Logical fallacies that parents commit

[LittleFaith]

Entomological fallacy - "There's a dead bug on the floor. I'll get to it soon. Surely they know not to pick it up and eat it."

Reductio ad absorbem - "This diaper is mostly dry. I'm sure it'll be fine for another hour."

Post hock ergo propter hock - "The baby already spit up three times this morning. It can't possibly spit up any more so I can let my guard down now."

Contributions welcome from those who know.

 

[CovenantPatriot87]

Entomological fallacy - "There's a dead bug on the floor. I'll get to it soon. Surely they know not to pick it up and eat it."

Reductio ad absorbem - "This diaper is mostly dry. I'm sure it'll be fine for another hour."

Post hock ergo propter hock - "The baby already spit up three times this morning. It can't possibly spit up any more so I can let my guard down now."

Contributions welcome from those who know.

These must be new parents

 

[Jack K]

Clearly, you've only made it to the toddler stage. Wait until you fall for the Empty Nest Deception - "Once my kids go off to college, my work as a parent will get easier."

 

[Solparvus]

Non Sequitur - Because the first child abandoned the toy, therefore they will have absolutely no interest when the sibling picks it up ten minutes later. They weren't "still playing with it."

 

[dsanch1120]

Clearly, you've only made it to the toddler stage. Wait until you fall for the Empty Nest Deception - "Once my kids go off to college, my work as a parent will get easier."

Wait… do you mean…. It won’t just be cruises and extravagances?

 

[greenbaggins]

Fallacy of the undistributed middle: "I won't get fat in various parts of my body if we do takeout on a regular basis because I don't have time to cook for the kids."

Fallacy of Irrelevants: "Surely the kids will not mess with a fire-ant colony!"

Fallacy of Ad Backulum: "If I let my kids ride on my back, there will be a time when they want me to stop."

Fallacy of Compostition: "The kids won't play in the compost heap, will they?"

Fallacy of the False Bikotomy: "The one kid won't be jealous if we get a bike for the other kid, will he?"

 

[MyCrows]

Law of non-contrasticktion - Surely our 10 year old son won't get stuck to both fly straps if we hang two up... I mean if he gets stuck in one, he'll know to leave them alone...

 

[ZackF]

Recency Bias - today went well for the child. Tomorrow will be the same.

Argument ad feminum- Daddy, you are not a girl.

 

[pgwolv]

I don't have children of my own, but...

Equivocation - Thinking that raising a child is as easy as any other job.

Slippery slope - See Reductio ad absorbem in Post #1

Circular reasoning - Believing that, as your child miraculously fit the square peg in the square hole, they will also know where the round peg goes.

Fallacy of many questions - Thinking getting them to talk is the hard part; quite the opposite!

Cherry picking - Getting them to use a tissue instead.

Argument from silence - Thinking that if the child is quiet, it's a good sign.

 

[Solparvus]

Ad finitum - Surely I've counteracted all their excuses by now!

 

[LittleFaith]

Ad huminem - "They're humming and cooing so nicely. Why mess with a good thing? No need to go in and check on them."

Red earring - "Sure, I'm wearing something sparkly/blingy/exorbitantly pricey, but as long as I keep them distracted they won't attempt to destroy it."

Quantum Interactions - The notion that a baby acting spontaneously and unobserved will exhibit the same behavior under observation, in the presence of onlookers and/or a video recording device.

Singing Frog - Similar to Quantum Interactions; the notion that once a charming behavior has been reported, the baby will gladly verify the report by repeating the action on command, proving the truthfulness of the parents.

 

[pgwolv]

Special pleading - When the teacher phones you about your child's behaviour, mistakenly thinking that your child is the exception to mankind's state of fallenness.

 

[ZackF]

The Sunk Cost-More Fallacy- "Daddy, since I am spending the $20 I saved on the toy, you pay for the rest."

Reversion to You're-Mean - Her: Daddy can I read for a while? Me: No, it's too late. We have a big day tomorrow. Her: I promise to get up on time. Me: Thank you. Her: Can, I read then? Me: No, you may not. Her: You're mean.