How are we to love ourselves, or are we?

[Arch2k]

The Larger Catechism
Q122: What is the sum of the six commandments which contain our duty to man?
A122: The sum of the six commandments which contain our duty to man is, to love our neighbor as ourselves,[1]

1. Matt. 22:39
And the second is like it: "˜You shall love your neighbor as yourself.´

The Larger Catechism
Q105: What are the sins forbidden in the first commandment?
A105:
...self-love,[13]...

13. II Tim. 3:2
For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

 

[Semper Fidelis]

I think the Scriptures are pretty plain that we already love ourselves. That's presented axiomatically in terms of the amount of time we spend caring for ourselves and worrying how others treat us and think of us.

Even those with what many term "low self-esteem" are marked by thinking about themselves constantly and what others think of them. It comes across as self-loathing but, in the end, they're usually thinking far too much about themselves and how they feel about themselves. It's not to say that we ought not help them or that their situation is difficult, it's just to say that nobody really truly hates themselves. Those who commit suicide are most obsessed about their "inner selves" and it is an act of utter selfishness.

 

[ReformedWretch]

It's context.

We treat others as how we would want to be treated, to care for, support, aid, etc. In doing this we love ourselves LESS. I know this because I live it every single day.

Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me.

If we all loved one another we would have no need for self love.

 

[Arch2k]

4. Is self-love a sin? Self-love is not a sin unless it is inordinate self-love. The command "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" implies that self-love is a duty. As self-preservation is the basic instinct of our nature, to love one's self cannot be a sin, but must be a divinely implanted impulse in the human soul. But when self-love gets out of balance, so that a person loves himself more than his neighbor, and especially more than God, then it is inordinate self-love and therefoer sinful. The same is true inthe matter of "self-seeking."

Vos, Johannes G., The Westminster Larger Catechism, A Commentary (Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2002) p. 267.

 

[ReformedWretch]

But when self-love gets out of balance, so that a person loves himself more than his neighbor, and especially more than God, then it is inordinate self-love and therefoer sinful. The same is true inthe matter of "self-seeking."

I agree with this!

I don't want to take this off topic, but if this is true, why aren't more Christians in the human service field? I've had countless brothers and sisters in Christ tell me "Oh I could never do what you do!"

Why?

 

[gwine]

Eph 5:28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Eph 5:30 because we are members of his body.

As long as the love you have for yourself manifests itself as a sacrificial love towards your wife (and others) then we will do right.

 

[VirginiaHuguenot]

Self-love is presupposed in the sum of God's law. It is natural, normal and good to desire for ourselves to be blessed. The Sixth and Eighth Commandments require us to endeavor to promote our own well-being. We ought not to despise ourselves being wonderfully and fearfully created as we are (Ps. 139.14), giving glory to our Creator. We are taught to think of ourselves soberly but not as being higher than we are (Rom. 12.3). Yet as we give glory to God we find no glory to boast in of ourselves (Rom. 3.30; 1 Cor. 4.7). "He must increase but I must decrease." (John 3.30)

Self-love, named by the Assembly as a sin prohibited by the First Commandment, is of the self-esteem variety that is propagated today. As Rich said, it is selfish to the core. It says, put self first, then you can love God and love others. That is the deceitful language of the devil. The order in the sum of the law presupposes self-love but begins with God then proceeds to others, then self.

Inordinate self-love is most definitely condemned by God's Word. There are boundaries on love directed to anything besides God. Nothing created should be loved more than God, and everything should be subordinated to the law of God.

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

 

[Peter]

I was just thinking of this question. The conclusion I have come to is that self-abhorrence and charity to ones neighbor are virtues that are not at all incompatible. How can a Christian see his own deceitful heart and wicked body of death and not be moved to cry out against his wretched self? The good that is in the inward man is not our own doing but the workmanship of Christ. So then boasting is excluded and there is nothing to love in ourselves. Yet we rightfully pursue the furtherance of our own life and estate. Our attituted and behavior towards our neighbor should be the same.