Family Worship & Crying Babies

[sevenzedek]

My wife and I are struggling with how to manage our daily family worship schedule with our six week old little man named Ashby. His crying and need for us to attend to his needs makes it very difficult to have private and family worship without being interrupted.

Since I know there are plenty of you who have dealt with this issue many times over, how have some of you managed the predicament in which my wife and I find ourselves? I am just looking for us to creatively brainstorm about the many difficulties families have while seeking to worship God at home and not the public assembly.

I heard of one lady who had many children who would put her apron over her head and pray. The children were instructed to leave her alone when they saw the apron go up. This is one solution that one person found. Let's brainstorm about the solutions we have found that work for us. Thus far, my wife and I are having much difficulty with this issue.

 

[FenderPriest]

Jon, a few thoughts:

1) The lady you're thinking of is Susanna Wesley - apron over the head meant "Mother's time with God" and if you interrupted that, you'd get it. Maybe not the best approach, but it's an approach.
2) A six-week old child isn't the norm, things change over time, so don't get too fixated on the problem/solution now. Give him grace and adjust to his needs within the parameters of your family to help make the adjustment for both him and your wife. It's still the "cave stage" and light will dawn soon. Hang in there!
3) It may be a period to not insist on family worship as you've known it before. Consider this article: Second Thoughts on Family Worship.
4) If you haven't read Baby Wise, you might check that out. Some of the baby's earliest days are hectic, and the temptation is to form your family entirely around its needs. It's a training process to get the baby on the family's schedule, but it tends to work best. Work towards getting the baby on a schedule (usually a 2.5-3 hour schedule at first), which would hopefully create time where the baby is either asleep or content, at which point you could do family worship. Really this book is a life saver for many young parents.

 

[sevenzedek]

…A six-week old child isn't the norm, things change over time, so don't get too fixated on the problem/solution now…

I did not consider that this time isn't the norm. This must be proof that I have become somewhat fixated on the issue. Thanks for the article.

 

[sevenzedek]

3) It may be a period to not insist on family worship as you've known it before. Consider this article: Second Thoughts on Family Worship.

I appreciate the article. And the application of Deuteronomy 14:21 was very helpful as well.

 

[Jack K]

It's easy for dutiful, godly parents to inadvertently make family worship/devotions the defining spiritual activity that makes them feel they're doing a good job at maintaining a good, Christian family. Then when that time doesn't go as smoothly as they'd like, they quickly get frustrated. It's a sign that family worship (though a good thing in itself) has become something of an idol.

It happens to me all the time. Don't let it happen to you.

It's great that you do family worship and work to make it a priority in your schedule. Much good will come of that, and it's part of your duty as parents. But make sure you don't put it on such a pedestal that it becomes a burden, or that it becomes the way you measure your Christian righteousness. Sometimes a crying baby will interrupt things and you just have to laugh it off as one of God's reminders not to get too caught up in how perfect your family is or how well you're leading them.

 

[JoannaV]

How is nursing going? Babywise can cause supply problems where there isn't an abundant supply. If nursing is going great then she could nurse the baby during family worship, unless you are dancing or something

As others have said, this is not a normal time! Babies are changing all the time, and therefore so will your ways of doing things.

 

[Scottish Lass]

If nursing is going great then she could nurse the baby during family worship, unless you are dancing or something

That was my thought, too. Or find a time where the baby is consistently cheerful (Gracie was not a morning baby!), and try for family worship then.

Disclaimer: I'm a nurse-on-demand attachment parent.

 

[sevenzedek]

attachment parent.

Interesting. Meaghan has a Masters in Christian Counseling. We struggle with some (not all) of the attachment ideas.

 

[sevenzedek]

How is nursing going? Babywise can cause supply problems where there isn't an abundant supply.

We found this out very quickly. Supply is good now.

 

[Bill The Baptist]

Just remember that children are a blesing from the Lord and when we care for infants we are living out the gospel. Eventually they will get older and you can and should teach them to be quiet, but for now let the interuptions be a blessed reminder of God's blessing in your lives.

 

[N. Eshelman]

Let the baby have the sweet milk of the mom while hearing the sincere milk of the Word. No six week old needs to be scheduled into an American ideal. Babies don't come with Day Planners- they don't need them.

Take care of babies needs and as baby grows family worship will become easier. I have five children, the oldest of which is nine. We have had family worship consistently since we got married 10 years ago. As long as you have little ones there will be things to work through. It's a learning process. Be gracious- and feed that baby. <---- that's real baby wise.

 

[Scottish Lass]

attachment parent.

Interesting. Meaghan has a Masters in Christian Counseling. We struggle with some (not all) of the attachment ideas.

I don't know anyone who's a full attachment parent--everyone picks and chooses what works, but baby-wearing, feeding on demand, avoiding the use of "cry it out," etc. worked well for Grace. Turns out she has sensory processing disorder, for which AP is perfect, so it was providential.

 

[Pergamum]

There are advantages to some measure of scheduling even a small child. Our 3rd is much easier than our first due to some moderate scheduling.

