Reading through the Bible and this forum, I've gotten very confused on the subject of Deacons and Deaconesses. It seems that the Greek word translated deacons (Διακόνους/Diakonous) might as well be translated as "those who serve". Phoebe herself is called a servant using the word 'diakonon'(servant). Romans 15:8 also uses the word 'diakonon' to refer to how our Lord was a servant. But 1 Tim 3:12 states that 'diakonoi'(servants) must be the husbands of one wife. If deacons must be the husband of one wife, how is it that Phoebe is described with the same word in Rom 16? Even if she is not a deacon but a servant, what gives? Obviously the text in 1 Tim can't be saying that all servants are men. What does all of this amount to? This just leaves me in a really tight spot. Any advice/words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.