Fathers of Large Families

[nwink]

For those of you who are fathers of large families and presumably gone to work most of the day, how do you invest in each child and get to know each child? Do you try to purposefully give each child a measure of your attention when you are home? Do you do semi-regular events or times just for you and each child every so often? I want to hear you or your wife's perspective on how you develop a relationship with each child when you have a large family.

 

[KMK]

I try to keep my focus on my wife. She always knows which child needs what from me and I follow her lead.

 

[DMcFadden]

I only had five kids but we focused on family traditions and identity building "together" times. Today, my eldest sons (a pastor and an attorney) are in CA visiting their infirm 93 year old grandmother and they could not resist going camping at Joshua Tree last night in 32 degree weather. It was one of our favorite family traditions when they were growing up. We turned just about anything and everything into a meaningful family tradition.

In addition to individualized attention, don't overlook the value of "team building" with the entire family. It will pay dividends that will last for generations.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Not like this guy New York Jet's Antonio Cromartie Has Some Trouble Remembering His Kids Names - YouTube

 

[AlexanderHenderson1647]

I've tried to identify things that they each enjoy and spend special times with each of them personally doing that thing. I really attempt to maximize Sunday in making it a delight as best as I am able for each of them (have gotten some great ideas from Doorposts - A Day of Delight - great little resource and has GREAT ideas for fun Sabbath learning/play ideas though it does recommend some things that wouldn't be in line w/Biblical Reformed Sabbath keeping and has a second commandment violation in the booklet.) In family worship, don't be afraid to read hefty things, but don't forget to feed the babes on milk too. We are just starting a new effort in our family prayer - we are doing breakout prayer times. We have most often pray as a family after worship, but we are now sending them off a couple days of the week in little groups (sometimes boys together, sometimes some of the boys with some of the girls, mom w/boys or girls, dad w/girls or boys, etc.) Also, I try to make Saturday morning a big time (a good rest for mommy too!) - we head off to McD's VERY early (5:30, 6am) and eat off the dollar menu - only sets us back about 5-8 bucks. Ours has a playland and they put on movies on the big screen - we run and play and have a blast. We're usually out and done by about 7:30, 8. We take our Catechism, (whatever book we're reading [Ben Hur at the moment]) and read up. That allows us some catch up time. Last, we have a "daddy day" (about one a month) as a one on one with each child. They get to pick the itinerary (within reasonable budgetary limits ) I like it more than they do!

 

[Rev. Todd Ruddell]

Most of my 8 children are out of the house now, but we always emphasized doing things together. Even if it's only going for a walk in the evening, or picking a favorite leisure venue we might all enjoy together. Those special times of one-on-one do come as they are needed, and when they do, I always tried to make the most of them. But our focus was being together, serving each other, helping and working together, etc.