VirginiaHuguenot
Puritanboard Librarian
I'd like for this thread to be a compilation of Puritan quotes on marriage (for purposes of this thread, Martin Luther, Charles Spurgeon and others in that vein may be considered "honourary Puritans" ) or quotes about the Puritans on marriage. Please feel free to add additional Puritan quotes on marriage.
Richard Baxter:
Matthew Henry:
Thomas Hooker:
Henry Smith:
William Gouge:
Westminster Assembly:
Richard Steele:
Thomas Gataker:
Margaret Winthrop, wife of John Winthrop:
James Reid, Memoirs of the Westminster Divines, re Thomas Case:
[Edited on 7-28-2006 by VirginiaHuguenot]
Richard Baxter:
Direct. IV. Husband and wife must delight in the love and company, and lives of each other. When husband and wife take pleasure in each other, it unites them in duty, it helps them with ease to do their work, and bear their burdens; and is a major part of the comfort of marriage. [Prov 5.18,19]
Matthew Henry:
(Note) that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.
Thomas Hooker:
The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he loves...dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye and apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at the table, walks with her when he travels...She lies in his bosom, and his heart trusts in her, which forceth all to confess that the stream of his affection, like a mighty current, runs with full tide and strength.
Henry Smith:
Man is to his wife in the place of Christ to his church.
William Gouge:
Of an husband's entire affection to his wife
An husband's affection to his wife must be answerable to his opinion of her: he ought therefore to delight in his wife entirely, that is, so to delight in her as wholly and only delighting in her. In this respect the Prophet's wife is called the "desire" (Ez.24:16), or delight, or pleasure of his eyes: that wherein he most of all delighted, and therefore by a propriety so called. Such delight did Isaac take in his wife as it drove out a contrary strong passion, namely the grief which he took for the departure of his mother: for it is noted that "he loved her, and was comforted after his mother's death." (Gen.24:67)
This kind of affection Solomon doth elegantly set forth in these words, "Rejoice with the wife of thy youth: Let her be as the loving Hind, and pleasant Roe, and be thou ravished always with her love." (Prov.5:18 & 19) Here note both the metaphors,also ravished always with her love." (Prov. 5:18 & 19) Here note the metaphors, and also the hyperbole which are used to set forth an husband's delight in his wife. In the metaphors again note both the creatures whereunto a wife is resembled, and also the attributes given to them. The creatures are two, an Hind and a Roe, which are the females of an Hart and a Roe-Buck: now it is noted of the Hart and Roe-Buck, that of all other beasts they are most enamored (as I may so speak) with their mates, and even mad again in their heat and desire after them.
These metaphors hath Solomon used to set forth that unfained and earnest, entire and ardent affection which an husband ought to bear unto his wife: which being taken in a good sense, and rightly applied, so as they exceed not the bounds of Christian modesty and decency, are very fit, and pertinent to the purpose: if we stretch them beyond modesty, we wrong the pen-man of them, or rather the Holy Ghost that directed him, and propound a pernicious pattern unto husbands.
The attributes given to the forenamed creatures much amplify the point: the former is termed a "loving" Hind, the latter a "pleasant" Doe, word for word "an Hind of Loves, a Roe of favor," that is, exceedingly loved and favored: for to set forth the extent of God's love unto his Son, Christ is called the "son of his love". (Col.1:13)
These comparisons applied to a wife, do lively set forth that delight which an husband ought to take in her, and yet is it much further amplified by the hyperbole used in this phrase, "be thou ravished with her love," word, for word, "err thou in her love," by which no sinful error, or dotage is meant, but a lawful earnest affection: implying two things especially: First so far to exceed, as to make a man overlook some such blemishes in his wife, as others would soon espy and mislike; or else to count them no blemishes, delighting in her never a whit the less for them. For example, if a man has a wife, not very beautiful, or proper, but having some deformity in her body, some imperfection in her speech, sight, gesture, or any part of her body, yet so to affect her, and delight in her, as if she were the fairest, and in every way most complete woman in the world. Secondly, so highly to esteem, so ardently to affect, so tenderly to respect her, as others may think him even to doat on her. An husbands affection to his wife cannot be too great if it kept within bounds of honesty, sobriety and comeliness. The wife's affection ought to be great to her husband, yet because of the husbands place of authority, he must especially take all occasions to manifest this his inward affection. Read the Song of Songs, and in it you shall observe such affection manifested by Christ to his Spouse, as would make one think he did (with reverence in an holy manner to use the phrase) even err in his love and doat on her. A good pattern and precedent for husbands. For nothing is more lovely than a good wife.
Westminster Assembly:
Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife;a for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed;b and for preventing of uncleanness.c
a. Gen 2:18. "¢ b. Mal 2:15. "¢ c. 1 Cor 7:2, 9.
Richard Steele:
Loving Each Other. This is both the husband's (Col. 3:19) and the wife's duty (Tit. 2:4). Love is the great reason and comfort of marriage. This love is not merely romance, but genuine and constant affection and care for each other "fervently with a pure heart" (1 Pet. 1:22). Marital love cannot be based on beauty or wealth, for these are passing, and not even on piety, for that may decay. It must be based upon God's command which never changes. The marriage vow obliges "for better or for worse," and married persons ought to consider their own spouses the best in the world for them. Marital love must be durable, lasting even after death has severed the bond (Prov. 31:12). This true-hearted love brings true content and comfort in its train. It guards against adultery and jealousy. It prevents or lessens family trouble. Without it, the marriage is like a bone out of joint. There is pain until it is restored.
Thomas Gataker:
Secondly, the wife is to be an assistant and (a) a yoke fellow to her husband, as in his travels and labours, so in troubles and crosses, if any befall him; (as no mans life lightly is free from them: * No larke without an heele, nor course of life without some crosse or other: ) and that two waies.
By bearing part with him.
And by being a comfort unto him.
First, by bearing part with him. For whereas married persons are subject to many more crosses and casualties then those that leade a single life, in regard their charge is the greater: howsoever the women themselves are not exposed to so many personall encumbrances as men, because their life is more private: Yet, as the Apostle saith of the faithfull Christians, that they were b fellow-partners with him in his afflictions, so ought the wife to bee with the husband in those afflictions that befall him. And surely if all Christians in generall, much more married folkes in speciall ought to c beare either others burdens; If * all Christians must have a fellow-feeling of one anothers suffrings, because d they are all members of one bodie; much more man and wife that are both but e one flesh.
Margaret Winthrop, wife of John Winthrop:
MOST DEAR AND LOVING HUSBAND, I cannot express my love to you, as I desire, in these poor, lifeless lines; but I do heartily wish you did see my heart, how true and faithful it is to you, and how much I do desire to be always with you, to enjoy the sweet comfort of me your presence, and those helps from you in spiritual and temporal duties, which I am so unfit to perform without you. It makes to see the want of you, and wish myself with you. But I desire we may be guided by God in all our ways, who is able to direct us for the best; and so I will wait upon him with patience, who is all-sufficient for me.
James Reid, Memoirs of the Westminster Divines, re Thomas Case:
Mr. Case was eminently distinguished in his relative capacity, and praise-worthy. He had a prudent wife from the Lord; a help meet for him. They lived together nearly forty-five years; and he often said, that in all that time there had been no contention between them, except in this, who should love one another most. They were equally yoked together, being both very pious and affectionate.
[Edited on 7-28-2006 by VirginiaHuguenot]