How To Interpret Life?

[Ryan&Amber2013]

Over time I've become much more aware to a reality in my life that is very concerning and I can't find an answer to the problem.

It seems weird, but it really appears that very often on a daily basis, my life circumstances are intentionally designed to bring me confusion, pain, and frustration.

Here is a petty but real example today: Leaving work I felt hot and uncomfortable because I was wearing a sweater. I got in the car for my half hour commute and realized I wanted to take my sweater off. Normally on my ride I hit lots of frustrating stops like red lights and backed-up traffic. So I thought when I got to a stop I would take it off. It just so happened today that my ride home was completely smooth without the normal traffic frustrations, and I rode home with the sweater on the whole way because I didn't have the opportunity to take it off. I started thinking "because I'm uncomfortable in this sweater I now probably won't have an opportunity to take it off." And I was right. But on a normal day I'm catching all the stops I don't want. So often it feels like the universe is set against me in strange ways that are either crazy coincidences or plotted design.

Stuff like this happens daily to me. There can be no cars in sight on a mile long road I'm about to turn on, and as soon as I do there's the one car coming right at me that I somehow didn't see? Why couldn't it have been 100 feet back or 100 feet forward to where it wasn't about to collide into me? Stuff like this is normal for me in every part of life.

I can't comprehend how to interpret life this way. I know the biblical answer is that God is sovereign and we don't know but can trust it's for our good, but the experiencial answer is hard to rationalize. Can anyone relate to this?

 

[Deleted member 11889]

I totally relate.

For me - and this will be critical of myself because I think in this case it's justified, but that doesn't mean I'm implying any sort of backhanded criticism of you as much as I'm just relating my own response to similar thoughts for you to regard or ignore - these types of thoughts are often an indication that I've gotten a bit fixated - a sort of "tunnel vision" mentality - on certain very specific, and often remarkably unimportant, things. And this is often the result of hastiness or poor decision-making leading up to an event. I might procrastinate on leaving for an errand or appointment so I can watch one more YouTube video, but then I've shaved my margin of error down and I get in the car with the expectation that the drive will go without a hitch so I can accomplish my goal of being on time. Then traffic lights, or slow drivers, or missed turns, cause me to fume and fuss.

Based on that and other similar examples (and this is really a frequent happening in my life which I suppose shows the stubbornness with which I cling to bad habits), I've adopted a "default rule" so to speak. Whenever I'm feeling this way, I assume there's a sin or blind spot on my part back of it. This is because that line of thinking in my mind essentially amounts to "an impersonal universe is conspiring against me" or, even worse, God has it in for me and is throwing obstacles in my way to annoy me. Both of these are ridiculous thoughts, the latter being almost blasphemously misrepresentative of God's character. If I'm feeling this way then it's an indication that I need to get out of my own head, or, if God is doing something, it's allowing petty frustrations to come my way to drive me out of that self-focused mindset and school me in patience. It really is true that it's the little things that get to us. In a crisis I flip a switch and rise to the occasion but then I'm unraveled by a slow septagenarian in a decrepit station wagon? God wants my devotion in the crisis-free moments too.

Again my self-criticism may not apply to you. But I can say with some certainty that it's not in God's character to arrange your life circumstances for confusion and pain, so I could at least encourage you to step back and think about why you feel that way - try to dig into the situation and get "behind" the visible source of confusion to find out what drives it.

 

[Ed Walsh]

I can't comprehend how to interpret life this way. I know the biblical answer is that God is sovereign, and we don't know but can trust it's for our good, but the experiencial answer is hard to rationalize. Can anyone relate to this?

Hi Ryan,

I'm sorry Ryan, but I just can't help but laugh. I turned 70 on the 18th and praised and magnified the Lord for my entire life and how everything has been perfectly ordered for my good without any exception. Not a single exception at all of any kind ever. All things, as it says in Romans 8:28, have always worked together for good for me, and it is impossible for it not to be so. But it wasn't always that way in my experience. It was only about seven or eight years ago that this doctrine of Romans 8:28 became a reality in my inner self. At that moment, all regrets were gone—even my sins where do not haunt me anymore.

But it is only faith that makes my experiences make sense. Humanly speaking, we must realize that the entire universe is against us in some ways. I mean, apparently so. Re-read Romans 8 about the bondage that the whole Creation is under due to the fall of man and how it earnestly waits for its deliverance at the renewal of all things.

