Is it alright to be upset, or is my anger unfounded?

[dhh712]

Practically, it's possible you have a response this year that could actually be helpful to your church rather than just complain-y. What if you went to the leadership, explained that you have a desire to meet with other believers and observe weekly worship on Christmas Day, and asked if they know of any who will be gathering and would welcome you for whatever family/group worship they do that day? It isn't the same as an all-church worship service, but you still would be gathering with other believers—and sometimes you just have to do the best you can.

This might be a positive way to let leadership know you strongly desire to worship on that day. Rather than scold them, invite them to help you be an eager worshiper. It may be that someone in leadership decides to serve you by taking you into their home that day, or they may be encouraged to keep the church open the next time Christmas happens to fall on a Sunday. Pastors often cancel Christmas-Day Sunday services because they've been discouraged in the past by pitiful attendance. Generally, a member who wants to be there is an encouragement to them. Present your case as "I value this church's services and I want to worship," not "You were wrong to cancel services."

Several years ago, my wife and I were part of a church that canceled on Christmas Day. When we heard that schedule, we asked the pastor if we might have a key to the building and open up that morning for any who wanted to join us as we led family worship. Through December, we invited everyone we could (without criticizing the church), and many showed up on Christmas Day—including the pastor and his family. I don't think he felt guilted into coming, but rather encouraged by seeing a desire to worship within the congregation. It wasn't the kind of service we would have liked, but it was better than staying home by ourselves, and it encouraged the church leadership to start thinking differently. Most pastors do want to help members be faithful worshipers.

Perhaps it's too late for you to try something like that this year, but that sort of response may be the best way to go. For that kind of request to truly feel encouraging rather than passive-aggressively scolding, you will need to have an existing reputation with the church leadership as one who is usually grateful and teachable rather than one who is generally a faultfinder. You have to be someone the leadership trusts not to badmouth the church or make the pastor feel he has failed. But that's good, too: it will help you examine your own heart even as you challenge your church leadership.

This is great advice! I hope maybe you will consider if it's not too late--definitely better than the "complain-y" attitude that I definitely would have had a mind to engage in! Always good to consult with others in these kinds of matters.

 

[jwithnell]

As always, I appreciate Jack's gentle answer and see it gives a way forward without fomenting anger. We may want to look at this from another angle. The scriptures give an approach when a brother is in error and I see at least two here.

First, a mark of a true church is the proper handling of the scriptures. We are to avoid missing this occasion unless we are providentially hindered. Illness, severe weather, and protection of life meet that provision.

Secondly we are to keep one day in seven to rest in the marvelous provision God has given. Family events, culturally declared holidays, &etc. cannot preempt this gracious law.

Your leadership needs to know they are going against what the Bible teaches and are weakening the resolve of the congregation to do what's right. (Don't assume this action applies only to Dec. 25. If yuletide ceremonies preempt church, why not family reunions, superbowl Sunday, soccer leagues, &etc?)

 

[davejonescue]

As always, I appreciate Jack's gentle answer and see it gives a way forward without fomenting anger. We may want to look at this from another angle. The scriptures give an approach when a brother is in error and I see at least two here.

First, a mark of a true church is the proper handling of the scriptures. We are to avoid missing this occasion unless we are providentially hindered. Illness, severe weather, and protection of life meet that provision.

Secondly we are to keep one day in seven to rest in the marvelous provision God has given. Family events, culturally declared holidays, &etc. cannot preempt this gracious law.

Your leadership needs to know they are going against what the Bible teaches and are weakening the resolve of the congregation to do what's right. (Don't assume this action applies only to Dec. 25. If yuletide ceremonies preempt church, why not family reunions, superbowl Sunday, soccer leagues, &etc?)

I would take this attitude, that is, they may possibly need to be made aware of their error; but at the same time our Pastor is a Ph.D from a top 5 SBC Seminary, and, most of our leadership have at least a Masters in Theology. These are people who are not ignorant of the Bible, nor of theological matters, so, to me I assume this decision has been thought out and thoroughly justified in their minds, and will be unlikely to change with my disapproval. I did a Facebook search, and did find another church that will be having a regular service that day still in my area; I will be attending it. If I thought for a second this decision stems from an ignorance of scripture, rather than a particular interpretive lens, I would bring it up; but the chance they are likely going to all reconsider their position for my singular complaint is highly unlikely. I still may bring it up in an inquisitive way, just to find out why, and what the basis for their decision is.

 

[Ryan&Amber2013]

I would take this attitude, that is, they may possibly need to be made aware of their error; but at the same time our Pastor is a Ph.D from a top 5 SBC Seminary, and, most of our leadership have at least a Masters in Theology. These are people who are not ignorant of the Bible, nor of theological matters, so, to me I assume this decision has been thought out and thoroughly justified in their minds, and will be unlikely to change with my disapproval. I did a Facebook search, and did find another church that will be having a regular service that day still in my area; I will be attending it. If I thought for a second this decision stems from an ignorance of scripture, rather than a particular interpretive lens, I would bring it up; but the chance they are likely going to all reconsider their position for my singular complaint is highly unlikely. I still may bring it up in an inquisitive way, just to find out why, and what the basis for their decision is.

I don't know if I would undermine the ignorance and arrogance of people, LOL. At least from my experience. The amount of knowledge and understanding to be gleaned from life is vastly immense. And I think once somebody grasps this, they tend to be the most humble people. Within Christianity, I have seen plenty of very educated people set in their ways, who have never really taken the time to study beliefs outside of theirs.

But I understand what you are saying.

 

[MyCrows]

For what it's worth, my close friend invited me to attend his church during a period in life when I was very confused, and had realized that the church we were attending had serious issues.

My friend's church was 40 minutes away, but figured it was worth a shot. After the first visit, I knew that it was a providential work of God that my family was led there. Visited as guests for a few months, then joined as members.

I have dozens of conservative churches within minutes of my house. My church family happened to be 40 minutes away. I can't imagine forsaking them for a closer commute.

 

[CovenantPatriot87]

I'd be a little more charitable, brother. The vast majority of Christians I've ever talked to have no idea what a minced oath is or that many of what seem to be innocuous silly words are even remotely connected to the name of Christ.

Dave, what he's referring to is "Geesh" (or Yikes) is a way of cursing without actually using "Jesus" name, but it intentionally uses the first part. Other ones would be "Yeesh" (Yeshua = Jesus), "Jiminy Cricket" (JC = Jesus Christ), "dadgum" (God damn), "gosh" (God), "Oh, my goodness" (oh my God), or even "zounds" (God's wounds). Almost any ejaculative you'll find has some connection to circumventing the third commandment.

It was something I was made aware of a number of years ago, but growing up I had zero realization that they were historically connected to ways of getting around the third commandment.

Well barnacles!