How many posts until you graduate from Puritanboard Freshman?

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Humor' started by Jon 316, Mar 4, 2009.

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  1. charliejunfan

    charliejunfan Puritan Board Senior

    woooooo, I'm on my way to Junior!
     
  2. Jesus is my friend

    Jesus is my friend Puritan Board Junior

    Just in case you missed it before and for nostalgia's sake here is one of my posts from the old days,such were the antics of Godly men moved with a desire to reach the PuritanBoard Sophmore level,-Good Times!!
     
  3. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    You seem to have forgotten the altitude factor.

    Giraffes, having the highest altitude of all creation, suffer from chronic nose bleeds. Giraffe blood, when combined with giraffe boogers, is a natural narcotic. Thus giraffes, being constantly high, simply stand there and giggle at the thought of nuclear war and never actually get around to pushing the button.

    Bullfrogs, on the other hand, (Jeremiah being particularly prominent as well as a good friend) are accustomed to being flattened by teenagers driving Fords and are thus prone to missile use.

    Theognome
     
  4. Nate

    Nate Puritan Board Junior

    :wave:
     
  5. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior

    Of course - we can so easily forget - that giraffes produce so many boogers that they fall out of their noses, and because of the high height and the wonderful law of gravity, they hit the buttons below with enough force so as to "push the button." Therefore, nuclear war and thus, destruction of all that is bullfrog.
     
  6. Calvinist Cowboy

    Calvinist Cowboy Puritan Board Junior

    Ah yes, the good old days! My, how the young whippersnappers have changed since then. Speaking of young'uns, I'm surprised Thornquist hasn't barged in and derailed the thread with that goofy hamster choking on the karot.
     
  7. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Theognome, I don't know why, but for some reason that post made me smile.

    :rofl:

    On the other hand, dolphins, having a highly advanced cortex and built-in sonar, should theoretically be able to compensate for the refraction.

    Alternatively, they could leap out of the water and blast their enemies from behind...
     
  8. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Problem- Giraffes are so addicted to the boogers that they snort them, thus they never get the chance to fall to the ground. Furthermore, if you look at the photo below-

    [​IMG]

    You will notice that the buttons are on the top of it's head and thus imune to the gravitational effects of giraffe boogers.

    Theognome
     
  9. Southern Presbyterian

    Southern Presbyterian Moderator Staff Member

    So then it is like an episode of Seinfeld. It is the Thread about nothing! :D
     
  10. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    But not immune to the tremendous G-forces of the giraffe lifting its head from the watering hole when hit in the behind with a small, slender needle.
     
  11. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Oh, they are quite immune. Notice the stoned look on his face due to the narcotic boogers. You could run him through with a spear and he wouldn't notice a thing.

    Theognome
     
  12. Calvinist Cowboy

    Calvinist Cowboy Puritan Board Junior

    Of course, but this thread extrapolates the utter nonsense of Seinfeld 100 fold. Which is a seriously scary thought. We could be God's judgment on the Reformed world for its worldliness.
     
  13. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    God created something from nothing. Thus we are demonstrating a great truth of Creation. So, we can snub Seinfeld at our theological leisure.

    Theognome
     
  14. Southern Presbyterian

    Southern Presbyterian Moderator Staff Member

    This apocalyptic turn is perhaps disturbing. What if this thread is like "The Nothing" from "The Never Ending Story" and it continually expands to consume first the PB, then the reformed world, then the evangelical world, the emergent world, etc., etc., etc.?!

    :eek:
     
  15. Calvinist Cowboy

    Calvinist Cowboy Puritan Board Junior

    Thank you all so much! This is my 500th post! I am now a sophmore! So this is what it feels like to "know everything". Utter pointlessness has its benefits!
     
  16. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    You talk as if Reformed Christians expanding to take over the world is a bad thing...

    Theognome
     
  17. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    The giraffe, certainly, is quite immune. It wouldn't even notice if the bombs began going off all around it. The buttons on its head, however, would almost certainly be accidentally depressed in the circumstances described; I can provide the mathematical equations if you require.
     
  18. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Provide your proofs, Sir. Ensure you use tangible premises.

    Theognome
     
  19. Nate

    Nate Puritan Board Junior

  20. Theognome

    Theognome Burrito Bill

    Hello.

    Theognome
     
  21. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    Bahamet would beat them all!

    [​IMG]
     
  22. Nate

    Nate Puritan Board Junior

    [GIRAFFE radar nods in acknowledgement]
     
  23. Southern Presbyterian

    Southern Presbyterian Moderator Staff Member

    No, not Reformed Christians... but "the thread". You must have seen the movie for frame of reference.
     
  24. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Assume that the force necessary to depress the button is approximately 9VRMS at 60Hz. If the giraffe's neck is 7 feet long, then a rapid upward movement should generate 7*1.414 or 9.898VRMS. Assuming the neck reaches vertical in under 2.4 seconds, this should be sufficient to ensure the required cyclical frequency of 60Hz.
     
  25. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior

    Bahamut is actually a giraffe in little girly clothing.
     
  26. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    Close, but not quite. If you take giraffe, translate it into Greek (Koine), then into Homeric Greek, then take the letters and arrange them at the corners of a triangle, then take that to the Priory of Sion, who will translate it into Hebrew and place the letters at the corner of a fleur-de-lis. Then take that to the Knights Templar, and they translate it into Russian and place the letters around there seal. Then, with the left-over letters, take them to Opus Dei, who will translate the letters into Latin. Then on the third day, after a Heroic minute, they will place the letters into the special places on the altar at the Vatican, the altar will open, revealing the Holy Grail, and the giraffes will be revealed for what they are --Sonic the Hedgehog!!!!
     
  27. Skyler

    Skyler Puritan Board Graduate

    Dolphins need no confused rhetoric. They has lazers. :p
     
  28. Grymir

    Grymir Puritan Board Graduate

    Confused? Confused?

    How about how they are going to explain all the great technology in the new Star Trek movie?

    How about the story line of the Klingon disease that made them look plainer in the Star Trek Enterprise episode?

    How about anytime Picard beat the Borg?

    And the everso popular, How about any time that a red shirt beamed down with Kirk and Spock and lived to tell the tale!
     
  29. Calvinist Cowboy

    Calvinist Cowboy Puritan Board Junior

    Never. (why is it they always die?)
     
  30. tellville

    tellville Puritan Board Junior

    You have opened up the proverbial can of worms:

    Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Super Mario
     
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