Greetings,
I apologize in advance for such a long post. I didn't intend to be so lengthy.
Anyhow, I find myself in a hard place. I grew up in fundamentalist, baptist churches and never once in 15+ years of preaching and teaching did I ever hear any of the doctrines of grace mentioned in the least. I've still never heard an actual preacher in the flesh even assent to them in passing-- only pastors/writers via the internet, or old Puritan books.
Now that I understand (in part) the grace of Christ, what ought I to make of such churches? I am surrounded by them, and nothing but.
I often read discussions in which Christians caution, "You cannot say something is heretical just because it contains a measure of error." I agree with that, but I don't know what to think. I go to church week after week and I hear the pastor preach a Jesus that can't do anything, or already did everything he could 2000 years ago and left the rest up to my decisions. My decisions got me nowhere for 20+ years and they still don't, not without Christ in me. They hold to the "fundamentals of the faith" like the Trinity, Deity of Christ, virgin birth, inerrancy of Scripture, and justification by faith alone, but there's not a whiff of grace in it as far as I can tell now that I know what grace smells like.
They have Justification by Faith but then preach sermon after sermon that, to me, sounds like Faith without the need for Grace. What I hear most often translates to this: faith equals accepting historical facts, and you just need a persuasive enough argument.
They all hastily affirm that we are all sinners, all deserve hell, cannot be saved by works, it's by Christ alone... but then Christ doesn't do anything! I have heard every paraphrase of "God has done everything He can do for you." They say God is sovereign in the fine print, but preach day after day that He never gets His way. It is all, "Accept Jesus into your heart," or "Make him Lord of your life." I've never heard a sermon that says we sinners are helpless... there's always something left to do to try to get God to have to save you or give you assurance.
They baptize by immersion and say communion is just an ordinance. Which is great and true, I believe. But I've never heard a sermon on accomplished redemption, election, reprobation, inability, or any of the other "Calvinisms" that I hear some people say are just peripheral to the gospel. "Just accept Jesus." They employ altar calls and all manner of tactics to get people to make professions of faith (close your eyes, raise your hands) and all sorts of stuff like that. I don't know if every church does that, but I've never been to one that doesn't.
I honestly just don't see how even half of it lines up with how things are set forth in the Scripture.
Not ranting or trying to cause debate, just hoping for a bit of help.
Lately I've been reading a lot of John Gill, Edwards, John Owen, and the like, and from all accounts I guess you might call me a High Calvinist, whatever that is. But my entire family, my wife to an extent, and every friend I have that names the name of Christ all staunchly believe in free-will, regeneration by decision, sanctification by willpower (you might call it), and worst of all I think, the death of Christ that doesn't necessarily do anything. They naturally think it quite crazy when I mention I believe God orders all things and that God decided to save me before I did.
I was in darkness for years because I knew I couldn't save myself, but yet I thought I could do something to make God save me-- go into heaven to bring Christ down, perhaps, or I thought I needed to (or could) make him come to my house (proverbially, like the Jew) to do a miracle for me. However, I thank God now that he brought me to love the truths I once hated, and Kiss the Son, as it were.
But I still feel quite alone (in terms of human companionship), despite that I am surrounded by everything called Christian, and I cant shake the nagging feeling that, as one song goes, "they must know a different Jesus than we do."
Thanks for reading, and for responding with your thoughts.
I apologize in advance for such a long post. I didn't intend to be so lengthy.
Anyhow, I find myself in a hard place. I grew up in fundamentalist, baptist churches and never once in 15+ years of preaching and teaching did I ever hear any of the doctrines of grace mentioned in the least. I've still never heard an actual preacher in the flesh even assent to them in passing-- only pastors/writers via the internet, or old Puritan books.
Now that I understand (in part) the grace of Christ, what ought I to make of such churches? I am surrounded by them, and nothing but.
I often read discussions in which Christians caution, "You cannot say something is heretical just because it contains a measure of error." I agree with that, but I don't know what to think. I go to church week after week and I hear the pastor preach a Jesus that can't do anything, or already did everything he could 2000 years ago and left the rest up to my decisions. My decisions got me nowhere for 20+ years and they still don't, not without Christ in me. They hold to the "fundamentals of the faith" like the Trinity, Deity of Christ, virgin birth, inerrancy of Scripture, and justification by faith alone, but there's not a whiff of grace in it as far as I can tell now that I know what grace smells like.
They have Justification by Faith but then preach sermon after sermon that, to me, sounds like Faith without the need for Grace. What I hear most often translates to this: faith equals accepting historical facts, and you just need a persuasive enough argument.
They all hastily affirm that we are all sinners, all deserve hell, cannot be saved by works, it's by Christ alone... but then Christ doesn't do anything! I have heard every paraphrase of "God has done everything He can do for you." They say God is sovereign in the fine print, but preach day after day that He never gets His way. It is all, "Accept Jesus into your heart," or "Make him Lord of your life." I've never heard a sermon that says we sinners are helpless... there's always something left to do to try to get God to have to save you or give you assurance.
They baptize by immersion and say communion is just an ordinance. Which is great and true, I believe. But I've never heard a sermon on accomplished redemption, election, reprobation, inability, or any of the other "Calvinisms" that I hear some people say are just peripheral to the gospel. "Just accept Jesus." They employ altar calls and all manner of tactics to get people to make professions of faith (close your eyes, raise your hands) and all sorts of stuff like that. I don't know if every church does that, but I've never been to one that doesn't.
I honestly just don't see how even half of it lines up with how things are set forth in the Scripture.
Not ranting or trying to cause debate, just hoping for a bit of help.
Lately I've been reading a lot of John Gill, Edwards, John Owen, and the like, and from all accounts I guess you might call me a High Calvinist, whatever that is. But my entire family, my wife to an extent, and every friend I have that names the name of Christ all staunchly believe in free-will, regeneration by decision, sanctification by willpower (you might call it), and worst of all I think, the death of Christ that doesn't necessarily do anything. They naturally think it quite crazy when I mention I believe God orders all things and that God decided to save me before I did.
I was in darkness for years because I knew I couldn't save myself, but yet I thought I could do something to make God save me-- go into heaven to bring Christ down, perhaps, or I thought I needed to (or could) make him come to my house (proverbially, like the Jew) to do a miracle for me. However, I thank God now that he brought me to love the truths I once hated, and Kiss the Son, as it were.
But I still feel quite alone (in terms of human companionship), despite that I am surrounded by everything called Christian, and I cant shake the nagging feeling that, as one song goes, "they must know a different Jesus than we do."
Thanks for reading, and for responding with your thoughts.