Heretic Dishes

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Knoxienne

Puritan Board Graduate
Can anyone think of any?

Not heretic recipes, but heretic dishes would probably be a better title. Can't edit it. :eek:
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
John Hagee briskets:

Start roasting 2 identical briskets on the grill. Remove one for medium done. Leave the other one on for 7 more minutes and shake the grill violently until done.
 

Knoxienne

Puritan Board Graduate
Mod warning: Just be careful who you call a heretic! :lol:

I was thinking along the lines of Word of Faith guys - real obvious folks. Yes, caution is indeed necessary.

-----Added 4/18/2009 at 08:12:19 EST-----

Joyce-car Meyer Wiener Appetizers
Marilyn Hickeyberry Pie
 

PresbyDane

Puritanboard Doctor
Yeah we need to only burn the obvious ones, not the ones that for example disguies themselves with sunglasses or wigs ;) :lol:

j/k please do not burn me
 

Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
Nestorian Cream Pie:

Take pie shell and fill with chocolate filling. Take second pie shell and fill with cream topping. Keep two shells apart. Enjoy.
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Finney roast chicken:

A succulent ,tender, moist, well seasoned..... oh can't you just taste it people.....when the little button pops, I want you all to run up front and grab a piece.
 

Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
Baked Chicken with Eutychian glaze

Bake boneless chicken for 20 minutes while thoroughly warming glaze. When chicken is done, remove from oven. Careful taken chicken and place in glaze until completely engulfed. Eat only glaze. Enjoy.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Rodney Howard Browned Chicken-

Withe the feathers still on, take a whole chicken, slay it by making it fall backwards into red-hot hellfire. Roast until very dark.

Theognome
 

Beth Ellen Nagle

Puritan Board Senior
Pentecostal Twice Fried Burgers.


Fry burgers then deep fry them to make sure they are filled with grease.


(ok, that wasn't funy)
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
C Peter Wagner dinosaur burgers:

First you need to find a dinosaur. You say they are extinct with the closing of canon? Well, I'm one and I tell you there are more just like me. Unless you get under our authority, you will never make another burger. Ask Chuck Pierce.....he will clue you in on our secret recipe.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Tetzelstrudel-

This indulgent dish is easy to make. Take one Tetzel, add three cups of St. Peters, mix with two tablespoons coffee (from the coffers). Bake at 4,000 degrees or until released from purgatory.

Theognome
 

Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
Kenneth Hagin-Daas Ice Cream

Get a worm. Just a mealy little worm. Burn it in fire for three days. Retrieve it. Claim that it is delicious ice cream and eat it.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Shake and TD Jake chicken-

Put one chicken quarter into a bag filled with one spice only- You can't have Trinitarian spices. Make sure it's baked by a woman, too.

Theognome
 

Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
Marcionite Fried Chicken

Take a whole chicken and fry it. Throw away the parts you don't like. Eat drumstick and enjoy.
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Jiffy Pope popcorn:

Take all professing ears of popping corn you can find. Tie them to a stake. Unless they recant, burn them till crisp and season with salt and butter.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Brussels Sprouts Au Aquinas

Rinse two pounds of Brussels Sprouts (no one likes them anyway), and put in a pot of boiling water. In another pot, boil two pounds of imaginary Roma Tomatoes and bow to them. Combine Roman mythology with disgusting Catholic sprouts. Sprinkle with Dante.

Theognome
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Joel Osteen Buffalo Wings:

Take 5 pounds of chicken wings. Fry them until just done. Then mix two drops of tabasco sauce with 1 pound of melted butter. We just want to butter them up folks, leave that hell fire sauce for someone else's recipe.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Peter Popoffovers

Mix flour and water and put in popover tin. Then, turn your back and wait for a cuecard to tell you that they've been baked. If no cue card is available, get an earpiece pick-up with someone in the kitchen on the other end telling you what happened.

Theongome
 

Marrow Man

Drunk with Powder
Mary Baker Eddy Chocolate Cake

That's not really chocolate cake; it's just an illusion. Here, read the cookbook and you'll see.
 

Theognome

Burrito Bill
Charles Taze Russell Stover Candies

Devilishly sweet, these are actually a lot of work to put together. Your local representatives will be at your home shortly to show you the way.

Theognome
 

Rich Koster

Puritan Board Post-Graduate
Joseph Smith imitation vanilla pound cake:

1 pound of sifted flour (let gulls pick out any bugs)
2 pinches of Nephi brand baking powder
1 pound of home churned butter
1 pound of Moroni sugar
1 tsp of Salt Lake City brand imitation vanilla extract

Bake at 451deg until someone believes it is really pound cake.

Your mothers in law will love the recipe!!!
 
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