a mere housewife
Not your cup of tea
Pergy, I should make it quite clear that I wasn't thinking at all of you when I said that about living as Americans (in fact, I should probably clarify that my comments on this thread haven't been directed to anything but the original question: because Ruben and I were both mk's, and because Ruben served as an interim missionary after we were married, I have thought about this a lot). I think of you and your wife as one of the better examples of not expecting your kids to lead normal American lives (I still remember a lot of things your wife said to me when you were here). I understand that we can't alter the way we were formed. But there are those things we simply can't change, those things we might be able to but they are a matter of trying to preserve some sanity and enough basic comfort to last as long as possible in a difficult place; and things that are *designed* to make us and our children feel like we/they are leading normal American lives (such as, all the kids in our home church in the states are wearing uniforms to school; my child will wear uniforms to homeschool), and it is the latter I still have doubts about. It probably exists more in a number of small than large expenses, but the net result may be someone who isn't for instance, as content as your wife is for your son to be out catching reptilian creatures instead of attending a summer sports camp; and that seems like making things harder for oneself in several ways (the financial aspect of which may be the least). Again, I've never had kids on the mission field, or tried to make that adaptation, hence I am unwilling to be too hard and fast in that opinion.
I do understand that one of the terribly difficult things missionaries face is from those at home -- who have no idea what the impact of a number of daily hardships/sacrifices may be - making snap judgments only on the basis of what is visible to them. Feeling 'judged' by Christians at home on top of the difficulties of the field itself is crushing (perhaps only because I am a woman and can only speak as one, I think it must be especially so for a woman); and is one reason why I qualify things I wonder about in various circumstances, not simply 'out loud' but in my heart, with my own ignorance.
I do understand that one of the terribly difficult things missionaries face is from those at home -- who have no idea what the impact of a number of daily hardships/sacrifices may be - making snap judgments only on the basis of what is visible to them. Feeling 'judged' by Christians at home on top of the difficulties of the field itself is crushing (perhaps only because I am a woman and can only speak as one, I think it must be especially so for a woman); and is one reason why I qualify things I wonder about in various circumstances, not simply 'out loud' but in my heart, with my own ignorance.