Question for a friend

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Puritan Board Freshman
My best friend is getting married in November- can’t wait for this day

Here’s a quick summary of what his wife is feeling weighed down by:

Her father has never been a big part of her life. He called her probably twice a month since she’s been about 10 (parents are divorced) and occasionally will stop by to say hello. Her step dad on the other hand stepped into her life and took the role of her father. She basically considers him her dad, but still kept in touch with her real dad.

So, she has been debating, would it be rude to only ask her step dad to walk her down the isle? Or, should she ask both because technically they are both her dad and that should be a moment shared between them.

Basically, she doesn’t want to carry any baggage to the alter and feels that if she doesn’t ask her real dad to walk her, she would be hurting his feelings.

Has anyone had two dad’s walk their wife down the isle?

Scott Bushey

Puritanboard Commissioner
I see no issue with both of her 'Dads' walking her down the aisle. Her 'step' may be offended, if he has been overseeing her life for a good season of time and the paternal, has been missing in action. Tough call.


Puritanboard Commissioner
My best friend is getting married in November- can’t wait for this day

Here’s a quick summary of what his wife is feeling weighed down by:

I would have thought his wife was being weighed down by the fact that her husband is getting married in a few months.


Puritan Board Professor
Wouldn't the head of her household give her away on behalf of 'father/mother'? Seems to be what the bible says to me.


Puritan Board Sophomore
My step daughter is engaged and faces a similar predicament. She really wants me to give her away, but she doesn't want to offend her bio-dad. I essentially raised her but, as I told her, It would be a joy to walk her down the aisle. However, I would not be offended in the least if I didn't. I want to ease the burden for her by removing a potential source of drama. I still don't know what her decision will be but I'll be okay with whatever it is. The thing that is most important to me is that we were able to discuss it because she knows she can openly come to me about these things.

Alan D. Strange

Puritan Board Senior
Are they being married by a sound minister of the gospel? This is something that should be worked out with him in their pre-marital counseling.

There are possible variables that preclude a clear-cut answer given what we here know. All things being equal, the father (whether it's her biological or step) in the household from which she comes should do it. It may be the case, however, that her household involves an impenitent adulterous relationship and the biological father (assuming that she's living with mom and the step) was the innocent party. If this were the case it might change things.

The point is, unless we know all the facts, we can't properly assess the situation. This should be done at close hand by competent pastor(s) and elders, especially the one providing pre-marital counseling.

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