Out-of-wedlock child - now what?

Discussion in 'Family Forum' started by Von, May 26, 2017.

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  1. Von

    Von Puritan Board Freshman

    Would you expect a man and woman (or boy and girl) with an illegitimate child to marry? I always thought this was a no-brainer, until one of our pastors challenged my view.
     
  2. Parakaleo

    Parakaleo Puritan Board Sophomore

    If one is a believer and the other is not, it would be sin for the believer to marry the nonbeliever.
     
  3. KMK

    KMK Administrator Staff Member

    A pastor would need so much more information than this to counsel them one way or the other.


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  4. arapahoepark

    arapahoepark Puritan Board Graduate

    How was your view challenged?
     
  5. Von

    Von Puritan Board Freshman

    Well, I never thought it was an option NOT to marry in these circumstances (I know this sounds very naive to me now), but I see now that it is a "wisdom-issue" that should take many things into account.
     
  6. Edward

    Edward Puritanboard Commissioner

    Well, step one for the guy should be a DNA test. Even if he 'knows' he is responsible.

    Step two, if the results are positive, is to take financial responsibility.

    And step three is to take moral responsibility and man up.
     
  7. KeithW

    KeithW Puritan Board Freshman

    From a non-Christian perspective, according to Larry Elder, a black conservative, the number one Black issue in America is not racism, it is that the amount of Black children raised without fathers has increased from 25% in 1965 to 75% now. No father in the family is terrible for children. He concludes with what Edward says, "man up".

    You could start at 4:30 of this 8 minute video.
    The Moment LARRY ELDER changed DAVE RUBINS Mind Forever (Systemic Racism)
     
  8. KMK

    KMK Administrator Staff Member

    Did I miss something? What makes you think that one or more persons in this scenario is black?
     
  9. chuckd

    chuckd Puritan Board Sophomore

    I don't think he does. Just a secular perspective of how fatherless children perpetuate poverty, crime, etc. Blacks in particular have been plagued by this. A father and mother raising their children together naturally generates wealth and stability.
     
  10. Dachaser

    Dachaser Puritan Board Doctor

    Yes, as there would be a desire to marry, but would have to be like minded as concerning Jesus and things of the Faith, not just to marry as expected thing to do. saying this, the father is still obligated to provide for child and to be there whule growing up even if not married...
     
  11. KeithW

    KeithW Puritan Board Freshman

    Correct. The figure for whites is now up to 25% with no father in the home. The correlation between no father figure in the home and future bad social behavior is well documented.

    Nothing in the original question indicated that either one was a Christian, but people have been assuming this is true so I will assume so also. The sin of fathering a child out of wedlock has already been committed. That father is already yoked to that mother. Being the father through the raising of the child is now his responsibility, and I don't mean just financially or from a distance.

    If you look at King David, God forgave him because David repented. But God did not take away the responsibility and consequences of David's sin. Looking for a verse in the Bible which says do not be unequally yoked to give the man permission to distance himself from his responsibility compounds his sin. And it also can drastically hurt who that child will become. As long as the mother allows the father to marry her, so much more could be demonstrated in that Christian man's life if he from then on follows Christ, including demonstrating the Biblical concepts of responsibility and love.

    Very good point. If the original question was not a hypothetical one then real complex people are involved.
     
  12. Edward

    Edward Puritanboard Commissioner

    No one made any such suggestion. The fact that blacks are essentially a generation ahead of whites in this wrongdoing suggests that whites can learn from the example.
     
  13. KMK

    KMK Administrator Staff Member

    Sorry, I didn't catch on to the fact that the OP was hypothetical. Carry on.
     
  14. VictorBravo

    VictorBravo Administrator Staff Member

    Finally I can claim vanguard status for my little region! (Sadly).

    Our rural county is probably 99.5% white. I'm a public defender here in the "Valley." I calculated last year that approximately 70% of my adult felony clients and 89% of my juvenile clients had non-married parents. Less than 5% of my dependency case load involves married parents.

    But even among the "normal" people I meet in our valley, it is almost a surprise to find families with married parents, especially in the 21-35 age cohort.

    The religious demographics are primarily Roman Catholic, Mormon, with a substantial SDA presence. Evangelicals are a minority. Broadly "Reformed" types are so insignificant that they wouldn't make a line on a pie-chart.

    It's a strange world, and getting stranger almost by the month.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2017
  15. SolamVeritatem

    SolamVeritatem Puritan Board Freshman

    Edward,

    If, in a perfect world, you could rewrite the post reply above, would you word it differently or would you leave it the same?

    Just curious...

    In Him,

    Craig
     
  16. Edward

    Edward Puritanboard Commissioner

    Here, I'd leave it the same. In other settings, I might be more blunt, or at least use historic legal terminology that I'm quite sure would give offense to some here.
     
  17. SolamVeritatem

    SolamVeritatem Puritan Board Freshman

    Understood.

    Grace to you.

    Craig
     
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