How to Not Foul Up the Discipline of Your Children

[C. Matthew McMahon]

Here is an article that is needful across the board in our church:

How to Not Foul Up the Discipline of Your Children and Save Their Souls from Hell

By Dr. C. Matthew McMahon

The pastor made brief mention of it in a sermon, so I wrote an article on it from Proverbs. If you have children, please read.

 

[ReformedWretch]

Matt, may I link to this from my blog on childcare?

 

[C. Matthew McMahon]

Sure!

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Very good article, Matt!

 

[JonathanHunt]

Reading this excellent article just makes me MORE MAD at the wretched government of the UK who want to make all chastisement illegal.

Blair is no hero, he is the enemy of an ordered society.

JH

 

[lwadkins]

Ahh, Jonathan, we in the US certianly understand that. We have scads of people in important positions who have way too much time on there hands. They use this time to tell everyone else (especially unenlightened Christians still living in the dark ages) how to live their lives and raise their children. We are with you in your disgust of such.

 

[turmeric]

In some states (fortunately not the one I live in) it's not legal to spank your child. It's usually frowned upon. My folks used to tell me I was gonna get it when I got home if I misbehaved in public - and I got it when I got home! Unfortunately, I decided it was brave not to cry, so Mom kept whacking me saying "Cry!" so then I learned to fake tears and howl right away so as not to get much of a spanking!

What do you advise people to do who actually haven't learned self-control and are likely to punish when angry, or to get angry in the process and either teach a child that it's all about Mom's mood, or actually harm a child?

 

[lwadkins]

Obviously spanking in anger is wrong and dangerous for the child. Spanking is a method of gaining the attention of a disobiediant child and rarely for punishment in rebellious children. Spanking is a last resort for parents. In raising 3 children it is my contention that consistency in parenting is critical, and that goes for punishment. Once the child believes that punishment is given on whim the effectiveness of punishment become questionable at best. So I would have to say "think before you act", a good axiom in most situations. Unless of couse you subscribe to the premise of the new book "Blink".

 

[C. Matthew McMahon]

Parents should never, ever, spank a child out of anger. That's sin. They should take time to deal with their emotions before they chastise their child. The parents should 1) maintain self control, 2) have a GOOD reason to spank, 3) should never spank for "spanking sake" or 4) Spank effortlessly. All of those accomplish detrimental affects than the one the parent is trying to accomplish.

 

[daveb]

Excellent article Matthew! Thank you for sharing it.

 

[SolaScriptura]

Thanks, Matt... I especially appreciated the inclusion of the list from "The Little Book of Christian Character and Manners."

 

[Authorised]

Matt, it is not proper to strike a child anywhere but the divinely ordained spot. I don't understand how it is proper to hit them anywhere else. Hitting their small hands can break bones and cause other physical problems and bruises, etc.

I don't think parents ought to use their hands, either. The scriptures say use a rod. If a child flinches when a parent raises their hand in the air, that's a sign of abuse. A parent's hands ought to be used as instruments of love for their children.

Good article, a sorely needed and sobering message for today's culture.

 

[C. Matthew McMahon]

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools.

"Back" here is "back." I am sure that none of us would want to spank the child ont he God-ordained spot - the "back". I think prudence is necessary there. In other words, parent should not hit the child on the head, on joints, in the croch, etc.

The bottom is non-contested as a good spot. But I'd also take the back of the thigh, or if it is a smaller children, 2, 3, 4, maybe a pinch on the leg or back of the arm may do the trick. That is not "beating" but I think Gopd wants us to be wise there as well.

 

[ChristianasJourney]

In regards to spanking...I think parents should realize that it should be used in training not as punishment. Parents are often immature and react accordingly: child breaks favorite bauble and parent gets back a child by punishing. Instead of training the child not to be disobediant, foolish, or whatever, and in my opinion therein lies the difference.

 

[ChristianasJourney]

Oh, and to add, I believe that people wrongly conclude that they shouldn't discipline when they're angry. Anger can be a very effective tool in communicating how serious an offense is. The problem comes when anger becomes the motivator and when it master's an individual. When a person lacks the self-control, and maturity to harness their anger and use it wisely, they should never discipline when angry. However, if a person does have self-control I don't think anger should stand in the way of discipline, and in some cases I think exposing it to the child can be helpful in making them realize how bad what they did really was. But like anything, anger, as a tool, must be used appropriately.