Question for the men...

[LadyFlynt]

I am totally clueless on something...

I have a very medically minded son...he's growing up fast (nearly 10yrs). He pretty open with me and thus I get the brunt of THE questions, if you know what I mean. I think it has to do with me being the momma and carrying all the wee ones, he thinks I'm the one to ask. We live in a rural area and he has younger siblings...so some questions have been answered already for him (how boys differ from girls and how the babes come out...both naturally and c-section). However, he has picked up from the medical books and encyclopedias, as well as the explaination that children are SUPPOSED to come after marriage, that there are genes from daddy (and what those genes are carried in) and an egg from the momma. He however wants to know how God puts the two together.

Help! I'm good at the clinical talks and explaining things...but WHEN and HOW do I answer this question? I've been putting it off...but I know that soon he's going to need to understand this to understand other things that go happen. I know what to look for in girls...but not really in boys. Hubby was raised by a divorced mother...so he learned mostly from public school. I always talked to my stepfather who could approach things clinically also (momma was always to shy or embarrased).

 

[Puritan Sailor]

Do you mean he want's to understand the genetic combination process to form the embryo? Or the conjugal act that takes place to set the microbiology in order?

 

[biblelighthouse]

Originally posted by puritansailor
Do you mean he want's to understand the genetic combination process to form the embryo? Or the conjugal act that takes place to set the microbiology in order?

I'm sure he would find the answers to both questions to be quite interesting!

 

[LadyFlynt]

He understands the genetic part...he wants to know the conjugal part...the HOW does the one gene carrier gets from dad to mom. YIKES!

 

[RamistThomist]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
He understands the genetic part...he wants to know the conjugal part...the HOW does the one gene carrier gets from dad to mom. YIKES!

You are actually in a privileged position--you, and not the government schools, get to explain to him. Imagine the alternative. Wait, don't imagine what the govenrment would tell him.

 

[Puritan Sailor]

Just be honest. He will thank you for it later. If you keep putting it off, he will learn it from some one else, more likely an unreliable source. If you can tell him the truth on this, then he will probably trust you later on with other things. But you may want to make this a joint venture with your husband.

 

[Pilgrim]

Originally posted by joshua
Ditto to Jacob and Patrick.

 

[Scott Bushey]

Colleen,
Dad won't step up to the plate???

 

[MeanieCalvinist]

Originally posted by Pilgrim

Originally posted by joshua
Ditto to Jacob and Patrick.

 

[LadyFlynt]

Originally posted by Scott Bushey
Colleen,
Dad won't step up to the plate???

I talked with hubby again tonight and explained how far this is going with his son putting the pieces together and really trying to fit this last one. I had two episodes of his trying to figure things out just today...one in the middle of walmart, nothing like tellng your son he needs to not say the word 'sperm' in public...and one when grandma nearly gave him a book not knowing a reproduction section for kids was in it.

Hubby says he's going to take care of it, but he has been keeping an eye on this thread for advice. It's almost surreal that our son is this old already!!! I'm going to be a wreck when he marries! A happy wreck, but a wreck nonetheless.

I agree that direct and honest is best...but as a female, I of course prefer dad to do it...thankfully he will. It was just the timing thing. I know what to watch for with girls, and as mom I'm around the children more and sometimes moms have to clue dad in when a child is growing up faster than they thought. With my son, I know his mind is pretty mature...but I don't know how far off the rest is...I figure if his mind has this nearly worked out, then he isn't too far off from needing a talk.