And I'm talking about the ability to accept huge problems with joy and even anticipation. In my business, I was sued twice. One time about 20 years ago and I was a complete basket case. Millions of dollars were at stake, and I was too poor even to hire an attorney and had to mount my whole defense by myself. I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on law libraries Etc. In the end, I was exonerated, but it was really tough to go through. Two years ago, I was sued again for something negligent one of my employees did. (the doctrine of imputation goes beyond matters of salvation. Get it? My employer screwed up, but I got sued)

I sailed through it without a fear in the world. I had to work hard to defend our side as best I could, but we admitted that we were at fault. I looked to the Lord and thanked him for the trouble, and told him to "stay not his hand" in bringing hardship in my life if it will help my Christian character in any way at all. When in sickness, trouble, and sorrow, I've learned pretty much not even to pray for it to be removed, but instead, I look to the Lord and say, "bring it on." James wasn't exaggerating when he said count it all joy when you have real trials. He meant it. Troubles, big and small, should bring us an element of joy along with all the suffering that comes with it.

Well enough of the lecture. I hope that you come to see that the littlest and the biggest troubles in life are wonderful gifts, even when fatherly chastisements, from God for you. Remember the Apostle Paul's life of hardship. He counted it all joy and finished his race with joy.

Have you ever had it pointed out to you how the Apostle Paul's last days were spent? Paul's last letter was written to Timothy from jail. He would never be free again. He was considered by most of his Christian friends as a liability and an embarrassment. He was considered a career criminal and abandoned by "all that were in Asia." (2 Timothy 1:15) At the beginning of his letter, Paul asked Timothy not to be ashamed of him for his legal troubles but to consider him as the prisoner of the Lord. (2Timothy 1:8) In chapter 4, Paul ends his letter as he begins with sharing more of his hardships by the abandonment of his friends.

2 Timothy 4:10‭-‬11‭, ‬14‭-‬16‭, ‬18 ESV​

For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.​

In Summary - The whole universe works against you in many ways, but God providentially causes every single trouble to be for your good. Nothing ultimately bad can possibly happen to any Christian ever. Not a cold, not cancer, not a so-called untimely death.

 

[Ed Walsh]

In Summary - The whole universe works against you in many ways, but God providentially causes every single trouble to be for your good. Nothing ultimately bad can possibly happen to any Christian ever. Not a cold, not cancer, not a so-called untimely death.

I tried to add the paragraph below to my original post, but for some reason, the website would not accept the save command.

Edit: Please, don't anybody who reads this think for a moment that I have led a charmed life humanly speaking. I lost twin boys in childbirth. My firstborn son has been part of a cult, and I haven't seen him for 21 years. My wife and I have suffered many tragedies that are hard for people even to understand. So I have learned not to try to even tell people anymore much about what has happened to us. I thought this would help give more meaning to the things I said above. I hope so. I pray so.

 

[alexanderjames]

It’s funny how we can work ourselves up about the smallest of things. We can’t expect to be able to understand all the largest providences, nevermind the smallest.

Having some worries in my own life concerning potentially losing my job, I was struck again this morning with how utterly freeing it is to resign ourselves to our God, whatever may come to pass. When we entrust and commit ourselves to the Lord we have nothing to fear for we know that God is for us and He is in charge.

 

[VictorBravo]

Welcome to the Fall. This morning I started off by dumping a scoop of coffee beans into the grinder, except I neglected to open the lid.

We won’t talk about all the things from yesterday....

 

[hammondjones]

There''s some observation bias, probably. I mean, I feel like my toast always lands butter side down. But I don't pay attention to the 50%ish of the time it lands butter side up. I don't think about it when the "universe" works in my favor (as I perceive it), only when a providence occurs that I don't like (though they are all good for me).

 

[Deleted member 11889]

There''s some observation bias, probably. I mean, I feel like my toast always lands butter side down. But I don't pay attention to the 50%ish of the time it lands butter side up. I don't think about it when the "universe" works in my favor (as I perceive it), only when a providence occurs that I don't like (though they are all good for me).

Observation bias is real!

