p0rnography Info in the Church

Discussion in 'General discussions' started by PaulCLawton, Apr 16, 2019.

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  1. PaulCLawton

    PaulCLawton Puritan Board Freshman

    Hello all, would anyone be willing to comment upon experience with holding or attending an information session at a church on the subject of p0rnography? Our church is considering setting aside a weekday evening for our members to show a documentary video, have a short discussion on the subject and make parents (and other adults) aware of available resources such as software filters, books, etc.
  2. Edward

    Edward Puritan Board Doctor

    Our church generally has a program for parents of middle schoolers and high schoolers during the Sunday School hour that deals with the issues. I believe it is offered annually, but it may be less frequent.
  3. psycheives

    psycheives Puritan Board Freshman

    Sounds like a GREAT and worthy cause. I would extend it not just to what general society's definition of p0rn but also to the "lesser forms of p0rn" that females are especially tempted by - shirtless men on magazines, movie stars, musicians, romance books. Example: The girls have spent billions on Justin Bieber merch speaks alone. They may not watch explicit sexual content, but they are being tempted and falling into lust just the same. And GOT is p0rn!
  4. VictorBravo

    VictorBravo Administrator Staff Member

    GOT = Game of Thrones?

    I had to google the acronym, but I know nothing about it except it's among the hundreds of shows I'd never see.
  5. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    I just read that the average age kids see their first instance of p0rn is age 11.

    If churches are charged with the care of souls, it seems a dereliction of duty if we do not address the major societal problems of our age, one of which is this problem. And yet many churches are either silent or speak in very vague generalities which do not really give much practical help to their people in the pews.
  6. PaulCLawton

    PaulCLawton Puritan Board Freshman

    Edward, are you willing to share the details of the program?
  7. PaulCLawton

    PaulCLawton Puritan Board Freshman

    This is more or less our consistory's opinion also, though the practical matter of exactly what to show, say and do is proving a little more difficult.
  8. littlepeople

    littlepeople Puritan Board Freshman

    I'm interested too. I don't think it's uniquely a problem for teens either.
  9. PaulCLawton

    PaulCLawton Puritan Board Freshman

    For what it's worth, the documentary Over 18 is being considered for screening in the church, but there is some concern that the content itself (specific descriptions of p0rnography) is too graphic. However, some would say that is what is needed to "wake up" parents to the danger.
  10. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    There's lots of traffic on Facebook about the evils of Game of Thrones, but I think most young men in the US are probably looking at worse things than Game of Thrones.

    "Researchers were conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to p0rnography with regular users.

    But their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it."

    (A Telegraph article - link not included because every article about p0rn, even the ones bashing it, usually have some risque picture in the article itself).
  11. SelfSuspendedDeuteronomy2929

    SelfSuspendedDeuteronomy2929 Puritan Board Freshman

    With or without p0rn very young children (even younger than 11) have been having sex if able to be in unsupervised situations. I am not going to elaborate.

    There is so much more to this story and how our children need to be educated.

    And consider also that in Public Elementary Schools now children are exposed to homosexual agendas even in kindergarten. So how do we get all of the Christian kids out of public school, or prepare them at as young an age as 5 in kindergarten for Homosexual agenda!?

    I have pondered this often wondering how to educate a 5 year old about sex & homosexuality?

    I have no answers.

    I am praying for all of you and your efforts.
  12. psycheives

    psycheives Puritan Board Freshman

    11? Maybe among homeschooled Christian kids. Would be surprised if that were true in general. I think female teeny-bopper fans begin around age 7 and up. Seen enough stories with kids popping babies at age 8 and 10. And all the social medias are full of p0rn. Parents may be in denial.
  13. Pergamum

    Pergamum Ordinary Guy (TM)

    Ugh, I am afraid you might be right.

    I found my 11-year old daughter watching hip-hop videos on youtube. The autoplay went from innocent kids songs to other music to hip-hop to twerking in about 20 minutes time. Now we've instituted a stricter electronic policy, but we've really struggled in this area because we've moved so often and the kids haven't been able to take much of anything else with them (toys, etc).

