Question About Family Closeness

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Ryan&Amber2013

Puritan Board Senior
Hello everyone.

I need some wisdom to be the best dad I can be. This question is really for those who have successfully raised children, or who know the secrets of wisdom from those who have.

What is the best way to ensure that children when they grow up, will continue to have a loving, tenderhearted, warm, and close relationship with their parents? We currently have this with our three young children, and it's such a beautiful thing. Even when they are adults, I still want to have a sweet closeness with them. How can I best ensure this? Is it as simple as continuing to model everything for them that I want them to be, along with prayer? Thanks so much!
 

Miss Marple

Puritan Board Junior
God uses means. Without idolizing the means, you should utilize them.

Firstly have a genuine and joyful faith in Christ that is apparent to all.

Secondly be faithful in daily devotions with the kids. These should be a happy family time not a stern grilling event.

Thirdly utilize the catechism. Learn it with your children.

Fourthly faithfully attend worship and involve yourselves in the life of the church. Participate and minister.

Fifthly provide them with a Christian education.
 

Sovereign Grace

Puritan Board Freshman
God uses means. Without idolizing the means, you should utilize them.

Firstly have a genuine and joyful faith in Christ that is apparent to all.

Secondly be faithful in daily devotions with the kids. These should be a happy family time not a stern grilling event.

Thirdly utilize the catechism. Learn it with your children.

Fourthly faithfully attend worship and involve yourselves in the life of the church. Participate and minister.

Fifthly provide them with a Christian education.
Wonderful!!! Just wonderful!!
 

Stephen L Smith

Administrator
Staff member
the secrets of wisdom from those who have.
One of the best things you can do is do a full study of Biblical wisdom. There is a lovely book that helps you do a full study of wisdom in the book of Proverbs. It is designed so that you can write a journal and leave it as a legacy to your children. Highly recommended.
Thirdly utilize the catechism. Learn it with your children.
Pastor Wes Bredenhof (a fellow member of the PB) has a helpful article on how to teach your children the catechism
 

Elizabeth

Puritan Board Sophomore
Miss Marple has laid out some excellent suggestions. Utilize them.

But also know that your children will grow into adults who will follow their own path. You can't ensure anything.

Our society is hell-bent (said literally) in ensuring that the family is a mess of foment and discord. God may bring them through this time easily, or not. Prepare for that, and do not be shocked if it happens. Do not take it PERSONALLY, as we often do. You leave them to God, both in times of sweetness and in times of emotional pain.

Never, ever idolize that sweetness you now know with your children. That leads nowhere good. Keep a sensible view of their human nature, and you will be prepared for whatever comes down the road with them. Your good (and theirs!) is not in familial sweetness and closeness, but in God. We SO very easily idolize our families. Our Lord tells us straight that we are not to do so. I often think that family as portrayed in Scripture is much more often a sticky, difficult, even heart-rending thing than a thing of sweetness and joy and comfort. Keep that in mind.

God will have no idols in our lives, even our own flesh and blood.
 

iainduguid

Puritan Board Junior
One of the best pieces of counsel we received was to find out what your kids love to do and do it with them, rather than requiring them to enter your world. That led my wife to join Civil Air Patrol with our boys, and me to engage in learning how to fence (with swords, not timber) and something about astronomy and birds.
 

Edward

Puritanboard Commissioner
Don't be their best friend, be their parent. Discipline as needed. Expect some rough teenage years.
 
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