 

[Joshua]

Reminds me of a country song:

Postman delivered past due bill notice
Alarm clock rang two hours late
The garbage man left all the trash on the sidewalk
The hinges fell off of the gate
This mornin' at breakfast spilled all the coffee
And I opened the door on my knee

O! the last thing I needed, first thing this mornin'
Was to have you walk out on me

 

[Logan]

There''s some observation bias, probably.

Exactly my first thought. It's very easy to remember or only notice one side of things, and once you start noticing you can't really stop.

My wife always says that when things like that happen that she wonders just what thing God might be orchestrating for our good. Maybe it's just another part of being sanctified, or maybe if you had been delayed at a stoplight you could have been in a traffic accident. There is no knowing for sure why you had such smooth sailing (despite your discomfort) but you can take comfort knowing that it was for a purpose, and you may have even been spared something far worse because of it.

Jeremiah Burroughs' "Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment" transformed my outlook on all the struggles I had. It made me realize that any grumbling I had against my circumstances was really grumbling against God's providence, and also made me realize just how little in control I am and how there are so many more complicated things being orchestrated around me than I could even comprehend. Thankfully God is in control and not me!

 

[Ed Walsh]

! the last thing I needed, first thing this mornin'
Was to have you walk out on me

This reminds me of of the question, "What do you get when you play a Country song backwards?"

"You get your girl back, you get your truck back, and you get your job back."

 

[Deleted member 11889]

This reminds me of of the question, "What do you get when you play a Country song backwards?"

"You get your girl back, you get your truck back, and you get your job back."

And the record company gets its royalty checks back.

 

[Morgan]

I think we have all experienced that in one way or another. A little over two years go I felt the call to ministry, to be an Elder in my church. I have had some of the most difficult challenges of my half century on this earth in the last two years. I faced testing that would have broken me a couple years ago, yet the Lord brought me through it.

I am often helped in the difficult times when I look to the problems of others. A dear sister in my church spent 26 years in China until she was forced to leave. Listening to some of her stories makes me grateful that I can even gather openly to worship this morning without fear of being beaten, arrested, losing my job over it. I am blessed in things we think small, yet these things other brothers and sisters in Christ long for.

Through sanctification the things that bothered us in years past no longer affect us. What I have been through can be used to help others when they go through similar. The Christian life is not easy but God has equipped us to face anything in this world. We are strangers and pilgrims and our lives are but a vapor. Paul called his afflictions "momentary", I have gone through nothing compared to Paul. I do admit that the longer I live the more I long to be in heaven serving my Savior.....

 

[Poimen]

I can't comprehend how to interpret life this way. I know the biblical answer is that God is sovereign and we don't know but can trust it's for our good, but the experiencial answer is hard to rationalize. Can anyone relate to this?

I think the book of Ecclesiastes was written for such observations as there is some truth in what you say. Yet this is because we are framing them through the lens of this fallen world, and not according to the reign of God by which he is (and will) making all things new.

 

[bookish_Basset]

Ryan, I feel this way about much of my life -- frequently thwarted in both big and small ways. Like others have said, it's just the reality of life in a fallen world. I get how it's vexing on an experiential level, though.

I'm not always diligent about it, but I try to take these things as opportunities to look at life by faith and not by sight, which is so difficult it's going to take a lifetime of training. I'm also finding, lately, that I have to accept more and more that there are many things I'm never going to understand in this life, and that I should be focusing instead on those things God does want me to know and believe. In that way, these smaller things often prove to be distractions for me. It also helps me to look at the many blessings, even very small, inconspicuous ones, that God gives daily and that I don't deserve.

 

[Edward]

I got in the car for my half hour commute and realized I wanted to take my sweater off.

Roll down the windows and hit the gas.

(Cars in Florida don't have AC?)

 

[VictorBravo]

Roll down the windows and hit the gas.

(Cars in Florida don't have AC?)

My sob story from 1979: I was driving my ‘72 Subaru through the Mojave desert in August. No AC. Outside temp around 109F.

And my poor car wasn’t designed for such conditions, so I had to drive at 40 mph to keep from overheating.

A new Buick passed me going 70. Windows up, no doubt cool inside. The children in the back pointed at me and giggled.

I poured more water over my head from a gallon jug. Kept me tolerably cool until I could get to the next town for a refill.

I acquired my first AC car in 2002. Wouldn’t be without these days.