Life advice for a single man
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ChristianLibertarian
Puritan Board Freshman
It depends on what you can afford. 10% is a good number to start at. In a 401k you can put $19,500 in this year, which is pre-tax. (Ie it reduces your taxable income this year by 19500 or whatever you put in below that amount) If you don't have a 401k at work, you can put up to, I think, $6k in a Roth IRA but that money is post-tax. The benefit is that the money in a Roth won't be taxed once you can start to withdraw at 59.5. I think most financial advisors recommend a mix of 401k and Roth investing.
retroGRAD3
Puritan Board Senior
I would say finding someone who is reformed (holds to the WCF or LBCF or 3 Forms) is a good idea. In your case, it is likely also important they are a baptist, otherwise when children arrive there could be some very large disagreements. Beyond that, look for traits in their life and action that would demonstrate the fruit of the Holy Spirit (that they are in fact a believer beyond just stating they are).
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Really That's interesting. So would you suggest even putting $50 a month to be a good starting point since my budget is very tight after deciding go back to school
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Wow this is great thank you. I thought about that it would be very difficult. What are some non conditionals you hold to when it comes to a future spouse of you don't mind me asking?
ChristianLibertarian
Puritan Board Freshman
Absolutely. You'll need the money in retirement and it will grow significantly through the years.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Also can I ask a personal question? There is a guy who goes to my men's Bible study and attends church off and on and it turns out that he is living with a woman who's not a Christian and he has children by her he's been doing this for several years our leadership has prevented him from taking the Lord's supper and being baptized as well as holding any office in the church. This same person wants to fellowship with me and a few other believers how do I interact with this person what should I do? I am a little confused since my pastor has encouraged me to spend time with him even calling it fellowship off and on I'm kind of stuck I've looked at 1st Corinthians 15 does this mean I don't have any interaction with him what should I do?
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Would you say primarily I should avoid buying individual stocks limiting that and just mixing between index fund and mutual funds? What resources would you recommend I dive into to learn more about this subject?
ChristianLibertarian
Puritan Board Freshman
A financial planner is a better person to ask than me. My planner manages everything for me other than my new 401k, even there they told me which mutual fund to go with. I wouldn't do individual stocks but would go with a solid mutual fund that has a history of growth. What that is I couldn't tell you, I pay people to come up with what's best.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Thank you so much sir for your wisdom. May I ask a personal question? Also can I ask a personal question? There is a guy who goes to my men's Bible study and attends church off and on and it turns out that he is living with a woman who's not a Christian and he has children by her he's been doing this for several years our leadership has prevented him from taking the Lord's supper and being baptized as well as holding any office in the church. This same person wants to fellowship with me and a few other believers how do I interact with this person what should I do? I am a little confused since my pastor has encouraged me to spend time with him even calling it fellowship encourage me to engage in this fellowship off and on and I'm kind of stuck I've looked at 1st Corinthians 5 does this mean I don't have any interaction with him what should I do?
ChristianLibertarian
Puritan Board Freshman
If the guy is shacking up with his baby mama and won't marry her, I don't see any reason to fellowship with such a person. He is living in gross sin. I wouldn't go out of my way to shun such a person (absent excommunication) but I also wouldn't make it a point to hang out with him either. It's an odd position that your pastor is taking. You might want to consult your elders.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
I have and they agree he's an unbeliever and it's wrong but they see no issue in him attending But they seem fine about letting him come to men's Bible study and the other believers seem fine going to fellowship with him. But I just think what would a new convert say what would an unbeliever say. He thinks that I can be a good influence on this guy. But to me everyone's talk to him and he just is so justified as I was talking to him last night the excuses he was using that he can save her he can be a good example he can lead her to Christ and teacher the scriptures and all these other excuses. He's hardened and he won't listen to anybody but still he comes to the study and and he was asking me to be patient with him and gave another guys an example. But it just it it bugs me because I I think if an unbeliever truly someone who is not professing Christianity it all comes and to hang out whether to fellowship meeting or the men's Bible study will hear about his lifestyle and that will cause them to excuse their sin.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
I've talked to one of them and one of them said that he encouraged him to move out but he won't do it. Since they think she's not a believer so you shouldn't marry or you should move out. So would you advise that I go to the men's Bible study or not go because of this because this kind of bothers me because we fellowship during that time?
retroGRAD3
Puritan Board Senior
Not sure I understand what you mean by "non-conditionals". Could you define what you mean?
It looks like some of the responses you have gotten already are similar to the advice I would give. It appears the church is treating him as a non-believer and are hoping to win him over. I guess the only thing I might add is that hopefully at some point, the leadership exhorts him to repent and put his faith in Christ. It sounds like this man is currently self-deceived.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Non conditionals as in she must be willing to homeschool things you would be looking for and not Willing to compromise on. Would you socialize with such a person if they insisted they were a believer and required you be patient with them ergo tolerant of their sin and want you to fellowship with him? That's what I was wanting to know? Sorry for the misunderstanding
retroGRAD3
Puritan Board Senior
I guess I would go back to the fruit of the Spirit. If someone practices continuous sin, then I would not associate with them. Trying to find a reformed person specifically (and not just someone who says they are reformed) is already a very difficult task. That will establish a lot of what I am looking for in a woman. By this I mean I would be looking for someone that agrees with the majority of the WCF and for the stuff that she wouldn't I would want to talk through those. If there were whole sections that she disagreed with, then it probably wouldn't work. Outside of theological matters, I am much more open to being different in areas. I would have to take the different things on a case by case basis.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Sometimes terminology can help clarify how to proceed.
If he is not a member of a church, your interactions with him are not "fellowship." Being an encouragement and a friend seeking to turn him is fine and good, but keep him aware that he cannot enjoy church fellowship until he is brought in as a member--complete with fruits of repentance.
I'd also plan on some goad-kicking and teeth-gnashing if you are firm on this.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
retroGRAD3
Puritan Board Senior
I really don't have a way of speaking into your specific situation as I am just some random person on the internet and to give a good answer, I would really need to know both of you personally. My advice would be to talk to your pastor and elders about it. Hopefully they know both of you because that will make things much easier for them to navigate.
No one
Puritan Board Freshman
Oh I am not seeing someone know, I just wanted to ask just in case for the future. Sorry for the confusion
LadyCalvinist
Puritan Board Junior
Here's my two cents: develop an audio/video library. I don't know how much you drive but I love listening to lectures by R.C. Sproul and others. You can download for free some of his work at Sermon Audio, though you should also check out Ligonier Ministries. I have download many sermons and I found it a great blessing. An Audio Bible is a must.
Also, I have had health problems over the last five and at times I really didn't feel like doing anything, fortunately I have some dvd's that I watch. Vision video has a wide selection of material, including documentaries, although they also have some stuff I would not recommend.
If there is community college see adult education classes. I have taken classes on gardening, cooking and computers, and have really enjoyed them.
Also, I have had health problems over the last five and at times I really didn't feel like doing anything, fortunately I have some dvd's that I watch. Vision video has a wide selection of material, including documentaries, although they also have some stuff I would not recommend.
If there is community college see adult education classes. I have taken classes on gardening, cooking and computers, and have really enjoyed them.
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bookslover
Puritan Board Doctor
More advice:
No tofu burgers - real meat only! (Some dreadful human being was talking about kelp burgers the other day.)
No gardening - that's what grocery stores are for.
Take lots of naps!
No tofu burgers - real meat only! (Some dreadful human being was talking about kelp burgers the other day.)
No gardening - that's what grocery stores are for.
Take lots of naps!
bookslover
Puritan Board Doctor
And they say that Baptists don't have a sense of humor!
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