Odd question about marriage on the Sabbath

[BaptistPuritan]

Okay this is an odd question, but I wanted to hear thoughts from much wiser men and women than I. Is getting married on a Lord's day sinful or bad? What would be wrong with it? What would be right with it? I think ya got the idea. Any comments are much appreciated as long as they are sure biblical they are most welcome. Thanks

 

[AThornquist]

In my opinion, it ought to be done a different day of the week. Much work and concentration would go into the marriage rather than rest and worship. Marriage is good, but treating the Lord's day as the Lord's day is better.

 

[Frosty]

Although I may not be one "wiser" than you, I will jump in and say that I would concur with Andrew in saying that it ought to be done a different day of the week. I know that this is sometimes a thought because weddings are often cheaper if held on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon. Is there some reason why the individual would need, in his/her opinion, to be married on a Sunday?

To give a general answer, no, one should not get married on a Sunday as I would fear it would be a distraction from the Lord's Day.

 

[Grimmson]

I have a couple things to say on this issue.
1) If this is an issue for the guy being married then he needs to initially talk to his soon to be wife and the minister conducting the ceremony first. And in that order. In that discussion views of the Lord’s Day needs to be considered and addressed, also another issue of consideration is how is that going to set up the marriage relationship to begin with in regards to the worship and glorifying of God.

2) I would actually prefer people to go to a Christian wedding compared to other practices that go on during the Lord’s Day; such as the watching of organized sports, reading works of fiction, or/and going to a eating establishment.

3) The reason for this is due to the nature of the Lord’s Day to celebrate the Lord. I think this is a good chance for the couple, to do even at the start of their marriage, to not focus on theirselves but instead point to that God bring the two of them together.

4) The Gospel, which granted can be presented any day of the week, is given specially that day and in the wedding service and have that wedding service serve as an illustration of the relationship of Christ and his bride, the Church universal. This does not eliminate the resting nature to individual church members, but instead adds to the celebration of the grace of God to us. Therefore not placing the attention of the bride unto herself, but instead on what God has done to unite this couple.

5) Due to the nature of such a celebration it may be better to do it on Sunday compared to Saturday, whereby the bride and groom may be tired the next day due to the celebration.

6) Sunday serves also to symbolize the start of their new life together as husband and wife, since Sunday is the first day of the week. It can also point to the new life we have in Christ, as he is our husband, our head.

7) “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, Six days you shall labor and on the seventh you shall rest but the aseventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the bsojourner who is within your gates.” Exodus 20: 8-10 The previous 6 days needed to be a day of work. The seventh is the day of celebration, where we celebrate the Lord. In the Jewish culture you couldn’t get married the day before the Sabbath because the husband would have been unclean due to intercourse with his new wife. This is based on Lev. 15. If you are unclean then you could not worship God in the Temple. Therefore, sex in general could not be committed that night before worship of the next day (day in our sense and not theirs). Now the question of course is ask is if one in Jewish culture be married on the Sabbath and then consummate that marriage that night, which would begin the start of a new day? I don’t have the answer to the question there and would be one I would suggest you explore. Marriage is good and honors God, it is a creational ordinance, just like the Sabbath is a creational ordinance. Since marriage is a creational ordinance then it is also holy by God, and is to produce holy offspring.

Now there are negative points to consider:
1) The focus turns to the new husband and bride then on Christ, whereby the celebration is towards the people and not what God has done to unite them. Therefore due honor is not given to God.

2) Man and woman were created on the sixth day and not on the seventh, which is the Sabbath. On a side note, the Lev. 15 law would probably not apply in the marriage of Adam and Eve due to the fact it communicates the depravity of man. Of course another question to consider is if Adam and Eve fell on a Saturday, which has some implications if the naming of Eve and the clothing of her with Adam is symbolically a reconstitution of the marriage of Adam and his wife, with the divorce taking place in Gen 3:12 as has been suggested from one of my professors when I took Pentateuch.

3) Marriage is a common grace intuition and not a sacrament of the covenant of grace, which sacraments of the covenant of grace are to be practiced as elements of our worship before God on Sunday. Therefore this becomes an RPW issue within the church.

4) Since marriage is part of common grace then, wisdom must be practiced on which of the designed work days in which one could be married if it is considered to be part of the activities of common work (going back to Exo. 20). Due to this point I would recommend looking at Jewish wedding practices and see what they have to say about what days are permissible to get married and why. I would do the research myself, but I do not have the time.

In the end, speak to your bride to be and your pastor. It would be interesting to hear what your pastor thinks about when the ceremony should take place. And don’t feel as if your stuck on a marriage date. If you in the end thinks it is sinful then in your good conscience switch the date and explain it to your bride to be.