    We try to raise our kids well, but as soon as we get sick or busy, through electronics, now the world can raise your children 24/7 if you are not eternally vigilant.
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  14. ZackF

    ZackF Puritan Board Graduate

    Exactly. It’s not just the raw sensuality. We’ve stopped our daughter from watching certain kid shows. Caillou comes to mind and we stopped that years ago. What a whinny little jerk.

    I’d rather my daughter see someone shot on NCIS than watch some of these cartoons.
  15. chuckd

    chuckd Puritan Board Sophomore

    I vividly remember a time in youth group growing up where the youth pastor gave a talk on sex, p0rn, etc. Only boys. And then sat us in a circle and passed around pieces of paper to ask any question you want anonymously. Sex is a very personal topic and many are shameful to ask questions. I still remember how helpful that day was. I think the girls did something similar separately.

    My kids are 4 and 2 and I worry frequently about this. I think the best course is to use opendns to block traffic at the router. And no portable devices with access to the internet - only desktop computers in the family room / kitchen.

    I think it would be more helpful to not only talk about explicit content like p0rn, but also temptations - how women dress on grocery store magazines, billboards, TV commercials.

    But of course kids will always seek out and find stuff. You can only do so much within the confines of your own home. Books like Owen's Mortification of Sin teach that temptation and sin is a daily struggle and we must fight it as it's fighting us.
  16. psycheives

    psycheives Puritan Board Freshman

    Just wanted to add two things to what Chuck said. Yes, when we teach about modesty, let us also remember that females struggle tremendously with lust and boys also need to be talked to about how they dress. Can't tell you how many times I've heard the "men can go shirtless cuz females won't lust." BIGGEST LIE. If that were true, shirtless men wouldn't be on every other magazine cover; Justin Bieber/Brad Pitt etc shirtless posters wouldn't sell out of this world; male actors wouldn't be required to go shirtless in movies these days. Help your girls too. I used to have to buy books written for Christian men about lust because people somehow think girls don't struggle with this and aren't visual. Dumbest claim I ever heard.

    Also, when it comes to computers, they will find it because its everywhere. An innocent Google search will come up with that stuff. Video games will for sure take them to websites with those ads. If you give them social media access, it will be everywhere. Social medias don't even take down the p0rn after reported. Full nudity is allowed - they only take down pictures of genitals. Breasts are allowed. Drawings are allowed. Don't be naive about Instagram (so much p0rn), YouTube, Twitter etc. Kids will also get bullied on social media.

    If I had kids, I would teach them the beauty of Godliness and purity. Yes, they could find that stuff. But give them reasons to want to flee from it. Saving one's eyes, heart and first's is a big motive for young people. Once heard a youth pastor tell about saving his first kiss for his wife. He said we could decide for ourselves but he shared his beautiful story. Now that is inspiring.
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  17. Edward

    Edward Puritan Board Doctor

    I thought the target for those were certain men.
  18. hammondjones

    hammondjones Puritan Board Sophomore

    I'm not going to google it at work, but I recall Tim Challies has written a few articles about this subject.
  19. littlepeople

    littlepeople Puritan Board Freshman

    We talked with all of our kids about sex at a young age using material from Covenant Eyes (I think). I'll try to find it and post as it was really good. As far as adults go, the numbers I've encountered are staggering among church folk including officers. Whenever I'm one-on-one with another male, I try to ask how he is doing in his fight so we can exhort one another. Challies and Mark Driscoll have both written useful books on the subject - though not perfect.

    Managing technology goes a long way for little ones, but hard conversations become necessary by 9 or 10 in my opinion. Frankly if they're reading their Bibles, they should have quite a bit of questions already regarding their sexuality.
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  20. timfost

    timfost Puritan Board Junior

    Regardless of what format this topic takes, it is a topic that needs to be addressed often in church. When I teach through a passage and the topic of sexual immorality is addressed by the inspired author, I nearly always talk frankly about p0rnography. This is the easiest modern expression of sexual immorality that faces the church today.

    I also speak frankly about it when I'm counseling young men in the church (probably better for women to address it with young women).

    I'm very thankful that you are addressing this in your church. My only advice is don't address it once and move on, but come back to it frequently.
  21. Dachaser

    Dachaser Puritan Board Professor

    Correct, as among Baptist Pastors, I have read some stats that say that up to 40 % have claimed themselves having to deal with the issue.
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