

This very situation happened to me about a year ago during a worship service at my church. I had done nothing wrong. And today, if you ask the offended brother, he would say I now know that Ed had done nothing wrong. By the way, we have been good friends since then. But I said something that this person took the wrong way without it all being my intention. I tried before church to take him aside and try to work this out, but he refused. So what else could I do? I went to my pew very uncomfortable and decided to try again another day another way. But following the call to worship, I realized I could not worship in my present state. So, I got up, walked to the other side of the church and whispered to my brother, begging him to please step aside with me for a few minutes to discuss this issue. Again, he refused. And then I concluded I could do no more at that moment. So, after church, I asked the elders for help. They agreed and made the arrangements that you would meet the following week after worship. We did so, and wonderfully, the whole issue was cleared up, and we have since become close friends. So, according to Jesus, trying to make amends with somebody who has something against you is a higher priority than worship, even when you are 100% sure that even your attitude was good throughout it all.

Consider also the seven petitions in the Lord's Prayer. "Seven" is a significant number, is it not?

Here they are:

1. Hallowed by thy name.
2. Thy kingdom come.
3. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
4. Give us this day our daily bread.
5. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
6. Lead us not into temptation.
7. Deliver us from evil.

How can we rate the relative importance of the petitions?

After Jesus finished, He commented on only one petition. The fifth petition. And he only commented on one-half of that petition. Here's what he had to say:

Matthew 6:14-15​

[14] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:​

[15] but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.​

My point about all this should be obvious. This striving to live at peace with our fellow man and particularly our brothers and sisters in the Lord is super important to God. It's more important than, it seems, anything.

We could look at the interaction between Jesus and the chief publican Zacchias. Luke 19:5-9

It seems that when Jesus saw the exuberance with which he offered restitution to those he had harmed, it was enough for him to say the following:

Luke 19:9 KJV
[9] And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.

I think we can all agree that this striving to live in peace with everyone, as much as life in us, is of extreme importance and can't be stressed enough.

Just this morning, I cried my heart out before the Lord while singing Psalm 133.

Dear Ed.
I will reply to your excellent message later on, when I’m at a computer. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
In the meantime I thought I would share this: an extract from Calvin’s Commentary on Psalm 16 (for next Sabbath’s sermon), which I felt spoke into this question. (Apologies for any typos - I used the phone to extract the text from the photos as the images were too large to upload)

3. Unto the saints who are on the earth. Almost all are agreed in understanding this place, as if David, after the sentence which we have just now been considering, had added, The only way of serving God aright is to endeavour to do good to his holy servants. And the truth is, that God, as our good deeds cannot extend to him, substitutes the saints in his place, towards whom we are to exercise our charity. When men, therefore, mutually exert themselves in doing good to one another, this is to yield to God right and acceptable service. We ought, doubtless, to extend our charity even to those who are unworthy of it, as our heavenly Father "maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good," (Matth. v. 45) but David justly prefers the saints to others, and places them in a higher rank. This, then, as I have said in the commencement, is the common opinion of almost all interpreters.? But although I do not deny that this doctrine is comprehended under the words of David, I think he goes somewhat farther, and intimates that he will unite himself with the devout worshippers of God, and be their associate or companion; even as all the children of God ought to be joined together by the bond of fraternal unity, that they may all serve and call upon their common Father with the same affection and zeal. We thus see that David, after having confessed that he can find nothing in himself to bring to God, seeing he is indebted to him for every thing which he has, sets his affections upon the saints, because it is the will of God that, in this world, he should be magnified and exalted in the assembly of the just, whom he has adopted into his family for this end, that they may live together with one accord under his authority, and under the guidance of his Holy Spirit. This passage, therefore, teaches us that there is no sacrifice more acceptable to God than when we sincerely and heartily connect ourselves with the society of the righteous, and being knit together by the sacred bond of godliness, cultivate and maintain with them brotherly good-will. In this consists the communion of saints which separates them from the degrading pollutions of the world, that they may be the holy and peculiar people of God. He expressly speaks of the saints who are on the earth, because it is the will of God that, even in this world, there should be conspicuous marks, and as it were visible escutcheons, of his glory, which may serve to conduct us to himself. The faithful, therefore, bear his image, that, by their example, we may be stirred up to meditation upon the heavenly life. For the same reason, the Psalmist calls them excellent, or honourable, because there is nothing which ought to be more precious to us than righteousness and holiness, in which the brightness of God's Spirit shines forth; just as we are commanded in the preceding psalm to prize and honour those who fear God.

We ought, therefore, highly to value and esteem the true and devoted servants of God, and to regard nothing as of greater importance than to connect ourselves with their society; and this we will actually do if we wisely reflect in what true excellence and dignity consist, and do not allow the vain splendour of the world and its deceitful pomps to dazzle our eyes.