[Edited on 4-4-2006 by LadyFlynt]

 

[SolaScriptura]

We´ve had some situations that have sort of forced our hand earlier than we expected. Our son is 5 and we catechize on a nightly basis. Well, one night, after I asked "œWho made you?" he totally skipped the answer, which he knows like the back of his hand, and he asked me, "œHow did God make me?" He was already aware that babies grow in mommy´s "œbelly." Now"¦ before I explain how I answered, let me back up and give some other info:
1. About 2 years ago we had an incident in which a friend of his (who is a couple years older than he) had my son and a couple other boys pull down their pants so she could look at their "œpee pees." Ever since then we´ve made it a point of saying that we only show our private parts to our spouse"¦ we´ve used this argument to explain why mommy and daddy don´t get naked in front of the kids.
2. About a year ago my son got in the habit of "œplaying" with himself in the bath. I added to our previous teaching (that we only show our privates to our spouse) by saying that God gave us our privates so that we could give a gift to our spouse and that our privates weren´t meant for us to give to ourselves.
3. All along, my wife and I kiss and hug in front of the kids. While we don´t get obscene in front of our kids we certainly don´t hide our sexuality from them. We want them to have memories of mommy and daddy enjoying each other.

So"¦ when our son asked "œhow did God make me?" I told him that when mommy and daddy wanted to share our privates with each other, since God gave them to us to use as a gift for each other, then daddy put his penis in mommy´s vagina and then (here´s where I was a little more basic than your son would probably need) God took the part of (my son) which was in me and put it in mommy´s body where that part joined with the part of (my son) which was in her and then the two parts came together and grew and grew in mommy´s womb until God was all finished making his body.
Then my son said, "œOh." And then we went on with the catechism.

 

[~~Susita~~]

Oh my, how awkward! That is one thing I am not looking forward to telling my kids when I get married and have them. I'll pray for you and your DH! But I definitely agree with previous statements, it's best to be honest now otherwise he may try to find out on his own and that could be dangerous.

 

[Pergamum]

Here's a related question...

When should we stop showering and/or changing in front of our infant son? He is 18 months and likes to jump in the shower with us and write on the walls with the crayons. When is this behavior "weird"? When should he stop bathing with mommy or daddy? This is our first baby and we are clueless and are sort of weirded out over asking anyone from our church...

 

[LadyFlynt]

Originally posted by trevorjohnson
Here's a related question...

When should we stop showering and/or changing in front of our infant son? He is 18 months and likes to jump in the shower with us and write on the walls with the crayons. When is this behavior "weird"? When should he stop bathing with mommy or daddy? This is our first baby and we are clueless and are sort of weirded out over asking anyone from our church...

Before they get to the remembering stage. Personally, I don't make a big issue out of it, but by the time they are two they need to leave the room so momma and daddy can dress. Starting with the potty...once potty trained then it's time to "give momma privacy" when momma has to go (when you have more children then you will teach them this with their siblings BEFORE they are potty trained as they will need to give their siblings "privacy"). The only time I shower with any child is in the middle of the night when dealing with a toddler with croup as that is what is reccomended by most pediatricians.

 

[LadyFlynt]

Has anyone read or seen any of these books?

http://www.queenhomeschool.com/
http://tinyurl.com/lwola

 

[Ivan]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
I talked with hubby again tonight and explained how far this is going with his son putting the pieces together and really trying to fit this last one.

"His" son...funny and cute.

Yup, let Dad do the honors and better sooner than later, because later may be too late.

 

[Semper Fidelis]

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
Has anyone read or seen any of these books?

http://www.queenhomeschool.com/
http://tinyurl.com/lwola

Boy! Lots of choices there. By the end of reading all of those books you could write your own.

I liked what Ben mentioned. By age 10 it seems a child ought to be ready for his father to explain both the biology and significance of the marriage bed. Unfortunatly for me, by age 9, I knew the process from peers.

Unless one is going to prohibit the reading of certain portions of Scripture then it is impossible to avoid sexual activity. God uses adulterous and graphic language to describe Israel and kids eventually ask what a Prostitute is. I think we can be candid with our children about the sanctity of marriage early and often and train modesty in them. I don't think we need to be afraid that explaining things to them with respect and gratitude for what God has created will damage them.

 

[MeanieCalvinist]

Originally posted by Ivan

Originally posted by LadyFlynt
I talked with hubby again tonight and explained how far this is going with his son putting the pieces together and really trying to fit this last one.

"His" son...funny and cute.

Yup, let Dad do the honors and better sooner than later, because later may be too late.

Very good advice.. I believe that Dad should be the one to explain this to his son.