Puritan Board Doctor
My thoughts regarding this wouldn't apply to children the ages of yours.
When they do these things do you explain how they broke your trust? And give them ways to rebuild it?Every time I think that maybe they could have a little longer leash I am proven wrong.
I've always been pretty liberal with sleep-overs, but I had to know the parents, and the kids who they would be staying the night with, they couldn't just stay the night at any friends house. Even now with my kids being teens, if they are staying the night with someone I always make it a point to get to know the parents. And I am not afraid to ask the parents what activities they are planning, but for the most part my kids know what the activities are before they even ask me, because they know I will be asking.We've decided to set some boundaries very early on for sleep overs and dress. My two little ones are 7 and 5 and the sleep over invites already started.
Not all kids will experiment, even when left alone. When my oldest was in Junior high, she had a friend who was choosing to take boys home with her, and choosing to get involved in drugs. I was a single parent and working full-time, and my daughter knew I didn't get home until late and wouldn't find out if she was going off with her friend and her younger siblings were in afterschool care so she didn't have to watch after them. But she made the choice not to join in those things, and even came to me and told me what was going on while this girls mom was at work.I don't feel I'm overprotective at all, but kids will experiment, older siblings and the opposite sex will experiment, if left alone.
I'm curious, and in no way do I mean any disrespect, I realize you didn't marry her mother, but weren't you actively involved in her life? Didn't you still have some influence in your daughters life? Have you as her father met her boyfriend? Have you held him accountable for how he treats her? And the liberities he takes with her? Have you taken the time to share with her how precious and valuable she is as God's creation? And that she will one day be a gift wrapped up in her wedding gown from God to her husband? A gift that you will probably walk down the aisle and present her to her future husband, knowing how he treats her now, would you be able to trust him to care for and protect her in a lifelong marriage?I do have a daughter that is graduating high school today. She was given way to many freedoms from her mother. We were never married. And she has done pretty well, but, her dress is outlandish, and she has too many privileges with her boyfriend. I did talk her into going to a Christian college, but I can only trust in God, pray, and give Godly advice when I can, because I really have no control over that one.