Theognome
Burrito Bill
Yes, Proverbs 31 is actually a prophecy, and it has been fulfilled. Allow me to exegete...
V.10- Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
The Lord put the ultimate virtuous wife before me, for she is the Purdiest girl in the whole universe (multiverse?).
V.11- The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
I bring home a paycheck, and forget about it- I know that she will care for me and momma completely, and indeed will make it go farther than I ever imagined.
V.12- She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Toni was once described as, 'fiercely submissive'. in things both great and small, she is always striving to serve me all the more.
V.13- She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.
She hasn't had to buy new clothing for years- she mends, washes and cares for such things with extreme dutifulness.
V.14- She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.
Our table is filled with delicacies from all over the world, which she prepares herself. She knows the inventory of every specialty store within 20 miles.
V.15- She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.
I get up at 6:00 every morning, shower, and sit for breakfast. A hot breakfast is waiting for me and momma both. She is busy at work well before five in the morning.
V.16- She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.
There is not a major purchase we make that she does not improve and cash in on. When we bought a piano, she taught lessons. We buy property, she landscapes it to make it more valuable.
V.17- She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.
My purdiestness works out at the gym regularly to keep as trim and fit as possible for my pleasure.
V.18- She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.
Can this gal shop! Just yesterday she showed me a grocery receipt for under $100.00. I couldn't have bought that same stuff for under one-fifty. She made those dollars go farther that I imagined, and even with a tight budget, we lack for nothing.
V.19- She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.
Nothing is wasted in her hands. Leftovers are eaten, scraps are used in crafts... she maintains a synergy of resources that ever increase.
V.20- She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
Whether it's meals for those in want or cash for those in dire straights, she is ready to go the extra mile for brethren in need.
V.21- She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.
Afraid of snow?!? My Purdiestness craves it! The house is always warm, fires are lit and she keeps us all clothed in exactly what we need for the weather of the day.
V.22- She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Regal beauty is best defined by her picture. She dresses as a queen, and rightly so- not only her person but she adorns her home likewise.
V.23- Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
At my work, I am highly respected and am sought often for counsel by co-workers. This is because I have no worries at home and can focus completely on my tasks due to her diligence.
V.24- She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.
Actually, she makes baskets. Fancy ones, and fills them with special themed treats. And yes, they sell well in season.
V.25- Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
Clothed in the righteousness of Christ, His strength and honor are on her lips to His glory.
V.26- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
If a brother or sister is in need of encouragement, they have only to go to Toni. The Word of our Lord is well known to her, and she speaks His truth with kindness.
V.27- She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Keeping a house clean, filled and organized with a sloppy hubby and a 'file by pile' momma is a mammoth task that she fulfills with dignity and grace.
V.28- Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
I cannot state any ill of her, for there is none. She is without flaw or blemish.
V.29- Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.
Simply put, none can compare to her.
V.30- Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Her beauty does not fade but instead grows every day, for the grace of God flows through her heart.
V.31- Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Here is but a small token of her fruits. My Purdiestness girl has built a man in her house, which is more than I ever dreamed could be done. May she be praised wherever we go, for there is no one like her, nor shall there ever be. She has fulfilled this proverb in every detail, and even yet continues to fulfill it even more. I pray that our God will give her the desires of her heart always, and her life be filled with boundless joy.
Theognome
V.10- Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
The Lord put the ultimate virtuous wife before me, for she is the Purdiest girl in the whole universe (multiverse?).
V.11- The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
I bring home a paycheck, and forget about it- I know that she will care for me and momma completely, and indeed will make it go farther than I ever imagined.
V.12- She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Toni was once described as, 'fiercely submissive'. in things both great and small, she is always striving to serve me all the more.
V.13- She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands.
She hasn't had to buy new clothing for years- she mends, washes and cares for such things with extreme dutifulness.
V.14- She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.
Our table is filled with delicacies from all over the world, which she prepares herself. She knows the inventory of every specialty store within 20 miles.
V.15- She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants.
I get up at 6:00 every morning, shower, and sit for breakfast. A hot breakfast is waiting for me and momma both. She is busy at work well before five in the morning.
V.16- She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.
There is not a major purchase we make that she does not improve and cash in on. When we bought a piano, she taught lessons. We buy property, she landscapes it to make it more valuable.
V.17- She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.
My purdiestness works out at the gym regularly to keep as trim and fit as possible for my pleasure.
V.18- She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night.
Can this gal shop! Just yesterday she showed me a grocery receipt for under $100.00. I couldn't have bought that same stuff for under one-fifty. She made those dollars go farther that I imagined, and even with a tight budget, we lack for nothing.
V.19- She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.
Nothing is wasted in her hands. Leftovers are eaten, scraps are used in crafts... she maintains a synergy of resources that ever increase.
V.20- She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
Whether it's meals for those in want or cash for those in dire straights, she is ready to go the extra mile for brethren in need.
V.21- She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet.
Afraid of snow?!? My Purdiestness craves it! The house is always warm, fires are lit and she keeps us all clothed in exactly what we need for the weather of the day.
V.22- She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Regal beauty is best defined by her picture. She dresses as a queen, and rightly so- not only her person but she adorns her home likewise.
V.23- Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
At my work, I am highly respected and am sought often for counsel by co-workers. This is because I have no worries at home and can focus completely on my tasks due to her diligence.
V.24- She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants.
Actually, she makes baskets. Fancy ones, and fills them with special themed treats. And yes, they sell well in season.
V.25- Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
Clothed in the righteousness of Christ, His strength and honor are on her lips to His glory.
V.26- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.
If a brother or sister is in need of encouragement, they have only to go to Toni. The Word of our Lord is well known to her, and she speaks His truth with kindness.
V.27- She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Keeping a house clean, filled and organized with a sloppy hubby and a 'file by pile' momma is a mammoth task that she fulfills with dignity and grace.
V.28- Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
I cannot state any ill of her, for there is none. She is without flaw or blemish.
V.29- Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.
Simply put, none can compare to her.
V.30- Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Her beauty does not fade but instead grows every day, for the grace of God flows through her heart.
V.31- Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Here is but a small token of her fruits. My Purdiestness girl has built a man in her house, which is more than I ever dreamed could be done. May she be praised wherever we go, for there is no one like her, nor shall there ever be. She has fulfilled this proverb in every detail, and even yet continues to fulfill it even more. I pray that our God will give her the desires of her heart always, and her life be filled with boundless joy.
Theognome
See, this shows what I know about kissing. 
) 