 

[TimV]

Perhaps some expert on Reformed confessional law will chime in, but I doubt that there are any confessional prohibitions against lawful oaths on the Lord's day.

If there aren't, just do it if your conscience allows.

 

[Kevin]

A wedding is a matter of oaths, and oaths are properly a part of our Sabbath worship.

 

[Dearly Bought]

Here's the viewpoint of the Westminster Standards, with which I concur.

...Therefore the minister, having had convenient warning, and nothing being objected to hinder it, is publickly to solemnize it in the place appointed by authority for publick worship, before a competent number of credible witnesses, at some convenient hour of the day, at any time of the year, except on a day of publick humiliation. And we advise that it be not on the Lord's day.
(The Directory for the Publick Worship of God)

 

[PuritanCovenanter]

Thanks. I have never looked at 'The Directory of the Publick Worship of God'. I have something new (fresh for me) to examine. I am still a novice in a lot of things.

 

[FenderPriest]

To me, the practical demands of a wedding would make me advise a different day of the week, and in America, that's typically Saturday (or Friday for some). I'm not sure I would denounce somebody for getting hitched on Sunday, but it just seems a little out of sink with all that goes into a wedding. I mean, weddings are all day affairs, and what church would really want that happening while they're attempting to administrate a regular worship service on the same day? Not fun. Weddings are fun, make it on a day that won't make it unfun.

 

[Tripel]

Is getting married on a Lord's day sinful or bad?

No, it's not.

 

[he beholds]

Our church has married people during the Worship service on the Lord's Day. We weren't there yet, but apparently the service was normal except they called the couple up at some point and they said their vows. There was no real extra preparation needed--similar to a baptism, I guess.
I guess that's better than eloping if you aren't interested in a big celebration/ceremony. I believe that there was a Fellowship meal that was already scheduled that they used to celebrate during, but from what I hear, it was not like a real wedding reception or anything.

 

[Croghanite]

PuritanCovenanter:

Also see the rest of the Westminster standards.
The Standards and Confession of Faith of the Westminster Assembly of Divines

 

[jwithnell]

Should the Directory of Public Worship be taken as part of the Westminster standards, or should it be viewed as a logical (and practical) outworking similar to our modern books of church order? If it is not binding, my thought would be that a short, quiet taking of wedding vows during a Sunday service would be entirely proper. Having the kind of extravaganza that now makes up wedding would not be.

 

[Kevin]

The reason that a modern wedding is not seen to "fit" into a Sunday, may say more about the modern celebration of nuptials then we intend.

A wedding of the style that our g-parents celebrated in North America & Great Britain pre-1950 (say) were very different from what we know now.

 

[Osage Bluestem]

Is the courthouse even open on Sunday?

j/k

 

[Rev. Todd Ruddell]

Given that the Divines would have held to a minimalist ceremony, especially compared to today's standards, and that they strongly recommended that even those minimalist ceremonies ought not to be held on the Lord's Day, it would seem to strengthen the desire they had for sanctifying the Lord's Day as the Christian Sabbath. There would be unnecessary distractions from the Worship of God, and the works of necessity and mercy. A work of necessity would be defined as a work that "could not" be performed either the day before or after. A wedding then, it would seem, could not be a work of necessity.

 

[BaptistPuritan]

Thank you all for responding. I would like to reply to each of you, but that would take a lot of time. First I would like to thank David Jolley (Grimmson) for your lengthy and thoughtful response. After review of all the post I still haven't come to a stance. Nevertheless I do not see it as a sin to get married on the Lords day per se it could hinder worship of the Lord. On another hand if there was no real preparation for the wedding and on that Sunday there is a lunch after words (as my home church has an agape lunch at the 1st of every month) and there was a sermon and the Pastor explained marriage in a biblical context (and of course hopefully preach the gospel because there would possibly be lots of unsaved people there) I think it may be a good thing. But again I see both sides and I still can't decided. I must speak with my pastor. And just to note I do have a girlfriend, but I have not asked her to marry me. I was just curious.... Thank you all again for taking your time in responding. If you have any more thoughts please feel free to post them.

 

[BertMulder]

In the Dutch reformed churches marriages would traditionally have been conducted also on the Lord's Day, as part of a regular worship service, much as the sacraments, confessions, installations, etc. are part of the regular worship service. Should add that in the Netherlands the marriage is made up of 2 parts, the actual legal marriage, in front of a magistrate at city hall, and the confirmation of such in the church. So actually the marriage was performed during the week, together with the festivities, for the confirmation in church to often take place on Sunday. The liturgical form for marrriage also reflects such.

Nowadays, however that is generally not done anymore, and both parts are usually done on the same day.