Also, I am not sure why family worship needs to be overly formal or scheduled way in advance or at a set time or overly involved during these hard times.

Instead of a time of "family worship" (as if this is a big event) why not be content for awhile to try to slip in a time of bible reading and praying and maybe a song with your children at a convenient time (even before bed).

Why not spontaneously grab family worship time when the little one goes to sleep?

 

[SolaScriptura]

Why not spontaneously grab family worship time when the little one goes to sleep?

Spoken like a "God-is-the-God-of-adults" Baptist! Don't you know that it is called FAMILY devotions because the whole FAMILY is there??


Ok, that was tongue in cheek.

Seriously folks, this "carry on while the kid screams" mindset is silly. Really. Silly.
If the child is distracting everyone in the room, just go put them in their bed.
Of course, if you really want to press on, then by all means proceed... but I would hate for anyone to labor under a sense of obligation where there is none.

Your daily dose of common sense, right here, folks!

 

[Goodcheer68]

Spoken like a "God-is-the-God-of-adults" Baptist! Don't you know that it is called FAMILY devotions because the whole FAMILY is there??


Ok, that was tongue in cheek.

 

[Miss Marple]

Be careful with "Baby Wise" and read some responsible criticisms of it before you go whole hog. I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I saw some scary things when it became the rage at our church in Virginia; also in Virginia Beach not one but two infants died (dehydration) by parents practicing this, separately, reported on the news. Not all parents get to that point but there are other concerns as well, as to a child's need for attention and whether that is actually a sin or is truly a need, exactly how manipulative an infant is trying to be, etc.

As for family devotions, having had five infants, my advice is to normally have it at a particular time; keep it reasonably short; make it a positive and happy time; allow the baby to sleep if tired, nurse if hungry; and don't panic if occasionally devotions don't happen or are interrupted by a diaper change. It is strange to think of God being angry with us for any of these things; they are not sin. I am afraid we teach our children that they ARE sin if we act as though a baby who needs burping is somehow an offense.

 

[Pergamum]

Why not spontaneously grab family worship time when the little one goes to sleep?

Spoken like a "God-is-the-God-of-adults" Baptist! Don't you know that it is called FAMILY devotions because the whole FAMILY is there??


Ok, that was tongue in cheek.

Seriously folks, this "carry on while the kid screams" mindset is silly. Really. Silly.
If the child is distracting everyone in the room, just go put them in their bed.
Of course, if you really want to press on, then by all means proceed... but I would hate for anyone to labor under a sense of obligation where there is none.

Your daily dose of common sense, right here, folks!

Though some might mistake me for a Swedish furniture store, I prefer to call myself an Okia Baptist, and believe that God largely works through family structures (there's lots of general promises in the Proverbs). Not only ought we to be zealous in missions, but we ought to see Godly families as a major means of filling the earth with His Glory.

My kids love story time. We have never called story time "Family Worship" yet we read and pray and have fun.

 

[sevenzedek]

…I prefer to call myself an Okia Baptist, and believe that God largely works through family structures…

Okia? Isn't that a certain kind of Greek yogurt (Oikos, tee hee hee)?

What is ironic is that my family used to eat Greek yogurt until baby Ashby arrived on the scene. Now we don't all share in that anymore since Meaghan is breast feeding.

And Ashby's full name is, Ashby (house) Josiah (God heals) Dulin, the meaning of it we discovered after we already made the decision of what to name him: Our house God heals.

God works through family structures alright; apparently in the minutiae. We are praying that God would save "little man" just as he saved king Josiah when he was young.

 

[Tirian]

We have 4 kids. When they were 6 weeks old the babies were put to bed, and I was sensitive to how long we went. Small portion of scripture, age appropriate explanation of the text, short prayer then bring baby out. You don't want to ave your older ones come to resent that beautiful time.

We didn't use the "cry it out" approach generally speaking - but 10-15 minutes will not hurt them

Baby will soon grow out of it, and we prayed over them (hands on) each night when they went down for the night so they didn't miss out on the means.

Our youngest is now four and he LOVES family worship although his answers to my questions can be a little strange at times (there are still too many answers that include things like cars and helicopters and crocodiles) but it adds to the enjoyment of my other kids. We have laughed, and cried around the word and hugged and always hold hands when I close in prayer.

Of course our time spent is now longer has we have kept it age appropriate and not gotten hung up about when things just didn't work out from time to time.

 

[JOwen]

We have 9, and we soon learned that putting our baby in a swing in the living room during family worship did he trick for all but one.

 

[JennyG]

Originally Posted by JoannaV
If nursing is going great then she could nurse the baby during family worship, unless you are dancing or something
That was my thought, too. Or find a time where the baby is consistently cheerful (Gracie was not a morning baby!), and try for family worship then.

Disclaimer: I'm a nurse-on-demand attachment parent.

definitely the answer, I think. I was a nurse-on-demander too (it's a lot easier, at that stage) and it blessed the day with random periods of calm - not necessarily when you expected or might have planned them perhaps, but you only need to be a bit flexible and ready to seize the moment