toddpedlar
Iron Dramatist
Trevor, "it sounds like" is the presumption. I was not permitted to colour, play, eat, or sit with older couples like the other little girls. I still loved church. Yes, my children are expected to sit with their hands in their laps. They are expected to sit in front of their schoolwork throughout the week as well. They are expected to sit, pay attention, and participate in family worship. They will be expected to sit and listen at certain times throughout life. My baby is expected to make babbling sounds right now...or nap. My 3yr old is also expected to sit. Sometimes next to me and sometimes on my lap. She pays very good attention for a 3yr old. Occassionally she looks around at the other children, but not in a manner distracting to others...not talking or fussing or anything. She does occassionally play with my hands, my ring, my fingers (opening and closing them...like a normal three year old). She however, is sitting still and has not been given special items that she will later think is her due to distract her in service.
I will state, that there are some children that are so antsy, that they might NEED the distraction of a pictorial bible story book or other such. Usually this is short term till they outgrow a certain stage. The church can bear with these parents...the child is a child and will behave so until it clicks in what proper behaviour is. Therefore grace is given. Every child is different and some take longer to learn than others. But this doesn't mean we give up and outsource the responsibility to others.
These are good thoughts. We have to recognize that children are all at different stages, just as their parents are. Children aren't going to be perfect worshippers while very young, and neither are we - take a look at Richard Steele's "A Remedy for Wandering Thoughts in Worship" if you think that your ability to pay attention in worship is "good". If you're anything like me, you'll find that there is probably as much to work on for you as there is (with obvious differences based on age difference and maturity in the faith) for the children. The difficulty is often that with the kids, evidence of their distraction is MUCH more overt.
We have to be careful to have age-appropriate expectations for our children - not to say that our expectations should match those of the world, may it never be! My four year old is quite simply not going to be held to the same standards as she will be when she becomes a young woman of 15 years. For some children this means they will need to occupy their hands with a pencil and paper or in some other quiet activity. We should also take note (as Jay noted) that our children gain a great deal from observing us in worship, and by participating as much through their quiet presence with us as anything else, and simply by hearing the word preached, even if they aren't following every nuance and argument.