HOW TO provide for a large family?

[LawrenceU]

Although I don't have a large family now. I grew up in one and live around them. The advice that has been given has all been good. Adam made a comment that is easily dismissed; but, it is important. Ask God to bring you a wife that is compatible to your goals as a husband and father. In today's world women are for the most part not taught skills that are needed in a family, especially a large family. They must abhor materialism! They must enjoy challenges that go on for months/years. They must love God and family more that comfort and pleasure. (And, he's right it helps if they have a syrupy drawl. Or, love Southern culture )

About dogs: We breed dogs as well. Don't think that you must live near a major metropolitan area to make money with pups. Some of my best dog buddies live in the boonies and do very well. It all depends upon the breed and bloodline. We raise Boykin Spaniels. (There is no such thing as an AKC or UKC Boykin. The only legitimate blood lines are Boykin Spaniel Society registries. I mention this because if you are going to breed dogs you better know your stuff. It is not enough just to like dogs, find a cute/useful breed, and get going.) Our blood line is fairly strong and it is a breed that people will travel for hours to buy. BTW, if you have never seen a Boykin or hunted with one you are missing out big time.

I also am a beekeeper. I grew up doing it and it has become a lucrative side business. I average around 1500/month from structural extractions alone. Then there is the honey business. It is a great hobby, but a wonderful business. Of course I was raised in it. But, it has changed. If you want to do this get with a good beekeeper and apprentice with him. It has some challenges today thanks to foreign non-hymenopterian critters.

 

[Scott1]

Make sure you are out of debt.

Live on a budget where you spend less than you make.

Pray in advance God will provide and ask for His mercy that you will not suffer for financial foolishness.

 

[he beholds]

What great advice! We are a growing family (DV) with so far two little ones, and live on my husband's teacher's salary.
We are thankful for my husband's job, but if he had to go to school all over again, he would probably want to major in something that has a higher earning potential.
Engineers and nurses make a lot and don't require graduate degrees, you might want to consider either of those fields...
We also have some friends who are air traffic controllers, and that can be done at a community college (at least one, in Beaver, Pennsylvania) and has high earning potential as well.
I agree with everyone else about the no debt--unfortunately, we have MY school loans to pay off, but I stay at home. What a waste! Maybe find a girl who didn't go to college...

Most of all, do not try to keep up with the Joneses. The Joneses probably don't even own their million dollar house, let alone their fancy cars.

Also, if your wife works before you have children, practice living on one paycheck. Put the other paycheck every week straight into the bank. We never both worked, so we couldn't do this, but friends of ours have, and it has helped them a ton.

Also, pastors typically don't make a ton, but I would ignore my advice on finding a high payable profession if you want to be a pastor. I think being a pastor is worth thrift.

 

[kvanlaan]

One caution about the high-paying skills are that you usually end up in professions that demand a lot of your time. I was the youngest clinic manager in the multinational healthcare company that I worked for and on the way up (working on my master's degree in my 'spare' time, etc.) but my family suffered because of the long days and business trips. I resigned, and then found a job teaching english at a Korean school. The pay was a fraction of what I made previously, but vacation time was in excess of 14 weeks a year and was paid time off. My family blossomed.

What Adam is describing is a perfect situation which he has been wise enough to work himself into. However, it is all too easy to get caught in the ratrace and made a slave to your high-paying job if you're not paying attention. Tread carefully, plan, and pray.

 

[AThornquist]

Wow, such great advice in this thread. Thank you all so much for contributing. And to the dog breeders--what resources can I use to learn more about bloodlines and all of that? I love German shepherds and was thinking of perhaps breeding those in the distant future. (Grr but I really don't like the hunches that are being bred into them.)

 

[BJClark]

Kevin,

One caution about the high-paying skills are that you usually end up in professions that demand a lot of your time. I was the youngest clinic manager in the multinational healthcare company that I worked for and on the way up (working on my master's degree in my 'spare' time, etc.) but my family suffered because of the long days and business trips. I resigned, and then found a job teaching english at a Korean school. The pay was a fraction of what I made previously, but vacation time was in excess of 14 weeks a year and was paid time off. My family blossomed.

What Adam is describing is a perfect situation which he has been wise enough to work himself into. However, it is all too easy to get caught in the ratrace and made a slave to your high-paying job if you're not paying attention. Tread carefully, plan, and pray.

I agree with this, as a wife and mother, I would rather have a husband who makes less money and is home more--than a husband who makes a lot of money but is never home.

 

[he beholds]

Kevin,

One caution about the high-paying skills are that you usually end up in professions that demand a lot of your time. I was the youngest clinic manager in the multinational healthcare company that I worked for and on the way up (working on my master's degree in my 'spare' time, etc.) but my family suffered because of the long days and business trips. I resigned, and then found a job teaching english at a Korean school. The pay was a fraction of what I made previously, but vacation time was in excess of 14 weeks a year and was paid time off. My family blossomed.

What Adam is describing is a perfect situation which he has been wise enough to work himself into. However, it is all too easy to get caught in the ratrace and made a slave to your high-paying job if you're not paying attention. Tread carefully, plan, and pray.

I agree with this, as a wife and mother, I would rather have a husband who makes less money and is home more--than a husband who makes a lot of money but is never home.

I agree COMPLETELY. I am even satisfied with renting for the rest of our lives, if it means that I have my husband home every weekend, every holiday, and every summer. From what I see with my family and friends, the jobs I mentioned, nurses and engineers, especially, do not require much more time (if any) than any other 9-5 job. The air traffic control job doesn't either, but you might have random hours and if you aren't finished with all the training before getting married, you may have even months apart
Nurses, right now, can pretty much pick their hours, or so it seems, since they are in such high demand.

 

[SolaScriptura]

Or you can be like me and get a job that pays a lot of money AND let's you be at home a lot...

 

[Calvinist Cowboy]

This is a really great thread. Us young folks really do need the advice of the older generation, but a lot of times we don't listen.

 

[LawrenceU]

. . . the older generation.

{{{Shudder}}}

That may be the first time I've heard that applied to me.

 

[Calvinist Cowboy]

. . . the older generation.

{{{Shudder}}}

That may be the first time I've heard that applied to me.

Considering I'm 19, anything above 25 is to me the "older generation"!

But seriously, if you didn't share your WISDOM, us FOOLISH youths would end up just like the world: loaded with debt, married to a woman who has no desire to be a homemaker, and thinking that living well means having lots of stuff.

 

[LawrenceU]

No problem. We old codgers will just spout away!!

 

[nicnap]

I would love to have a large family. As large as the Duggars? I don't know. But large nonetheless, Lord willing. I am worried about being able to provide, though. What can I do as a 19 year old man to prepare for a large family?

I mean, not only do I first need a wife with that dream, but also a high enough paid job, the means to have a large enough house, etc. It's nerve wracking

Work hard and trust God.

(Now I will read the rest of the thread.)

-----Added 1/7/2009 at 11:27:26 EST-----

. . . the older generation.

{{{Shudder}}}

That may be the first time I've heard that applied to me.

Considering I'm 19, anything above 25 is to me the "older generation"!

But seriously, if you didn't share your WISDOM, us FOOLISH youths would end up just like the world: loaded with debt, married to a woman who has no desire to be a homemaker, and thinking that living well means having lots of stuff.

Man...not even thirty yet, and I am the older generation? I am out of touch.

 

[Grafted In]

When my wife and I decided to marry we both really wanted a large family. It was my desire to become a pastor but, being young and in need of maturing, God sovereignly directed me to look into learning a skilled trade. At the time I thought that it would be wise to learn a skill that would always allow me to do extra work whenever it was necessary.

I entered an apprenticeship to be a commercial electrician, which took five years, but now that I am done I am returning to school and pressing on toward the goal of being ordained to minister the Word in God's Church. I can do electrical work anytime that I want and I seldom have to advertise my services. I will allows lean on this skill to fill in the gaps or to provide an unexpected need.

When younger guys ask me for advice I always tell them to consider apprenticing for a skill trade (plumbing, electrical, carpentry, masonry, etc.) and then going on to pursue other degrees.

And, as I am sure that you are, pray now for your future wife. Resist the temptation to romanticize what it is like to have a big family. It is wonderful, rewarding, fun, but; it is hard, hard work and you and your wife would benefit from spending as much time as you can with other large families that desire to disciple their children as covenant children so that you can learn from their experience, especially what makes it difficult. Know that pitfalls ahead of time makes it so much easier to navigate through them.

This is a godly desire, set yourself to it in a wise and godly way. There can be greater sorrow associated with having a family, and joy that cannot be know apart from it, and both are used by God to sanctify us and to give a glimpse of his love for his children.

There is a lot of good advice in this thread! God Bless.

 

[LawrenceU]

A hearty second to Scott's reference to learning a trade. My father made sure that I learned to be a good carpenter / joiner. I can't tell you how thankful I am for that insistence. Several times I have had to use those skills to support my family while serving as a pastor.

 

[AThornquist]

Very good advice on the trade skills. I will honestly look into that. I am blessed to have many men at my church who are skilled in many trades, so I am sure I can get into an apprenticeship at some point. Hmmm